UPDATE I am ready

[jbrain]

Jo,
when my difficult child left (sort of kicked out by me) she and boyfriend went to stay with some people out in the country in a horrible place. difficult child told me they were like parents to her, she just thought they were so wonderful. Well, she and boyfriend decided to move out and this couple wouldn't let difficult child get her belongings. I went with her to the house to get them and they said she and the boyfriend ate them out of house and home and owed them money. I asked why they let them stay there in the first place and they said difficult child told them she had nowhere to go--I am sure she made our house sound awful. I said, "didn't it occur to you there might be a reason why I kicked her out?" Anyway, we ended up having to get a police escort so she could get her things since the agreement had been verbal--they had no right to keep her stuff. I couldn't believe the shape of that place and these people who were "like parents" to her--they were so shady, such low-lifes!

Jane

 

[hearts and roses]

I am amazed at the things that my exh has been saying to her. Things like "you're mom is really very upset and you owe her an apology" and "you really need to speak with your step dad. Despite your feelings about him, he's been a good father to you and you owe him at least a goodbye" and more.

Apparently she tried to lighten the moood by asking him about getting a new car and he squashed her flat - told her she 'ain't getting nothing but a job" lol. I think she's in for a shocker. She thought living with her dad was going to be like when they visit....Hahahaha. NOT.

Of course all of this can turn on a dime. So we're taking it day by day for now. She told exh that she visits every night...uh, it's only been ONE night. <insert eye roll> So, she told him she's coming here tonight; that she wants to see me and gramma. I know she is hoping gramma will slip her some more dollars, that's what she wants. I am holding fast and not giving her a dime. She's lucky I haven't taken away her cell by now.

Anyway....more to follow I"m sure. Thanks jbrain.

 

[WhymeMom?]

Glad to hear the ex is stepping up to the plate! Hope he gets a chance to make her change her ways......

 

[Ally]

If it makes you feel better, my daughter did call me a w**** and I did slap her. And when she continued to curse at me I pinned her up against the closet door and told her that she would not ever talk to me like that again. All it got me was investigated by CPS.

 

[hearts and roses]

Well, here's a kicker. My ex-sister in law called me last night (she was supposed to be my friend) and while we were talking she asked me if I thought the reason difficult child called me a wh**e was because of me leaving her brother in law (exh) all those years ago to be with my H. Well, I was shocked. I did NOT leave exh to be with H. My marriage to exh was over emotionally, physically and intellectually long before H came into the picture and it was a direct result of exh's cocaine and pot use that ended (and also things like not paying rent and me having to go to the church for food even though he made $800/week back in 1991). Unfortunately, I was so shocked by what she said that I couldn't find words, which is unlike me, but I mean really - I was blown away.

Now it's bugging me that this is her translation of my separation and divorce from her brother in law and since difficult child will be living down there...I am wondering if this will only cement for difficult child her belief that H is somehow to blame for mine and her father's divorce. Do I call the sister in law? Or do I just let things ride out? Incidentally, difficult child will be staying with her for the first four days she is there while H is in VA with easy child, so there is a pretty good chance that ex-sister in law will play armchair psychologist with difficult child, along with her adult daughter, who is an actual psychologist RN...ugh. WWYD?

 

[SunnyFlorida]

follow through, follow through, follow through.....and don't feed into any more than you have to with whatever ANYBODY says. You know the reason your 1st marriage ended and so does dex. difficult child is manipulating and probably too immature to truly understand an adult relationship.

You'll be there in the future, but she's got to DO TO GET. If she can do that at dex's house than bravo....... that's the goal.