Waiting for a bed at the psychiatric hospital ...

[buddy]

Stressed, our doctor had a plan in place before Q went in. We had to go thru ER because he had medication issues and had been aggressive so had to be medically cleared they said, but when I got there I told the social worker that we had a plan for if there was a bed open at X hospital (it is a small child/adolescent hospital and that is all that is there...OP on one side inpt on the other side, like a little business building, kind of cute actually) and doctor had already checked and they had a few discharges that day so I knew there would be a bed, they had a heads up the call could be coming so things went smoothly (the first time but the second when he had seizures it took longer because we had to go to a different ER to get him int o the neuro hospital and they refused to take him due to the behaviors, but his intake evaluation was good for 30 days at the first hospital so they just took him back)... that is how we did it. I think a huge key for you is not having a psychiatrist who is supportive of your input and beliefs about your own child! I dont know if you are limited in psychiatrist choices but if you can, as you call around ask if you can interview the doctor before you choose them as the care giver for your child. I have done that for each of our docs and they have respected that and have been partners in his care (so far, for two that means for over twelve years).

And LOL, I know... yes three weeks seems long... but it was complicated by his enzyme issue and medication sensitivities and then the seizures so I guess they could make more of a medical case for keeping him??? I wanted him home sooner because he too likes it and picks up all kinds of lovely behaviors.

 

[pajamas]

I've learned some key words that seem to make a difference. "She's threatening to kill herself... us... her sibs ... the animals." Somehow threatening the animals seems more important to some. In her case, it's mostly acting out. I know it. Her psychiatrist knows it. But we also know not to add that part, because the insurance won't cover if we do.

At 14, she seems to have picked up on some of this. Today at the hospital she said she was hearing voices telling her to kill us. Since it's not come up before, I have to wonder if it's part of her idea about what will keep her in the hospital, but maybe that's OK.

As Buddy says, though - a good psychiatrist is really important, and can be hard to find. We live in a neighborhood where upscale dysfunction is more of the norm and I've had tdocs tell me that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) was too rare to be believed. Well, believe it (and it's consistent with her hx). We connected with ours through CeCe's first psychiatric hospital stay and continued into his private practice. He's unusual in our area, but highly qualified. When/if you look for a psychiatrist, ask about his/her typical patients and see how closely they align with your child.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Thanks Buddy and Pajamas. She is doing very well right now, but I am pretty sure that we are just honeymooning right now. But, I am taking what I can get at this point. I am hoping that if she continues it long enough, it will be a new habit. (wishful thinking I know.) The bad thing is that difficult child knows not to say she wants to kill herself or us or the animals. She knows those words will put her in the psychiatric hospital. And she does not want to be there.
I fully believe in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Pajamas. I have seen it first hand. There is an integrated preschool at the elementary school my daughters attended. Some of the children that have come through have so many problems Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) included. Hope that your daughter is doing better, and that you had another nice of peace.

 

[pajamas]

CeCe will be staying the weekend while psychiatrist tries again to get her admitted to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) again. She had a great day today, has a "very positive affect" according to the psychiatric hospital case manager. Our guess is she's pretty pleased with herself after reporting that we were abusing her. She has a fantasy about being taken from us and reuniting with her birthparents. I was so mad/frustrated when the psychiatric hospital called to say they had to report it. But it's not the first time, and cps knows about the fantasy, so likely it will be closed/unsubstantiated (again). And that's part of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)... sigh.

 

[buddy]

gosh, sorry. Q told a teacher I scratched his hand and she reported me too. I did actually, but it was during a restraint when he was totally out of control and his hand slipped thru (they really dont talk enough about how sweaty they get when you are restraining them in CPI classes, ugg) he thinks things will be better somewhere else tooo and that he could somehow find his birth parents. (TPR LONG before I was involved).

I always knew it would happen at some point. He used to stand by the window yelling, my mom is beating me, she hit me, etc... a really not fun part of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but at least it is documented. It went no where, he fessed up.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Why is it our difficult child's are sure that it is so much better somewhere else. My difficult child is not adopted, but would still prefer to live with a different family. When we had to call the police last week, she kept trying to tell the officer that husband was dragging her down the stairs by the neck. The officer looked at her and said " he is your dad, he can do whatever he needs to do to get you down the stairs and into the car." He totally shot down her whole "my dad is abusing me". It was kind of funny watching the wind go out of her sail. She just kept saying it over and over again. But he was dragging me by my neck!!! They didn't even blink at her. Glad that your daughter gets to stay for the weekend. At least you know you wil have calm for a few more days. I hope hope hope that her psychiatrist can get her into Residential Treatment Center (RTC) this time. I know how difficult it can be. We were told that difficult child doesn't qualify because she has no legal problems. Ok, if I just let her get so out of control that she gets into legal trouble then we might be able to get her in? So very frustrating. I hope you are able to enjoy your weekend, and catch up on your sleep.

 

[pajamas]

Maybe there's something about being 14(ish) at play. CeCe had the same experience the last time cps came out. The worker told her very clearly that corporal punishment is permitted in our state so dad could go a lot further than he had without concern. Inspection of backpacks (yes, really) was called good parenting not abuse, as were locker inspections at school. She's got a new audience here so she's on a high.

Have a psychiatric hospital family session in a hour that I frankly plan to cut short today (little real value), then a hair appointment, and shopping with Meg who'll be my "date" to the corporate shin-dig this evening. husband doesn't schmooze (his words) ... since I really have to (and it's in Meg's job description, too), I'm happy she can dress up and come along - nice for her, and me, to hang out with grownups and talk grownup stuff.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Pajamas it is great that you are making time for yourself. My therapist "yelled" at me yesterday for not making time. Hope you have a good time today with your DSD and a great time tonight at the corporate shin dig.
I would have to agree that being 14 has to be a part of it. difficult child turns 15 on the 4th of Feb. Think it will be better then?? Yeah me neither. Have a great day!!