BusynMember
Well-Known Member
You were the golden child, parents favorite, could do not wrong.
You were the scapegoat, blamed for everything you did even the good in you.
The lost child. You were ignored in comparison with siblings.
You were not given a role. You had great parents who validated everyone equally.
You were a mixture. Sometimes you were the golden child, but if you let your parents down you could find yourself a scapegoat.
What about tour parents? Loving and kind and fair or erratic and maybe personality disordered? Did you turn out to parent like your parents?
This is a topic that has always interested me. I hope I'm not alone but if I am thanks for reading anyway.
I will answer. I was a scapegoat by mother and her brother, my detested uncle, since babyhood. Mother told me I was hard to hold do she didn't. She propped a bottle in my crib. I think she blamed me for not melding into her arms even as an infant. Highly sensitive and prone to raging anger at me. I think definitely borderline traits if not borderline.
Dad had no favorites. Not home much. Narcicism. But I loved him for not treating me second best and felt Mother started most of their constant fights.
I had many mental health issues, which was partly why my mother scapegoated me. I did however know it and get help early. I learned how to parent by copying my wonderful mother in law and doing the opposite of my mother and know I was a loving good mom. Never close to my DNA family. Less and less close as I got older and healthier. Probably won't ever talk to any DNA member after the will from my father is distributed.
There is too much that went on for me to feel comfortable or safe around my siblings. Prefer my family of choice plus my sis in law and bro in law because they liike me the way I am and my two DNA siblings think the worst of me and my sister has a weird habit of calling the cops on me if she gets mad at me. And she wont admit this is ridiculous or apologize...therefore she could call the cops again. Haha my daughter is in law enforcement now. Maybe Sis is borderline like Mother because who does that with the cops? A borderline does !! Anyway there is no hope. Both she and my very nice bro also think the worst of me. But we will never discuss it again. It doesn't matter now.
I have so much love in my life. I can't accept that scapegoat stuff anymore. And I have no desire to be demeaned. Even nice brother wrote me a letter once probably to tell me what I did wrong. He was Mother's favorite. I never read his list of complaints. I threw it out. I have a lot of will power.
Sorry for the novel. Answer if you like, but two sentences will do lol.
Oh yeah. Also I was the oldest kid!
You were the scapegoat, blamed for everything you did even the good in you.
The lost child. You were ignored in comparison with siblings.
You were not given a role. You had great parents who validated everyone equally.
You were a mixture. Sometimes you were the golden child, but if you let your parents down you could find yourself a scapegoat.
What about tour parents? Loving and kind and fair or erratic and maybe personality disordered? Did you turn out to parent like your parents?
This is a topic that has always interested me. I hope I'm not alone but if I am thanks for reading anyway.
I will answer. I was a scapegoat by mother and her brother, my detested uncle, since babyhood. Mother told me I was hard to hold do she didn't. She propped a bottle in my crib. I think she blamed me for not melding into her arms even as an infant. Highly sensitive and prone to raging anger at me. I think definitely borderline traits if not borderline.
Dad had no favorites. Not home much. Narcicism. But I loved him for not treating me second best and felt Mother started most of their constant fights.
I had many mental health issues, which was partly why my mother scapegoated me. I did however know it and get help early. I learned how to parent by copying my wonderful mother in law and doing the opposite of my mother and know I was a loving good mom. Never close to my DNA family. Less and less close as I got older and healthier. Probably won't ever talk to any DNA member after the will from my father is distributed.
There is too much that went on for me to feel comfortable or safe around my siblings. Prefer my family of choice plus my sis in law and bro in law because they liike me the way I am and my two DNA siblings think the worst of me and my sister has a weird habit of calling the cops on me if she gets mad at me. And she wont admit this is ridiculous or apologize...therefore she could call the cops again. Haha my daughter is in law enforcement now. Maybe Sis is borderline like Mother because who does that with the cops? A borderline does !! Anyway there is no hope. Both she and my very nice bro also think the worst of me. But we will never discuss it again. It doesn't matter now.
I have so much love in my life. I can't accept that scapegoat stuff anymore. And I have no desire to be demeaned. Even nice brother wrote me a letter once probably to tell me what I did wrong. He was Mother's favorite. I never read his list of complaints. I threw it out. I have a lot of will power.
Sorry for the novel. Answer if you like, but two sentences will do lol.
Oh yeah. Also I was the oldest kid!
Last edited: