HMBgal
Well-Known Member
Happy Friday. I guess. Warning: loooooong. I just found my daughter, 42 year old mother to the children I'm raising, was arrested recently. She never told me, I found out when I paid her post office box fees and got her mail. She's been applying for various benefits, so there were a ton of notices about that, denials of benefits because of missed meetings, etc. Pretty consistent with the rest of her life. Hasn't worked more than a couple days anywhere in the last two years because she can't get anywhere on time. And now I know why for certain. A boyfriend, one of her typical, sketchy types, but sweet, called me and said she was using heavily and had run off to another guy (an old, equally sketchy boyfriend) in another state.
I texted her (for the millionth time) and she actually responded. I told her I knew she was using, where she was, she was on own, I would take good care of the kids but that she has to climb out of her addiction on her own. I've been through it too many times with her and now it's her turn. But she didn't disclose the arrest at that point. I feel like I'm reliving the nightmare of days long gone (or so I thought). Her friends have been covering for her, too. I would ask her point blank if she was using and she said no with such a sincere face.
So, she's horribly embarrassed and upset, crying, sleeping, depressed. The kids thankfully haven't asked why she hasn't talked or visited with them in a couple weeks now. But she has often gone 10 days or more not answering emails, texts, and phone calls. Then she would say she's going to do better, blah, blah, blah.
My grandson (he is probably well known to some of you by now) had a horrible day at school, got triggered, took a swing at a teacher, etc. I went to pick him up from school and he asked to call his mom. I said of course he could. No answer. There never is. Then he sent a sweet text that he had a rough day at school and he could really use her help. Crickets, didn't respond. My perfect (I'm pretty sure she's as close as it gets) granddaughter sent a text right before that asking if they were going to get to see her and that she loved her. Crickets. And the father hasn't called but twice in 4 months.
I mean, what the blank is that??? I have to detach. My daughter is now homeless, we paid to get the registration on her car, paid off parking tickets (San Francisco, it's a real issue) and the insurance on the car current--$4,000! And now the insurance is due again, she's got more parking tickets, and a moving violation, and we can't pay it, and neither can she. So she will probably be car-less as well. So not sure how she will even get a job. I have no idea how this will end. Her friends are afraid she's going to die. And so am I.
The good news is that we found a great psychiatrist for my grandson, which is REALLY good news. We did the DNA testing today for drug interactions, have a bunch of appointments set up and now if the father can keep his job (he's been fired three time in the last years, so continuity of care has been a big problem), maybe this can be productive. As far as how to deal with any of this with her children, I have no flipping idea. I'm too old for this bleep.
I texted her (for the millionth time) and she actually responded. I told her I knew she was using, where she was, she was on own, I would take good care of the kids but that she has to climb out of her addiction on her own. I've been through it too many times with her and now it's her turn. But she didn't disclose the arrest at that point. I feel like I'm reliving the nightmare of days long gone (or so I thought). Her friends have been covering for her, too. I would ask her point blank if she was using and she said no with such a sincere face.
So, she's horribly embarrassed and upset, crying, sleeping, depressed. The kids thankfully haven't asked why she hasn't talked or visited with them in a couple weeks now. But she has often gone 10 days or more not answering emails, texts, and phone calls. Then she would say she's going to do better, blah, blah, blah.
My grandson (he is probably well known to some of you by now) had a horrible day at school, got triggered, took a swing at a teacher, etc. I went to pick him up from school and he asked to call his mom. I said of course he could. No answer. There never is. Then he sent a sweet text that he had a rough day at school and he could really use her help. Crickets, didn't respond. My perfect (I'm pretty sure she's as close as it gets) granddaughter sent a text right before that asking if they were going to get to see her and that she loved her. Crickets. And the father hasn't called but twice in 4 months.
I mean, what the blank is that??? I have to detach. My daughter is now homeless, we paid to get the registration on her car, paid off parking tickets (San Francisco, it's a real issue) and the insurance on the car current--$4,000! And now the insurance is due again, she's got more parking tickets, and a moving violation, and we can't pay it, and neither can she. So she will probably be car-less as well. So not sure how she will even get a job. I have no idea how this will end. Her friends are afraid she's going to die. And so am I.
The good news is that we found a great psychiatrist for my grandson, which is REALLY good news. We did the DNA testing today for drug interactions, have a bunch of appointments set up and now if the father can keep his job (he's been fired three time in the last years, so continuity of care has been a big problem), maybe this can be productive. As far as how to deal with any of this with her children, I have no flipping idea. I'm too old for this bleep.
