Triggered

[JMom]

Oh my. Where to start. My work temporarily moved me to a new beat. Another officer had a baby, so I was asked (volun-told) to fill in. I am so out of my element. I am accustomed to grabbing my patrol keys and saying “bye, see ya in 10 hours”. Now I’m stuck behind a desk in the middle of downtown, blocks from all the homeless shelters.

The city’s homeless population is out of control and because of Covid the streets are lined with them. They are addicted, mentally ill, freezing their tear-ends off. There are a few “regulars” at post I am currently working. They come by ask for food and water and I bring them hand warmers from home.

Last night I was locking up at 10 pm and a man was lying by the door. My car was already started and part of me wanted to walk away. I knew that would be selfish.

I opened the door and man, did I open the door!!! This guy was stoned out of his mind. He tried to walk away but stumbled into the street and vomited. I made him come back and sit down and called for an ambulance . I was afraid he had overdosed.

He knew his 1st name but couldn’t form words. He didn’t know his last name. I asked him what he was high on. He said K2. Y’all, I was triggered. I saw my son in that kid. My son started spiraling young after smoking K2. It changed all of our lives. He was (in the past) homeless as well.

My son has turned his life around but had been in the same boat as this kid just 4 years ago. I teared up as I was waiting for back up.
I that that nagging feeling of how fleeting sobriety can be. The EMTs were pretty ambivalent about the situation. They did not transport him, even tho the kid thought it was 2018 and wasn’t sure if he was 28 or 31, born in 1998. What the heck??

I work alone, so my dispatcher had asked a neighboring agency to provide back up. One of the officers kept staring at me.

The call ended with him eventually being able to walk and was sent with a care package of food, water, socks and a blanket.

After the homeless man walked away the officer made eye contact with me and said “it’s ok”. I looked back at my body cam footage and I did look pretty distraught. Somehow I lost my mask , so my emotions were not hidden.


I finally closed up the building and started driving home. I saw him stumbling around a few blocks away-he had ditched the care package.

I know he wasn’t my son, but he was somebody’s son. I’m just sad. Thank you fir reading my novel.
Jmom

 

[JMom]

I tried to edit all the spelling errors, apparently there’s a time limit on that. *rear-ends *for. Please add Zachariah to your prayers.

 

[skittles]

Oh wow, this brings things so into perspective, we all have problems and stresses but some more than others. The fact that you can care so much for a strangers pain when you have your own says alot about you as a person, you have such empathy, it shows too how even when we think were ok the pain we feel for our kids is still there, bless you!

 

[Copabanana]

Dear Jmom

I think this was one incident and you need not fear. This is a temporary assignment. Everybody has vulnerabilities and soft spots. places where our strengths fit and our vulnerabilities don't hamper us. You will soon be back in your old beat.

But what you describe is a "thing." I have worked nearly all my adult life with people who are vulnerable in one way or another. As I have struggled in my own life, my heart has opened even more. For a long time, my open and soft heart helped. But after a time, i grew too soft. There was a time I felt I couldn't work anymore in my chosen field (prisons) because I had become too caring and too open and too vulnerable. What had always been a gift, the compassion, had become something else. I had to accept that I no longer fit in prisons. It's kind of the opposite of burn-out. I had not run out of caring. I cared too much. I'm writing this to say that this happens to people. I've heard the same about medical doctors, who become too caring to be dispassionately objective.

I agree with Skittles. How wonderful to imagine you out there with your kind heart, caring, and love. Especially for us whose children are vulnerable.

 

[newstart]

Oh my. Where to start. My work temporarily moved me to a new beat. Another officer had a baby, so I was asked (volun-told) to fill in. I am so out of my element. I am accustomed to grabbing my patrol keys and saying “bye, see ya in 10 hours”. Now I’m stuck behind a desk in the middle of downtown, blocks from all the homeless shelters.

The city’s homeless population is out of control and because of Covid the streets are lined with them. They are addicted, mentally ill, freezing their tear-ends off. There are a few “regulars” at post I am currently working. They come by ask for food and water and I bring them hand warmers from home.

Last night I was locking up at 10 pm and a man was lying by the door. My car was already started and part of me wanted to walk away. I knew that would be selfish.

I opened the door and man, did I open the door!!! This guy was stoned out of his mind. He tried to walk away but stumbled into the street and vomited. I made him come back and sit down and called for an ambulance . I was afraid he had overdosed.

He knew his 1st name but couldn’t form words. He didn’t know his last name. I asked him what he was high on. He said K2. Y’all, I was triggered. I saw my son in that kid. My son started spiraling young after smoking K2. It changed all of our lives. He was (in the past) homeless as well.

My son has turned his life around but had been in the same boat as this kid just 4 years ago. I teared up as I was waiting for back up.
I that that nagging feeling of how fleeting sobriety can be. The EMTs were pretty ambivalent about the situation. They did not transport him, even tho the kid thought it was 2018 and wasn’t sure if he was 28 or 31, born in 1998. What the heck??

I work alone, so my dispatcher had asked a neighboring agency to provide back up. One of the officers kept staring at me.

The call ended with him eventually being able to walk and was sent with a care package of food, water, socks and a blanket.

After the homeless man walked away the officer made eye contact with me and said “it’s ok”. I looked back at my body cam footage and I did look pretty distraught. Somehow I lost my mask , so my emotions were not hidden.


I finally closed up the building and started driving home. I saw him stumbling around a few blocks away-he had ditched the care package.

I know he wasn’t my son, but he was somebody’s son. I’m just sad. Thank you fir reading my novel.
Jmom

Oh my. Where to start. My work temporarily moved me to a new beat. Another officer had a baby, so I was asked (volun-told) to fill in. I am so out of my element. I am accustomed to grabbing my patrol keys and saying “bye, see ya in 10 hours”. Now I’m stuck behind a desk in the middle of downtown, blocks from all the homeless shelters.

The city’s homeless population is out of control and because of Covid the streets are lined with them. They are addicted, mentally ill, freezing their tear-ends off. There are a few “regulars” at post I am currently working. They come by ask for food and water and I bring them hand warmers from home.

Last night I was locking up at 10 pm and a man was lying by the door. My car was already started and part of me wanted to walk away. I knew that would be selfish.

I opened the door and man, did I open the door!!! This guy was stoned out of his mind. He tried to walk away but stumbled into the street and vomited. I made him come back and sit down and called for an ambulance . I was afraid he had overdosed.

He knew his 1st name but couldn’t form words. He didn’t know his last name. I asked him what he was high on. He said K2. Y’all, I was triggered. I saw my son in that kid. My son started spiraling young after smoking K2. It changed all of our lives. He was (in the past) homeless as well.

My son has turned his life around but had been in the same boat as this kid just 4 years ago. I teared up as I was waiting for back up.
I that that nagging feeling of how fleeting sobriety can be. The EMTs were pretty ambivalent about the situation. They did not transport him, even tho the kid thought it was 2018 and wasn’t sure if he was 28 or 31, born in 1998. What the heck??

I work alone, so my dispatcher had asked a neighboring agency to provide back up. One of the officers kept staring at me.

The call ended with him eventually being able to walk and was sent with a care package of food, water, socks and a blanket.

After the homeless man walked away the officer made eye contact with me and said “it’s ok”. I looked back at my body cam footage and I did look pretty distraught. Somehow I lost my mask , so my emotions were not hidden.


I finally closed up the building and started driving home. I saw him stumbling around a few blocks away-he had ditched the care package.

I know he wasn’t my son, but he was somebody’s son. I’m just sad. Thank you fir reading my novel.
Jmom

Hi Jmom, I was so glad to see you post and to hear your son is still on track. I said a prayer of gratitude that your son is doing well and I also said a prayer of hope and wisdom for the young man you had to deal with and for all the children that are off track. I had a business meeting in Austin a couple of years ago, I stayed downtown at at hotel not far from 6th street, I was horrified with all the homeless I saw sleeping in the streets and stoned out of their minds. Tents everywhere and right downtown.. So sad. My husband had a business meeting in Denver last year and he said homeless was worse than he ever has seen, the smell of pot was everywhere. My husband and I are not shocked with homeless, we have served meals in homeless shelters for many years, we just could not believe the massive numbers of homeless on the streets.

 

[MissLulu]

Hi JMom, I just wanted to say hello! I've missed you here!

I also wanted to say thank God for police officers like you. Your kind and tender heart might cause you grief at times, but our world needs more like you right now. Thank you for all you do

Good to have you back posting

 

[RN0441]

Thank you so much for showing that young man compassion that night. I know that we all hoped someone would be kind and care for our own just like you did for him.

You never know what turns someone around and makes them want to change their life. Maybe your kindness towards him will stir something deep inside of him, maybe remind him of his own mother who he is estranged from. Who knows?

I know that I, for one, have so much compassion for people now after what we've been through with our own son.

God Bless.

 

[Csmom]

I agree with the others. Thank you for showing that young boy compassion. The homeless just breaks my heart. I guess because it hits so close to home for me. Thank you for all you do.

 

[Carri]

“He’s somebody’s son...“

 

[JMom]

Hi JMom, I just wanted to say hello! I've missed you here!

I also wanted to say thank God for police officers like you. Your kind and tender heart might cause you grief at times, but our world needs more like you right now. Thank you for all you do

Good to have you back posting

Thanks Miss LuLu. I missed you too!

 

[JMom]

Thanks to all. I was really feeling low about him. I’m going to keep an eye out for him so I can get him some shoes. His were pretty bad. Love you guys!!!