Was "Hopeless" then "furious" now I am at "padded room status"!

[ksm]

The police just picked her up. She's in intake right now in the juvenile shelter.

Yesterday I started looking through my password emails that I've saved and I found the The email from Facebook four years ago when we set up her Facebook account. I woke up about 3 AM and realize with the email address and access I have to her phone texting app I was able to go to Facebook and then clicked on the I forgot password button. It instructed me to put in the email address and the last password I knew (which was the cats name from four years ago). It's been changed a lot since then.

It sent a temporary password to her texting app I got that and was able to set up a new password. Then I was able to read Messages from Facebook. There was one yesterday from a guy saying are you still at my house? I knew who the kid was and his address. Unfortunately he's not a kid he's 21.

I called 911 and told the police that I knew where she was yesterday but didn't know if she was still there. About an hour later the police said she's now in intake at the juvenile shelter. And I was able to read quite a few messages and see who is actually helping her and who wasn't.

Plus if she ever gets a phone again or find someone to loan it to her she will be locked out of her Facebook account. It slows things down but I know she could still get on Snapchat and Instagram to connect with friends. But that is all I can do right now.

She won't have access to electronics while she's in the juvenile shelter and they may be sending her to an inpatient treatment.

She has been gone since Monday evening. And found on Friday morning. I'm hoping she test positive for whatever she's been using. I'm sure she was using on Monday night and I don't know if she was staying away to try to get it out of your system before coming home or she just didn't want to come home.

I am hoping I can finally be able to concentrate on other things...like cooking, laundry, housework... I haven't been able to turn off my brain...

Ksm

 

[wisernow]

I agree with everyone above. Great job . What an awesome person you are to trying to find her so that you can keep her safe. One day hopefully she will wake up and thank you , thank you, thank you. Hugs and keep strong!

 

[ksm]

We won't be able to see her until court on Tuesday. There is a good chance she will get out of home placement. And I realize that is probably what she needs, but I am pushing first for in patient treatment. But they say that is like a last resort...because she has never had outpt treatment... I think things are out of hand, and I don't see how placing her in a different home in a different location and attend a different school is going to be successful...

I am not even sure she will be successful at the shelter. Many kids run off from the shelter. Alarms will go off if they open a door or window. But doors aren't locked...

I don't know what our child support obligation will be if she stays in state custody. Does anyone have a clue how they figure that out?

Sucks to be old and have to pay child support from SS and retirement funds.

Ksm

 

[Copabanana]

There is a good chance she will get out of home placement. And I realize that is probably what she needs, but I am pushing first for in patient treatment.

ksm. I do not know how they calculate parental share of costs for child support. I am sorry.

I guess the logic of placement is "you make your bed you sleep in it." I mean, letting the extent of the child's unraveling determine the level of intervention. Stupid. When by throwing resources at the child initially, could well circumvent later problems, save the child and family.

I am sorry.

Nobody could have done this better than you. I wish I had had somebody like you in my corner. My life would have been different.
Daughter knows she has you.

Why she has to unravel is a mystery to me. My son did too. I think these kids feel the compulsion to travel down the same roads that did their parents. Not by any genetic predetermination, but for symbolic reasons. To explore who they are and who they are not.

My son after 10 years lost is coming back. He is becoming again the child he was, grown up. I try to not regret the lost years (that I lost with him). Instead I just feel gratitude.

There is no way to know how long she will feel the need to act out. She may not know, either.

Very soon, I hope you are able to get your sanity back, your house and calm back, your joy back. What an odyssey this has been.

 

[Lil]

I don't know what our child support obligation will be if she stays in state custody. Does anyone have a clue how they figure that out?

These things vary from state to state and I only know Missouri. It might be best if you can get some kind of order entered by agreement with your states children division, thru a juvenile court order, because if they agree to an amount it may well be lower than what they'd calculate using whatever formula your state uses. Just a thought.

 

[ksm]

husband and I took off for a quick overnight in a town about an hour away. Dinner at an Italian restaurant we like. Night in a motel. Lunch, shopping and walking around... We needed this.


I saw on county sheriff bulletin there was an "assigned case" at the exact time my daughter was apprehended. I wonder if the 21yo felon on probation is now in bigger problems. I checked his fb page and he was posting photos of trucks during the night. Do he must not be licked up.

Ksm

Ps...I kind of feel sorry for the guy. I bet daughter really manipulated and lied to him, too.

 

[Percy]

So glad that the authorities are finally involved in a way that may be helpful; but at the very least should give you some sort of "time out"/pause, to catch your breath. If she is in detention, then you know all the bad places she is not!

 

[pasajes4]

I am glad she got picked up.

 

[Copabanana]

Dinner at an Italian restaurant we like. Night in a motel. Lunch, shopping and walking around... We needed this.

This sounds great ksm.

Maybe you can go next weekend too!

 

[Kathy813]

Wow. Just wow. You really are a warrior grandma.

Great job.

 

[AppleCori]

Wow, what a ride you have been on!

I'm glad she is in custody now.

That 21-year-old better start realizing that he can't hang out with underage girls. I hope he learns his lesson.

I am glad you and hubby had a nice weekend!

Apple

 

[Nancy]

I'm glad she was picked up also. The treatment center that my daughter was in said it was normal for family members to feel very relieved when their loved one was in custody and it was the first time they could get a whole night's sleep. You did a great job.

 

[ksm]

Unfortunately the shelter is not a "secured" facility as she is a "child in need of care" and not charged with a crime. Other teens have walked out io this facility before. Alarms will go off...and people will try to apprehend. Only the other side of the facility is truly a secured area.

So I am crossing my fingers.

Ksm