The Weekend Woes, Again. ((sigh..))

[WiseChoices]

This may be too simplistic, but why not just put the letter in the mailbox for him to pick up whenever, and then going about the weekend how you chose and not responding to texts unless you want to. Just because someone messages us does not mean we have to respond.

 

[Beta]

The postal service has a way to allow homeless people to receive mail. I can't remember what it's called or how it works, but there is a way. Just call the post office or maybe the USPS website would have the info.

 

[Copabanana]

postal service has a way to allow homeless people to receive mail

Do you mean general delivery?

 

[Chasejazz]

I don't know the rules, whether or not you can or can't. I know only what I was able to do for a number of years.

Going took into it bc I think it might work. Thanks.

 

[Chasejazz]

This may be too simplistic, but why not just put the letter in the mailbox for him to pick up whenever, and then going about the weekend how you chose and not responding to texts unless you want to. Just because someone messages us does not mean we have to respond.

This may be too simplistic, but why not just put the letter in the mailbox for him to pick up whenever, and then going about the weekend how you chose and not responding to texts unless you want to. Just because someone messages us does not mean we have to respond.

That's what I just did.
I wrapped up his mail and he left it in the mailbox.
Hopefully, he will just grab it and go, until I will make other arrangements.

It's so odd, these hoops. Trying to avoid my own child.
It's so late.
I need sleep.

 

[tamarann]

So, I get this text from OB(Oldest Boy) saying "if you have mail for me, leave it in the mailbox and I'll swing by on Sunday and get it...".
(He's trying to get his birth certificate mailed from out-of-state. I had already gave him the original last year and he promptly lost it, so who knows?)
There's a letter here from Vital Statistics office. I know there's no certificate bc it's restricted. Long story but he's gonna lose it when I give him the letter.
I really don't need this crap.
Every weekend lately there's been a text, a voicemail or an unexpected knock on the door from him. I'm more or less fine all week and then BOOM!@#!!...drama!!!
I swear. Every single contact with him gets me going again. It drives me crazy!
When I put him out in May, after The Last Crazy Fight I Could Stand For The Rest Of My Life, he totally disappeared for about a month. ((Poof!!)) Initially, I worried. I cried. I was a wreck.
It hasn't been that long since OB's been homeless/living in his car, but I have nights now when I can sleep. I have surrendered to the fact that I did all I can for him. He's 40 and needs to make it work somehow, somewhere. I'm so very very very done, and I'm learning to stay busy and take care of Me. Finally!
I don't know what it is about weekends, but just when I think I can have a single FULL decent, calm and uneventful week, something surfaces on the weekend and throws a monkey wrench into it. Arrrrggghhhh!!!
For instance, last weekend I heard from my Ex that YB (Youngest Boy) -- my family-distancing overachiever -- got married 2 weeks ago. My Ex went to the ceremony although I wasn't told about it, nor was I invited. So, why tell me now? After the fact?
Sigh.
I was reading about someone on here who bought an Airstream and another who sold, or plans to sell their house and leave no forwarding address....
I am so tempted.
It's Friday. Another weekend and I want to walk out on my life. Seriously.Pack and go.
Start over, at 58 years old , where no one knows me or the circumstances of my life, my kids, my marriages, my pain.
There is still a part of me that feels ashamed. Alone. Sad. Questioning.
And I just can't see myself fighting this fight forever.
It's been 8 years with MG...3 years with YB, and now this latest go 'round with OB.
There's got to be a line that can be drawn in the sand. A place where I can start to feel whole again.
I don't know. Is there?
Anyways, thanks guys, just for being here. ♡

I’m so sorry you need to be here and I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I “left our lives” in our Airstream a year ago and I have struggled all year worrying about my boys. Finally, I am starting to REALLY let go. It’s not easy, as I am leaving one of them homeless after this visit, but I have no other choice if I want to save my own life. Keep bringing it back to you...your health, your safety, your sanity. Sometimes it helps me to imagine what I would do for my best friend of this were happening to her. Then I do that for me.



P: a

 

[BusynMember1]

Tam, you are very courageous and smart. I absolutely love how you live your life and how you feel better.

We need to all follow your example.

 

[Chasejazz]

Sunday Afternoon :
OB came up to the porch, and ever so quietly took the envelope with his mail in it.
I watched him through the window, he walked to his old car (at least it's still running) and he drove off.

He looked very thin. (He has a muscle disease, a form of Muscular Dystrophy.)
From the back, he seemed lost even though I couldn't see his face. Some of you might know what I mean....

Tomorrow is Monday.
The weekend is over.

 

[Kalahou]

From the back, he seemed lost even though I couldn't see his face. Some of you might know what I mean....

I know very well.
... (my son turned 40 this week. It's hard to accept the seemingly lost person he is, but I try to let him be.) I'm learning that to worry about someone is to do both him and myself harm. I'm learning my involvement is destructive to him and to myself. (I'm sometimes lonely, feeling some heartache - but that is my problem to get over. )

 

[Albatross]

I'm glad it worked out, Chasejazz. Can I call you CJ for short? I know those feelings of unease when my son is in the vicinity, anticipating that I might have to defend boundaries or otherwise deal with the chaos that follows in his wake. I hope you were able to get some rest and decompress.

 

[Chasejazz]

Thank you, Albatross.
It's just so hard.
The smallest things, you know...?
In my wildest dreams, I never thought it would turn out this way. Never.
You said it exactly right.
You knew what I was feeling.
Thank you for that.

 

[Beta]

None of us thought we would be where we are today with our kids. Sometimes it's like a nightmare you just want to wake up from.