Hi All,
E called me last night--I could see from the area code that she was calling from Illinois. She tried to tell me that she and Liam had left Seattle early and were now in Chicago. She told me when she got back to Seattle she discovered the guy watching her apt. had robbed and ransacked the place and she got evicted by her landlord, also fired from her job as exotic dancer.
I told her what I had learned about a single parent not being able to enlist. She tried to keep up the story for a minute, then changed it to say that after boot camp she could have Liam with her as long as she had someone to watch him. I told her that was not true (by the way, I was very calm and neutral, just stating the facts). Then she tearfully told me she had given up custody of Liam to her friend K a year ago.
I think this could be the true story because back a year ago I talked to K several times on the phone when E just disappeared, leaving Liam with her. K was willing to keep Liam with her (and her husband) but wanted to have legal rights in case he needed to go to the doctor, etc. At the time E's boyfriend was in jail and K was going to have him sign the papers there. E told me last night that he did indeed do that and she did too when she came back from her drug bender.
She once again told me she lied because she didn't want to disappoint me. I told her nothing disappoints me as much as the lies! I also told her she is a grown up and free to make her own decisions, I am not judging her, I just want the truth. I don't think she will ever get that. She does seem very sad about being away from Liam and feels guilty about giving him up to someone else. But she obviously couldn't take care of him on her own with no help from boyfriend so if she has indeed given him up it was probably the best thing for him.
So, the story is she is staying with friends til her enlistment date of August 17th. She plans to get day labor jobs to buy food but doesn't have to pay rent. One thing, in pics I have seen of her on facebook she looks way too thin. I had mentioned it to her before and she said she tried but just couldn't gain weight. Now she told me she sometimes just had no money for food.
I see her pattern--pretend that everything is okay until she is desperate and has to call for money. She doesn't want us to know how screwed up she is and her life is. She says she realized she has become just like ex-boyfriend, is living the same life he lives and she doesn't want that anymore.
So, I won't really know if she is in the Navy til I get something from them. I should receive a box of her personal belongings and a packet of info if she really has joined. I think she has joined but I know anything is possible and my guard is now up. I'm certainly not believing anything she tells me without proof. And, now I need to get back to my neutral zone where what she says and does has no real effect on my own life.
Thanks for listening, I will update you as things unfold.
Jane
E called me last night--I could see from the area code that she was calling from Illinois. She tried to tell me that she and Liam had left Seattle early and were now in Chicago. She told me when she got back to Seattle she discovered the guy watching her apt. had robbed and ransacked the place and she got evicted by her landlord, also fired from her job as exotic dancer.
I told her what I had learned about a single parent not being able to enlist. She tried to keep up the story for a minute, then changed it to say that after boot camp she could have Liam with her as long as she had someone to watch him. I told her that was not true (by the way, I was very calm and neutral, just stating the facts). Then she tearfully told me she had given up custody of Liam to her friend K a year ago.
I think this could be the true story because back a year ago I talked to K several times on the phone when E just disappeared, leaving Liam with her. K was willing to keep Liam with her (and her husband) but wanted to have legal rights in case he needed to go to the doctor, etc. At the time E's boyfriend was in jail and K was going to have him sign the papers there. E told me last night that he did indeed do that and she did too when she came back from her drug bender.
She once again told me she lied because she didn't want to disappoint me. I told her nothing disappoints me as much as the lies! I also told her she is a grown up and free to make her own decisions, I am not judging her, I just want the truth. I don't think she will ever get that. She does seem very sad about being away from Liam and feels guilty about giving him up to someone else. But she obviously couldn't take care of him on her own with no help from boyfriend so if she has indeed given him up it was probably the best thing for him.
So, the story is she is staying with friends til her enlistment date of August 17th. She plans to get day labor jobs to buy food but doesn't have to pay rent. One thing, in pics I have seen of her on facebook she looks way too thin. I had mentioned it to her before and she said she tried but just couldn't gain weight. Now she told me she sometimes just had no money for food.
I see her pattern--pretend that everything is okay until she is desperate and has to call for money. She doesn't want us to know how screwed up she is and her life is. She says she realized she has become just like ex-boyfriend, is living the same life he lives and she doesn't want that anymore.
So, I won't really know if she is in the Navy til I get something from them. I should receive a box of her personal belongings and a packet of info if she really has joined. I think she has joined but I know anything is possible and my guard is now up. I'm certainly not believing anything she tells me without proof. And, now I need to get back to my neutral zone where what she says and does has no real effect on my own life.
Thanks for listening, I will update you as things unfold.
Jane
