My son appeared to be doing well for a time, but even though I knew it wouldn't last, it lasted for a much shorter period than I had anticipated. To recap: he got kicked out of one sober living house because he relapsed and he left another one because he wanted to smoke. (I'm not really anti-smoking because a good friend of mine who is also bipolar told me several years ago that when he started smoking again he was able to get off his bipolar medications and is actually able to control his bipolar better with marijuana. But I digress.) He's quit and/or gotten fired from three jobs in the last month or two and blew off another one. He even went back to the toxic boyfriend, which true to nature blew up after three days. The only thing different is that he has a phone, at least until it gets shut off for nonpayment, so we have that line of communication.
But I'm tired of his excuses for his sorry job situation and my gut feeling is they are mostly untrue. I'm tired of his excuses for his addiction...everybody relapses and I'm not different. (That sounds self-defeating to me) It's okay to use as long as I have a genuine desire to quit, which I do. (If he had a genuine desire to quit he wouldn't justify using) He also says that only 3% of meth addicts successfully recover...I don't know if that's true or not. But I do know that if he decides he's in the percentage of those who aren't successful, he won't ever be.
I've stopped helping him financially with one or two exceptions (When he started at one of his failed jobs I bought him a Walmart e-gift card so he could buy groceries and toiletries to get him through to his first paycheck) Now I'm trying to stop helping him emotionally. He gets defensive and/or gives me more excuses when I say things like he's the only one that can commit to doing whatever it takes to get off the merry go round. The other day when I was on the phone with him I just got fed up with the lies, excuses, and alibis and told him I had to go. I just wish there was a way I could stop giving a crap what happens to him, but I know that's not possible for a mother to do.
What's really heartbreaking is that he recently lost a good friend to an overdose and that wasn't enough of a wake up call. It's like he's still in his teens and believe things like that happen to other people but he's somehow immune. I only pray he doesn't learn the hard way that it can very easily happen to him.
But I'm tired of his excuses for his sorry job situation and my gut feeling is they are mostly untrue. I'm tired of his excuses for his addiction...everybody relapses and I'm not different. (That sounds self-defeating to me) It's okay to use as long as I have a genuine desire to quit, which I do. (If he had a genuine desire to quit he wouldn't justify using) He also says that only 3% of meth addicts successfully recover...I don't know if that's true or not. But I do know that if he decides he's in the percentage of those who aren't successful, he won't ever be.
I've stopped helping him financially with one or two exceptions (When he started at one of his failed jobs I bought him a Walmart e-gift card so he could buy groceries and toiletries to get him through to his first paycheck) Now I'm trying to stop helping him emotionally. He gets defensive and/or gives me more excuses when I say things like he's the only one that can commit to doing whatever it takes to get off the merry go round. The other day when I was on the phone with him I just got fed up with the lies, excuses, and alibis and told him I had to go. I just wish there was a way I could stop giving a crap what happens to him, but I know that's not possible for a mother to do.
What's really heartbreaking is that he recently lost a good friend to an overdose and that wasn't enough of a wake up call. It's like he's still in his teens and believe things like that happen to other people but he's somehow immune. I only pray he doesn't learn the hard way that it can very easily happen to him.