TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Sigh.
Just when we get 1 or 2 behaviors under control, another one crops up.
The other day, difficult child bit my hand. Hard. Drew blood. He was already ramped up and I made it worse by being sarcastic, and when he started in on me by screaming in my ear and making every sentence start with-"F" I lost it and spat my iced tea in his face.
Rush hr traffic, no less.
I behaved badly. So did he.
So today, after he studied for his soc studies exam, he went to a friend's house. This friend has tons of Xbox games, computer games, you name it. So of course difficult child is going to want to go over there. Every time he goes over there, it's a fight to get him out.
Except for today. difficult child called our cell ph and said, "Can you come and pick me up now?"
"Now? What's wrong?"
"We got in a fight."
We pick up difficult child.
"Nothing physical? No slugging? No fistfight?"
"No." Doubtful, we slowly pull out of the driveway, wondering if we should go in and talk to the mom.
difficult child says he bit his friend. "What's with-the biting thing?" I asked.
husband pulled out his cell and called the mom. I hear him saying he understands that difficult child and her son got into a fight over the remote or something and asking if everything is okay. I hear her voice and then husband says, "They broke a mirror?"
Then, "Well, we'll let them cool off for a wk or 2, then get them together for a movie or something on neutral territory."
To me, shoving someone into a mirror would be physical. But I keep forgetting how literal difficult child is. No fistfight. But difficult child wouldn't release the controller, friend grabbed it, difficult child shoved him against the wall/mirror, glass shattered and cut both of them (difficult child showed us his elbow), friend shoved difficult child away, and difficult child bit his hand.
Isn't biting a girl thing? A little kid thing? Obviously, with-difficult child, it's a frustration thing and an anger thing.
So, tomorrow we call the mom back, when things have calmed down, and offer to replace the mirror.
I am going to sit down with-difficult child and talk to him about how he can avoid scenes like this in the future.
In the meantime, I have to say that in a strange way, I'm kind of pleased that the friend (ex-friend?) reacted so strongly. He is 15, very shy and agreeable and stays home 24/7 because he's allergic to the sun (porphyria). He's actually got spunk! You go, kid!
Just when we get 1 or 2 behaviors under control, another one crops up.
The other day, difficult child bit my hand. Hard. Drew blood. He was already ramped up and I made it worse by being sarcastic, and when he started in on me by screaming in my ear and making every sentence start with-"F" I lost it and spat my iced tea in his face.
Rush hr traffic, no less.
I behaved badly. So did he.
So today, after he studied for his soc studies exam, he went to a friend's house. This friend has tons of Xbox games, computer games, you name it. So of course difficult child is going to want to go over there. Every time he goes over there, it's a fight to get him out.
Except for today. difficult child called our cell ph and said, "Can you come and pick me up now?"
"Now? What's wrong?"
"We got in a fight."
We pick up difficult child.
"Nothing physical? No slugging? No fistfight?"
"No." Doubtful, we slowly pull out of the driveway, wondering if we should go in and talk to the mom.
difficult child says he bit his friend. "What's with-the biting thing?" I asked.
husband pulled out his cell and called the mom. I hear him saying he understands that difficult child and her son got into a fight over the remote or something and asking if everything is okay. I hear her voice and then husband says, "They broke a mirror?"
Then, "Well, we'll let them cool off for a wk or 2, then get them together for a movie or something on neutral territory."
To me, shoving someone into a mirror would be physical. But I keep forgetting how literal difficult child is. No fistfight. But difficult child wouldn't release the controller, friend grabbed it, difficult child shoved him against the wall/mirror, glass shattered and cut both of them (difficult child showed us his elbow), friend shoved difficult child away, and difficult child bit his hand.
Isn't biting a girl thing? A little kid thing? Obviously, with-difficult child, it's a frustration thing and an anger thing.
So, tomorrow we call the mom back, when things have calmed down, and offer to replace the mirror.
I am going to sit down with-difficult child and talk to him about how he can avoid scenes like this in the future.
In the meantime, I have to say that in a strange way, I'm kind of pleased that the friend (ex-friend?) reacted so strongly. He is 15, very shy and agreeable and stays home 24/7 because he's allergic to the sun (porphyria). He's actually got spunk! You go, kid!