Un-believable!!!
- Thread starter DaisyFace
- Start date
buddy
New Member
oh my word.
parents: We need support and respite from this child who is so challenging and wearing to our family.
state: We can't give you respite, there are no professionals who can handle such a dangerous and difficult child. We can't give you a treatment center, there are none that can handle this kind of situation. We don't have anyone who can deal with such a complex problem.
parents: what can you do?
state: we can find someone who can teach you to do what we can't teach anyone else to do and is impossible in any part of our system, (after all she is far to dangerous and risky for anyone that we know to handle) but we will still say that there is this fictitious person who can do this, (and thrust her into what we feel is an impossible situation for even a therapeutic center to handle) AND if you take a basic course in parenting then this problem that is too complex for anyone in the state to handle will surely get better and I am sure adding this class will help decrease the stress in your home because everyone can use a night out, right? OH by the way, when we do find someone, they will only be able to come some time in the middle of the night when their plane or train comes in and they will have to leave within thirty minutes to catch then bus to get to the airport for their flight out. We can arrange this for you once every six months and I am sure this will solve the problem for you. So be very very grateful ok???
I know YOUR situation is far more complex and ridiculous than this but the circular thinking is amazing and if it is hard for any of us reading this stuff to wrap our heads around I can't imagine living with it. My heart goes out to you. These people have made things so much worse for all of you and it is just beyond unreal that they are sucking up tax payer dollars to do such an inept job.
Star*
call 911........call 911
Daisy,
My first thought after reading their assesment was......Oh dear Lord.....after Dude? They're not taking ANY chances with ANY kid - because he was their ONCE and DONE kid. I'm not kidding - he put the "system" through the wringer and because of a lot of his behaviors - quite a lot of people in this program became EXTREMELY educated, alert, aware, to the situation that we as parents are facing every day. I feel for your situation, but in ours I was actually relieved that Dude behaved like he did "OUT" of our home. When his THERAPEUTIC foster parents and the "State Agency" secretly met to 'give him back' to us without notice - which is against rules - but they were out of options at that point???? We took him in for two weeks and then were told he would most likely end up in prison. Well thanks for that - and did you ALSO read our shrinks report that said we were sleeping at night with locks on our door in fear for our own life? Huh DID YA? Thanks for nothing.
Since our parting nearly four years ago? NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY SOUL has botherd to call us and do ANY type of follow up..and here's the kicker? Dudes case worker couldn't possibly forget HIS birthday - it was the same as his. So don't tell me you don't remember him. All I can say is - from what I've been trying to follow the Governor is trying to get rid of Budget and Control Board which I believe is where this program stems from and gets the majority of it's funding. Then again - she's WHOLE HOG on mental illness problems - so it's quite an oxy moron if you ask me. Perhaps she's picking and choosing which mental illnesses she's backing? I actually backed HER because she was so gung-ho for helping mental illness get recognition and put dollars back on the table for help. My suggestion would be to call her office, speak with her staff secretary and voice your concerns. One of her pet projects IS mental health wellness.
Yup when Dude was done with this office here in the MIdlands? I think they ALL took a two week vacation - NOT KIDDING. And like you I kept asking? Are you people seriously trying to help????? WTH?
I'm really sorry for you. I wished I lived closer - I really would take her for an afternoon and give you some respite. After being married to Satan and living with Dude? I'm not afraid of anything, or anyone.
Hugs & Love
Star
OH and one thought does COME to mind?????
FOR A bit of respite - WHY COULDN"T they put her in a locked facitlity for a weekend???? SURELY THOSE PEOPLE have the ability to look after her - We used to do that with Dude. They'd take him to Some place in Augusta, and another here in Columbia. They take him and drop him off and pick him up. THEY CAN ARRANGE THAT FOR A WEEKEND. FYI/
My first thought after reading their assesment was......Oh dear Lord.....after Dude? They're not taking ANY chances with ANY kid - because he was their ONCE and DONE kid. I'm not kidding - he put the "system" through the wringer and because of a lot of his behaviors - quite a lot of people in this program became EXTREMELY educated, alert, aware, to the situation that we as parents are facing every day. I feel for your situation, but in ours I was actually relieved that Dude behaved like he did "OUT" of our home. When his THERAPEUTIC foster parents and the "State Agency" secretly met to 'give him back' to us without notice - which is against rules - but they were out of options at that point???? We took him in for two weeks and then were told he would most likely end up in prison. Well thanks for that - and did you ALSO read our shrinks report that said we were sleeping at night with locks on our door in fear for our own life? Huh DID YA? Thanks for nothing.
Since our parting nearly four years ago? NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY SOUL has botherd to call us and do ANY type of follow up..and here's the kicker? Dudes case worker couldn't possibly forget HIS birthday - it was the same as his. So don't tell me you don't remember him. All I can say is - from what I've been trying to follow the Governor is trying to get rid of Budget and Control Board which I believe is where this program stems from and gets the majority of it's funding. Then again - she's WHOLE HOG on mental illness problems - so it's quite an oxy moron if you ask me. Perhaps she's picking and choosing which mental illnesses she's backing? I actually backed HER because she was so gung-ho for helping mental illness get recognition and put dollars back on the table for help. My suggestion would be to call her office, speak with her staff secretary and voice your concerns. One of her pet projects IS mental health wellness.
Yup when Dude was done with this office here in the MIdlands? I think they ALL took a two week vacation - NOT KIDDING. And like you I kept asking? Are you people seriously trying to help????? WTH?
I'm really sorry for you. I wished I lived closer - I really would take her for an afternoon and give you some respite. After being married to Satan and living with Dude? I'm not afraid of anything, or anyone.
Hugs & Love
Star
OH and one thought does COME to mind?????
FOR A bit of respite - WHY COULDN"T they put her in a locked facitlity for a weekend???? SURELY THOSE PEOPLE have the ability to look after her - We used to do that with Dude. They'd take him to Some place in Augusta, and another here in Columbia. They take him and drop him off and pick him up. THEY CAN ARRANGE THAT FOR A WEEKEND. FYI/
buddy
New Member
I think this is HUGE...in Special Education too.... may not outright say it but once a kid can hurt someone, their emotions take over and even though it is still the mental illness or developmental disability, it is not so rewarding to work with them anymore... the do-gooder in them fades away.....
H
HaoZi
Guest
Star, have you thought about providing respite as your new career? Or maybe lobbying for mental illness issues?
DF, I don't know what to tell you, but I wonder how far afield they had to go to find someone they consider so qualified.
DF, I don't know what to tell you, but I wonder how far afield they had to go to find someone they consider so qualified.
exhausted
Active Member
I'm sick, just sick! Can you get before a judge? Does she do anything illegal? Will she hit or push you so you can call the police and file assault charges? I know this is horrible, but this kid needs major help and you need something to get you to a judge who will call the agencies on their bull. (Believe me they will, ours did) Do you live in a rural area-is this part of the problem? I personally don't think you should go to these classes. Tell them you and husband cannot leave her alone to go to classes-too dangerous!!!!!!
I know the system is wacked, but this is crazy insane. Even our state has homes with 24 hour care and trained people besides the foster family that take girls only (Girls are very hard for the system from what I have been told-sexual issues). I think it is more a money and bed issue ( all the beds are full in their placements and they only have a given amount of time to place a kid if they committ, we have experienced this). Can you call the state regulatory agency that oversees this program? Have you tried asking your church to help place her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
I know the system is wacked, but this is crazy insane. Even our state has homes with 24 hour care and trained people besides the foster family that take girls only (Girls are very hard for the system from what I have been told-sexual issues). I think it is more a money and bed issue ( all the beds are full in their placements and they only have a given amount of time to place a kid if they committ, we have experienced this). Can you call the state regulatory agency that oversees this program? Have you tried asking your church to help place her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
ThreeShadows
Quid me anxia?
Every time I read one of your posts I feel like beating someone up.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I know. Buck says he has done everything and claims he has raised so many peoples kids and swears his parents were saints ....heavens, according to him, his mother was bigger than me and could do no wrong. She had her youngest while picking cucumbers one day and was back out picking them 2 days later! I simply am lazy...lol. I dont clean or anything. He is the perfect nanny.
Two quotes by Albert Einstein come to mind.............
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
And........
"You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created." (State)
And, I feel exactly like ThreeShadows......"Every time I read one of your posts I feel like beating someone up."
I am so sorry. Hugs and loads of empathy and compassion coming at you..........
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
And........
"You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created." (State)
And, I feel exactly like ThreeShadows......"Every time I read one of your posts I feel like beating someone up."
I am so sorry. Hugs and loads of empathy and compassion coming at you..........
I wish I had more...Thank you for this. I do believe that is my new FB status...
RA: there's no "like" button on this forum, so... <LIKE> <LIKE>...
Well-said.
(well-quoted?)
I just wanted to update and clarify a few things that have been mentioned / questioned / suggested here:
I believe that Star is right, this particular government agency is being very quietly phased out and its budget is being absorbed into another dept. There are many vacancies right now and they are cutting back the services they offer. I think the REAL reason that respite is not available is because they simply haven't bothered contracting with anyone in my area.
The region I live in is not densely populated. You can drive for over an hour at highway speeds and STILL be in the same county and the same school district (though the school district itself is sub-divided into four parts) - and my county is just one that makes up this "district". It is not cost-effective for any mental health agencies to do business here. Clients are so spread out that any single therapist is limited on how many clients can be served and billed after you factor in all the drive time. That is part of the reason that the state supervisor is interviewing therapists that live in other districts (she's just forgetting to ask them whether they are willing to travel to MY district).
I have already tried the lawyer route - I haven't found a lawyer that is willing to sue the state...so that's out.
husband is trying to write letters to the governor - but I have very little hope that it will actually accomplish anything...
Especially because the "official policy" that has been adopted by the state is that husband and I are terrible parents. IF we would only start cooperating and follow the teachings of the parenting classes, our daughter would be well under control, and then there would be no need for any repite, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), or any other services because she would no longer be a danger to society. Until the parents "get with the program" - there's nothing more that can be done.
I believe that Star is right, this particular government agency is being very quietly phased out and its budget is being absorbed into another dept. There are many vacancies right now and they are cutting back the services they offer. I think the REAL reason that respite is not available is because they simply haven't bothered contracting with anyone in my area.
The region I live in is not densely populated. You can drive for over an hour at highway speeds and STILL be in the same county and the same school district (though the school district itself is sub-divided into four parts) - and my county is just one that makes up this "district". It is not cost-effective for any mental health agencies to do business here. Clients are so spread out that any single therapist is limited on how many clients can be served and billed after you factor in all the drive time. That is part of the reason that the state supervisor is interviewing therapists that live in other districts (she's just forgetting to ask them whether they are willing to travel to MY district).
I have already tried the lawyer route - I haven't found a lawyer that is willing to sue the state...so that's out.
husband is trying to write letters to the governor - but I have very little hope that it will actually accomplish anything...
Especially because the "official policy" that has been adopted by the state is that husband and I are terrible parents. IF we would only start cooperating and follow the teachings of the parenting classes, our daughter would be well under control, and then there would be no need for any repite, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), or any other services because she would no longer be a danger to society. Until the parents "get with the program" - there's nothing more that can be done.
H
HaoZi
Guest
If that's their official policy, and she has specific diagnosis's, then that official policy should apply across the board, yes? Shouldn't matter what the diagnosis, a parenting class will fix all diagnosis's. Idiots.
DF -
None of what I'm about to say applies to your situation... but maybe in some distant future, somebody will be reading this who can actually try some creative stuff.
Being in a lightly-populated area IS a major challenge... but your area is not the only place on the planet with THAT problem. What some places do with this? The SCHOOL becomes the hub for services. NOT that the school is funding the extra services... school $$ is stretched too thin anyway... but the kids are already at the school, parents have ways of getting there, they can actually provide office space etc. to facilitate, etc. If the school is really cooperative, they can even pull the kid from class (vary carefully!) which means they could fill a half-day for somebody to come in for... enough to be worth it.
But... first you have to have MH and School bureaucrats who actually CARE.
None of what I'm about to say applies to your situation... but maybe in some distant future, somebody will be reading this who can actually try some creative stuff.
Being in a lightly-populated area IS a major challenge... but your area is not the only place on the planet with THAT problem. What some places do with this? The SCHOOL becomes the hub for services. NOT that the school is funding the extra services... school $$ is stretched too thin anyway... but the kids are already at the school, parents have ways of getting there, they can actually provide office space etc. to facilitate, etc. If the school is really cooperative, they can even pull the kid from class (vary carefully!) which means they could fill a half-day for somebody to come in for... enough to be worth it.
But... first you have to have MH and School bureaucrats who actually CARE.
