Worried yet again

[toughlovin]

LOL.... so my son just posted on FB a picture of a saying "If someone wants to talk to you they will. Don't fall for that I am busy sh.... . It takes 3 seconds to send a text."

I was so tempted to post a reply to the effect of "OK I get the message". But I did not!! I am not saying anything just keeping quiet.... and posting here instead. And of course I haven't called him either so he must know I don't really want to talk to him either!!

 

[Kathy813]

TL, I am so sorry that you are going through this yet again. He is trying to manipulate you through Facebook. That is exactly why I don't have one. I know my daughter would have used it to hurt me and try to guilt me into doing what she wanted me to do.

Stay strong.

~Kathy

 

[mof]

Sending positive thoughts your way. I believe I too have impulse issues...so hard not to hear he's ok....even if he lies.

 

[toughlovin]

Kathy
I agree he is trying to use FB to get to me....although that post may not have been directed at me. I can tell I am in a better place though because really it just amused me....and my own reaction that I wanted to make a sarcastic come back....but then thought better of it and decided to watch but keep quiet. At least with FB I know he is alive and get a sense of how he is doing without actually having to have any contact with him.

And mof it is hard to not know how they are doing. My son was homeless and on the streets for awhile and it was horrible for me. At one point he lost his phone and so I had no idea how he was doing and no way to have any contact at all. It was awful not knowing if he was dead or alive. It is for that reason that I will keep paying for his phone because it gives me peace of mind....even if he doesn't call me I can check online to see if he is talking to others.

So at least I know he is alive and he must be doing reasonably ok because he is not calling me asking for anything and that is good.

I feel for you because I have been where you are....we have been going through this for a long time and my son has been in many rehabs....but I am finally getting to the point of really letting go.

 

[mof]

I'm sorry for your journey...I hate ours but I can't give up hope. He says he wants it, But his moods can be up and down....

We will see next Thursday the truth.....
I need to work on my coping.

 

[mof]

I'm sorry for your journey...I hate ours but I can't give up hope. He says he wants it, But his moods can be up and down....

We will see next Thursday the truth.....
I need to work on my coping.

 

[toughlovin]

Well I have not heard at all from my son. So hopefully that means he is working and finding his way. I think I would hear from him if he was desperate so I am taking this as good news. I do wonder when and if we should reach out as it would be nice to hear from him...... but I am really afraid if I do reach out he will ask me for money so I think it is still best for now to let him find his independence. I do see enough on FB to know he is alive... when I see nothing I start to worry.

 

[mof]

Worry only hurts us...hard not to live in the worry loop. No matter how concerned...it doesn't change the outcome.

We know this..yet we twist ourselves with it anyway..prayers that you have some peace this weekend.

 

[Kathy813]

TL, I think he is waiting for you to weaken and reach out to him. It will give him power. You know he is okay so I wouldn't be the one to reach out first. And when he does, I would react with a casual response.

Kathy

 

[toughlovin]

Kathy - Thanks. I think you are right. It is funny tonight my hubby came in and his cell phone rang. He looked at me and mouthed my sons name. I thought oh boy he got the call that is not a good sign my son will definitely hit him up for money as my hubby is more of a softie than I am. Then hubby voice changed it wasn't my son at all but my brother in law who just started talking and at first sounded like my son. LOL. The thing is we were both relieved it was not my son which says something. As long as I know he is ok I am ok waiting it out. Where it gets hard is if there is nothing on FB and nothing on the phone log but as long as there is something here and there I am ok. Next week I am going away with a friend and will be very busy which I am looking forward to.