safetyfirst
New Member
My three kids all have sensory issues. We have worked really hard with them, the two older ones did "How Does Your Engine Run?" (the ALERT program), and all three have been in social skills groups. They all will occasionally do things that seem really inappropriate for their ages, but it is not everpresent and they seem to be better, usually, in school and out in public than at home. Stuff they did includes hitting "for no reason", talking loudly and out of turn, ignoring teachers, acting very immature (baby talk even in middle school).
My dilemma is this: my oldest is 16, and recently got a sleep disorder diagnosis. He is like a new kid, or rather, like the old kid before behavior and conduct issues pushed him into a different realm, when he is medicated. He cannot be medicated year-round according to his sleep doctor, so he struggles greatly when not medicated. Anyway, he plays soccer on a club team and likes it a lot. Trouble is, one of the kids is really worrisome to me and him. I know if the boy were my kid, I'd be worried about him being around others. And I am worried about my son regressing being around him, let alone being in danger.
I saw a thread about shirt biting, and someone said "even up to 8th grade". This boy will be in 11th grade soon, and he violently bites his uniform shirt frequently, both when he is on the field and when he is off the field. He needs significant management by the coach, he will not participate in team warmups, he will act inappropriately in ways that most 10 year olds would know better (one of mine didn't, but he never could have participated in team sports). His mother says he is medicated for ADD, but his behavior is nothing like any ADD I've ever seen, or any side effects from ADD medication. He has been violent on the field and has had to be taken off due to swearing and talking to himself. He does not talk to the other boys and constantly has earphones in. If I met him randomly, I would say he showed all the signs of a drug addiction
This all sounds horrible and judgemental, I know, but right now I have to decide if this one boy is enough of a bad influence or even a threat to my son, who has had conduct and behavior issues in the past, to take my son off the team. We have already decided that he not get involved with a club team where many players were smoking pot. Now we have to deal with this. It is not a special needs team, it is a competitive team where most players want to end up playing soccer in college. The coach and club have no training in dealing with these issues, and I am afraid for my son when he has to spend time with the team and parents are not allowed.
The only thing I can do about it is take my son off the team. He has played soccer since age 3, and we have never seen anything like this. I teach and I have never seen any child like this who wasn't classified and in 100% special education. The only aspect that bothers me is that the boy may become violent, and my son may get involved, on one side or the other. He is actually afraid of what the boy might do, although the boy has not threatened anyone except on the field against opponents or referees.
How far do you go to protect your child from what you think is a bad influence? How far can your charity for people who are different extend? I am thinking about Adam Lanza and similar cases, when I see this boy's behavior.
My dilemma is this: my oldest is 16, and recently got a sleep disorder diagnosis. He is like a new kid, or rather, like the old kid before behavior and conduct issues pushed him into a different realm, when he is medicated. He cannot be medicated year-round according to his sleep doctor, so he struggles greatly when not medicated. Anyway, he plays soccer on a club team and likes it a lot. Trouble is, one of the kids is really worrisome to me and him. I know if the boy were my kid, I'd be worried about him being around others. And I am worried about my son regressing being around him, let alone being in danger.
I saw a thread about shirt biting, and someone said "even up to 8th grade". This boy will be in 11th grade soon, and he violently bites his uniform shirt frequently, both when he is on the field and when he is off the field. He needs significant management by the coach, he will not participate in team warmups, he will act inappropriately in ways that most 10 year olds would know better (one of mine didn't, but he never could have participated in team sports). His mother says he is medicated for ADD, but his behavior is nothing like any ADD I've ever seen, or any side effects from ADD medication. He has been violent on the field and has had to be taken off due to swearing and talking to himself. He does not talk to the other boys and constantly has earphones in. If I met him randomly, I would say he showed all the signs of a drug addiction
This all sounds horrible and judgemental, I know, but right now I have to decide if this one boy is enough of a bad influence or even a threat to my son, who has had conduct and behavior issues in the past, to take my son off the team. We have already decided that he not get involved with a club team where many players were smoking pot. Now we have to deal with this. It is not a special needs team, it is a competitive team where most players want to end up playing soccer in college. The coach and club have no training in dealing with these issues, and I am afraid for my son when he has to spend time with the team and parents are not allowed.
The only thing I can do about it is take my son off the team. He has played soccer since age 3, and we have never seen anything like this. I teach and I have never seen any child like this who wasn't classified and in 100% special education. The only aspect that bothers me is that the boy may become violent, and my son may get involved, on one side or the other. He is actually afraid of what the boy might do, although the boy has not threatened anyone except on the field against opponents or referees.
How far do you go to protect your child from what you think is a bad influence? How far can your charity for people who are different extend? I am thinking about Adam Lanza and similar cases, when I see this boy's behavior.