Thanks everyone. I may have posted it on another thread, but I do want to say that I (and wife, for the most part), have already committed to making those extremely hard choices - and soon. The only reason we're waiting is to see how McWeedy responds to the substance abuse/ADD treatment program he's starting this week before starting to lower the boom.
As I've said before, his doctor predicted last year that he would escalate his acting out to the point where we HAD to "throw him out". You'd think that would suck, but in his world that would let him get angry and indulge in a multi-year pity-party by blaming us for "abandoning" him. It may still come to that - and soon - but if it happens, it will be done in a way that he understands that the only person he can blame for his situation is himself.
If, at that point, he still ends up out of the house, then it would be by his choice, and without the anger/blame factor for him to use as justification for further acting out. In the grand scheme of things, his doctor says that leaving under those circumstances may actually force him to deal with how bad his life sucks afterwards, and seek help. If, on the other hand, we play into his game and give him both the reason to leave AND the justification to act out for the next few years, he has virtualy no reason to stop his foolishness, because his self-generated anger will sustain him long past the time when others hit bottom and realize they need help.
I happen to agree with the doctor, and won't feed his self-fulfilling prophecy any more than I have to.
But let's hope for the best. Let's hope that the specialists in this program are honest when they say they want him there, specifically because of the challenge he represents. Let's pray for their ability to reach him when nobody else can. And for me and wife, we pray that if this "last straw" doesn't help him, then we can do what must be done with love instead of anger, and knowing that there was nothing left for us to do.
Mikey
