the summons
- Thread starter Sunlight
- Start date
LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
Janet,
the second shoe has fallen. I'm sure you knew that it would be here....I hope ant is able to take this like a man and not make it worse by running.
Lots of hugs and support to you this weekend.
Sharon
the second shoe has fallen. I'm sure you knew that it would be here....I hope ant is able to take this like a man and not make it worse by running.
Lots of hugs and support to you this weekend.
Sharon
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I always try to post a little hope.
Although this is devastating news, maybe this will be the time Ant gets the help he needs so he can have a substance free life outside of prison once he is released. He's still so young--he can turn this around. (((Huge, big hugs))) I so much want this young man, who seems like such a good soul underneath the abuse, to be able to change his life...and it's never too late...
Although this is devastating news, maybe this will be the time Ant gets the help he needs so he can have a substance free life outside of prison once he is released. He's still so young--he can turn this around. (((Huge, big hugs))) I so much want this young man, who seems like such a good soul underneath the abuse, to be able to change his life...and it's never too late...
the code for the habitual offender is
75 SS 6503.1
I do beleive it refers to the traffic stuff. but he has already lost his license til he is 34 (he is 24 now). he may never drive again..and that is ok. problem is once labeled, they may look back and see other charges and just throw the book at him with max.
still havent told him. wont tell him til I have to.
cried all last evening, feel better today. I know he has to face whatever. I also know he is staggering around drunk and vulnerable at times in the middle of the night on streets.
still, jail or prison is not the answer. ant learns from those people, he gives up, he gets no help for his addiction to alcohol. locked in rehab with education and other tools may be good. maybe not.
I hate jails and prisons. I hate the whole process, I hate his son eventually having some idiot chide him because his dad is in jail. I hate my one sister in law calling him a convict. all negative stuff. sigh.
75 SS 6503.1
I do beleive it refers to the traffic stuff. but he has already lost his license til he is 34 (he is 24 now). he may never drive again..and that is ok. problem is once labeled, they may look back and see other charges and just throw the book at him with max.
still havent told him. wont tell him til I have to.
cried all last evening, feel better today. I know he has to face whatever. I also know he is staggering around drunk and vulnerable at times in the middle of the night on streets.
still, jail or prison is not the answer. ant learns from those people, he gives up, he gets no help for his addiction to alcohol. locked in rehab with education and other tools may be good. maybe not.
I hate jails and prisons. I hate the whole process, I hate his son eventually having some idiot chide him because his dad is in jail. I hate my one sister in law calling him a convict. all negative stuff. sigh.
envisablepuppet
New Member
Janet,
I feel the same as busywend. Your post made me wanna cry.
I have always thought ant would be one of the difficult children to pull through all this. I know this won't be a popular comment but I really don't think the punishment is going to fit the crime. I wish they would lose the paperwork. He is hurting himself and his family but he is not deliberately hurting anyone else. Yes I know drinking and driving is a very, very bad thing and the possible consequences to others can be devastating. But for Ant I don't think his punishment will benefit anyone. Especially him. I know a lot of people won't agree with me saying this but it's just the way I feel about it.
Please don't anyone chew me out for saying that. I was already chewed out for starting an opinion and it caused me to stop posting. I guess I'm just one of those people that get hurt feelings very easily and then I start doubting myself. I really would like to feel ok about posting again.
I really feel so very badly for you and Ant Janet I wish there was something I could say to make everything better but I know there isn't :frown: All I can say is take care of yourself and I'll pray for Ant. So sad :frown:
Lea
I feel the same as busywend. Your post made me wanna cry.
I have always thought ant would be one of the difficult children to pull through all this. I know this won't be a popular comment but I really don't think the punishment is going to fit the crime. I wish they would lose the paperwork. He is hurting himself and his family but he is not deliberately hurting anyone else. Yes I know drinking and driving is a very, very bad thing and the possible consequences to others can be devastating. But for Ant I don't think his punishment will benefit anyone. Especially him. I know a lot of people won't agree with me saying this but it's just the way I feel about it.Please don't anyone chew me out for saying that. I was already chewed out for starting an opinion and it caused me to stop posting. I guess I'm just one of those people that get hurt feelings very easily and then I start doubting myself. I really would like to feel ok about posting again.
I really feel so very badly for you and Ant Janet I wish there was something I could say to make everything better but I know there isn't :frown: All I can say is take care of yourself and I'll pray for Ant. So sad :frown:
Lea
DazedandConfused
Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry. :frown:
(((hugs)))
(((hugs)))
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Janet...Sigh...I just dont know what we are gonna do with these boys. I hope Ant handles this ok and that things dont go too badly for him. I also hope he gets state time instead of county time because I think its better. Its the same thing Im hoping for with Cory.
Maybe we should have a forum for parents of kids in jail...sigh.
Maybe we should have a forum for parents of kids in jail...sigh.
Big Bad Kitty
lolcat
Janet & Janet,
I am praying so hard for you two and your boys. It just makes my heart hurt.
I am praying so hard for you two and your boys. It just makes my heart hurt.
:::Lea,
I agree with your post. Ant ends up with people who are violent, people who are mentally insande, you name it. he needs help but not punishment. I know DUIs can and do kill people. I know he needs to stop drinking and driving. he said when he is drunk he doesnt think about that. he doesnt think right at all.
so what can we do? jail didnt help him the first 6 or 8 times. three county jails did not change him, as the warden said they are only there to hold him a set amount of time. they are to see that they are alive when released. period. he mostly hurts himself.
this is chronic. only a miracle would stop this. I spent nearly 200.00 getting him to the doctor and getting him legal drugs to help his anxiety. he isnt even taking them. last weekend, an entirely different police dept picked him up in the middle of the night staggering down the road after he left a bar at closing time. they drove him home.
he is an alcoholic, not a criminal. his alcoholism gets him in legal trouble. he is a disaster waiting to happen, a potential victim when drunk, dangerous to others when blacked out. he needs confined to protect him from himself. sadly jail is a horrible confinement, with no counseling, no education, bare walls to stare the hours away. while he is there he is crying and sick. he comes out even more embittered, more hateful, less hopeful, more in debt, less family support. if that sort of thing would have helped reform him, he would be sober by now. it just doesnt help.
I agree with your post. Ant ends up with people who are violent, people who are mentally insande, you name it. he needs help but not punishment. I know DUIs can and do kill people. I know he needs to stop drinking and driving. he said when he is drunk he doesnt think about that. he doesnt think right at all.
so what can we do? jail didnt help him the first 6 or 8 times. three county jails did not change him, as the warden said they are only there to hold him a set amount of time. they are to see that they are alive when released. period. he mostly hurts himself.
this is chronic. only a miracle would stop this. I spent nearly 200.00 getting him to the doctor and getting him legal drugs to help his anxiety. he isnt even taking them. last weekend, an entirely different police dept picked him up in the middle of the night staggering down the road after he left a bar at closing time. they drove him home.
he is an alcoholic, not a criminal. his alcoholism gets him in legal trouble. he is a disaster waiting to happen, a potential victim when drunk, dangerous to others when blacked out. he needs confined to protect him from himself. sadly jail is a horrible confinement, with no counseling, no education, bare walls to stare the hours away. while he is there he is crying and sick. he comes out even more embittered, more hateful, less hopeful, more in debt, less family support. if that sort of thing would have helped reform him, he would be sober by now. it just doesnt help.
Normally i do not post, i do lurk here everyday to keep an eye on whats going on in everyones lives but i just dont know what to say to others dealing with their hard times.
Janet... i have kept track of ants story for a few years now and it saddens me to read what you and ant are going through.
i sure wish the legal system could see that our difficult child's who dont obey to law need help.. and that placing them in jail is not the answer, its easier and cheaper to place to lock them up than to help them overcome their problems the correct way through pysch help and medications.
you are doing the right thing by not telling ant till you have to.
Thinking of you both.... Masta
Janet... i have kept track of ants story for a few years now and it saddens me to read what you and ant are going through.
i sure wish the legal system could see that our difficult child's who dont obey to law need help.. and that placing them in jail is not the answer, its easier and cheaper to place to lock them up than to help them overcome their problems the correct way through pysch help and medications.
you are doing the right thing by not telling ant till you have to.
Thinking of you both.... Masta
I have told him to tell his PO from the start. he never listens to me. truthfully the PO can put him back in our own county jail to serve the original sentence for the DUI and other charges there. it would also revoke all the time out he has had and start with day one...groundhog day for sure. then he would go to this 4th county and serve whatever they choose.
