Thinking About Officially Calling it Quits...

[klmno]

I feel your pain and I completely understand the feeling that it's a different boat when we are trying to accommodate so much and the services are making matters worse.

I like JJJ's idea and think I would go with that.

Personally, I don't think these agencies have people who know what they are doing and the people in charge don't really know how to make good decisions with providers when they do have funding- this is why they are always running out with hardly anyone getting help. Notice how statistics don't seem to look too good whether funding is available or not.

 

[DaisyFace]

I think the question as to whether difficult child can support herself once she is on her own is a tough one...

If she were putting any effort into school or activities or a job right now, any skill deficiencies would be very obvious and we would be able to see where supports are needed. But instead, it's all just a big game to her right now. School is a joke. And she seems to have no motivation to accomplish anything.

So very frustrating...

 

[DammitJanet]

I basically did what Susie said in a pared down way. I did take Cory to a psychiatrist. He was willing to do that. We went out of the program and to a private one. Actually the one I see today as he was the psychiatrist who dxd Cory in the first place.

Other than that, I provided basic clothing from the Goodwill store only. He accepted that because he realized he had blown his chances at nice things. Oh at Xmas I might have got him a few pairs of nicer jeans and a new warm jacket but I got him nothing like I would have got him. Those were lean years for him. If he messed up, the cops were called. Im sure some here remember when I had what could only be called an entire swat team surrounding my house. There must have been 20 cops of various sizes and abilities pointing guns at my house looking for him and meanwhile he had already slipped out the back door and disappeared through the woods! It was a circus. I think I found out that over the years we had called the police 19 times to our house. Now some of those times were for things other than Cory but still.

 

[jbrain]

I like JJJ's suggestion.

Or if you go the sink or swim route, start a paper trail. If the curfew is 10pm, lock the door and report her as a runaway at 10:01. If she tries to pick the lock at midnight, report an intruder trying to break in...

This is basically what we did with my difficult child when she was 17. I had "given up" on her but did everything I was legally supposed to do. We reported her as "missing" many times, she was in a PINS program, etc. She did end up in a court ordered dual diagnosis facility at one point and earned her GED there.

My story actually has a happy ending--at age 22 she ended up pregnant with her 2nd child (the 1st child ended up in foster care and is now being adopted) and left her abusive boyfriend and her stripping "career" and is now in a stable family situation, going to a technical community college, and doing a fine job of raising her daughter, who turned 1 year old today.