RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. They helped!
My first visit in 8 months is now behind me. Whew it was very tough leading up to it. I'll say that for sure. Husband and I were at each other's throats on the way. Phone GPS not working right - thought we were still in Illinois! DUH. He pretended he was not stressed but he was evidently by the way he was acting.
Anyway we got there at 1pm on the dot. We did not know we could be early and sit with him and neither did he - first visit. They were just starting the graduation of one of the students. It was in a small and crowded room. My husband saw him way in front. We got the last 2 seats in the back so my husband tapped his shoulder to let him know we were there. I waved when he turned around.
They led in with 2 Christian songs sung by their band. It was very moving. The involvement by the men was sweet. I was tearing up terribly and trying to control it but just seeing the back of my son's head put me over the top. He was wearing his dad's dress shirt.
Then they started the graduation so there were a few speakers and then the guy that was graduating got to speak and I wanted to really bawl but could not. There was not a dry eye in the place. He told his story and it hit home on so many levels. He had actually left the program at one point but then went back which they said they rarely allow. He was there a total of 18 months in an 11 month program. He thanked the staff and his family and he was so humble and could barely speak because he was so emotional the entire time. It was just so jarring. I was thinking of my son saying the words he was saying and just thinking of that made me cry. This guy had gotten addicted to drugs/pills after an injury. He had a lot of legal problems. He now said he has a different view of life and a new appreciation for all things. His father had no idea what was going on. The father was much older than us but did speak about his son who was actually adopted.
By the time that was over I had composed myself so it probably was good that the graduation was first. Our son was so happy to see us and he looked amazing. He was in a dress shirt as were all the guys. His skin was flawless and reminded me of "peaches and cream". After the graduation we had refreshments in another room and it was all homemade food and sweets. The energy there felt so positive. My son introduced us to many of the other men all in mid to late 20's and they were so kind and respectful and clean cut. They said how much they cared for our son and that we had done a great job raising him. They had only been in 4 or 5 months. He has been in the program two months. A few said he had come a long way since he got there. One said that he had talked my son out of leaving (I didn't know that thankfully).
He showed us the makeshift "car wash" and the thrift store he works at. Then we got to go into a private area to give him his gifts. He was very happy with everything and seemed appreciative. We sat and played a game and talked. He did mention wishing he could come home but said being there makes it easy to stay sober and that the longer he is sober the better chance he will have at staying sober. He said he feels like he is "missing something" and we assured him he is not. He said he prays for us every day. I told him I pray for him 24 hours a day.
I was not nervous around him. He did not seem fidgety or anxious. He seemed calm and at peace. I can't remember the last time that I saw him this way. Maybe never. It is the drugs that do these horrible things to him.
He said many of the guys are court mandated and I told him he is "parent mandated". He said there are some there like that too. He really wasn't pushing leaving or we would have cut our visit short. I had planned to warn him but did not have to thankfully. I found out he did not call because they can't call the week they have visitation.
We can see him once per month. When I left there I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders because I know that I picked the right program choice and the right location also.
So for now I have some peace but still anxious about the future.
My first visit in 8 months is now behind me. Whew it was very tough leading up to it. I'll say that for sure. Husband and I were at each other's throats on the way. Phone GPS not working right - thought we were still in Illinois! DUH. He pretended he was not stressed but he was evidently by the way he was acting.
Anyway we got there at 1pm on the dot. We did not know we could be early and sit with him and neither did he - first visit. They were just starting the graduation of one of the students. It was in a small and crowded room. My husband saw him way in front. We got the last 2 seats in the back so my husband tapped his shoulder to let him know we were there. I waved when he turned around.
They led in with 2 Christian songs sung by their band. It was very moving. The involvement by the men was sweet. I was tearing up terribly and trying to control it but just seeing the back of my son's head put me over the top. He was wearing his dad's dress shirt.
Then they started the graduation so there were a few speakers and then the guy that was graduating got to speak and I wanted to really bawl but could not. There was not a dry eye in the place. He told his story and it hit home on so many levels. He had actually left the program at one point but then went back which they said they rarely allow. He was there a total of 18 months in an 11 month program. He thanked the staff and his family and he was so humble and could barely speak because he was so emotional the entire time. It was just so jarring. I was thinking of my son saying the words he was saying and just thinking of that made me cry. This guy had gotten addicted to drugs/pills after an injury. He had a lot of legal problems. He now said he has a different view of life and a new appreciation for all things. His father had no idea what was going on. The father was much older than us but did speak about his son who was actually adopted.
By the time that was over I had composed myself so it probably was good that the graduation was first. Our son was so happy to see us and he looked amazing. He was in a dress shirt as were all the guys. His skin was flawless and reminded me of "peaches and cream". After the graduation we had refreshments in another room and it was all homemade food and sweets. The energy there felt so positive. My son introduced us to many of the other men all in mid to late 20's and they were so kind and respectful and clean cut. They said how much they cared for our son and that we had done a great job raising him. They had only been in 4 or 5 months. He has been in the program two months. A few said he had come a long way since he got there. One said that he had talked my son out of leaving (I didn't know that thankfully).
He showed us the makeshift "car wash" and the thrift store he works at. Then we got to go into a private area to give him his gifts. He was very happy with everything and seemed appreciative. We sat and played a game and talked. He did mention wishing he could come home but said being there makes it easy to stay sober and that the longer he is sober the better chance he will have at staying sober. He said he feels like he is "missing something" and we assured him he is not. He said he prays for us every day. I told him I pray for him 24 hours a day.
I was not nervous around him. He did not seem fidgety or anxious. He seemed calm and at peace. I can't remember the last time that I saw him this way. Maybe never. It is the drugs that do these horrible things to him.
He said many of the guys are court mandated and I told him he is "parent mandated". He said there are some there like that too. He really wasn't pushing leaving or we would have cut our visit short. I had planned to warn him but did not have to thankfully. I found out he did not call because they can't call the week they have visitation.
We can see him once per month. When I left there I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders because I know that I picked the right program choice and the right location also.
So for now I have some peace but still anxious about the future.
