hearts and roses
Mind Reader
back in?
Despite difficult child being out of work for almost 4 months, she's been pretty good in regards to her attitude, helping me around the house and with the dogs, respectfulness, etc.
But all this inactivity is really beginning to grate on everyone's nerves, namely between H and difficult child. He harrasses her about not having a job - I can attest to the fact that she's applied EVERYWHERE either in person or on line (I hate that on line crud) - and not paying him the insurance monthly. And I totally get it, I totally understand his frustrations. I also feel a little for difficult child and her failed efforts at finding a job. This is not the greatest time of year to be looking for a job - all the college kids are home; in a couple of weeks, that will change, but in the meantime, it's driving H crazy and now it's driving me crazy too!
The thing about difficult child is that she's a sleeper - and I don't mean 'sleeper' in the way they describe sleeper movies that are really great. I mean in the way that if she's bored or has nothing in particular to do or no particular place to be, she will sleep. Therefore, she sleeps till about 9 AM, gets up, applies for more jobs on line, schedules her interviews, grabs a coffee and then goes back to sleep. Then, she will get up at about noon, shower/dress, do any chores I've left for her, walk the dogs and go to any scheduled interviews and then head back home, go back to bed and watch tv until around 4. Then she will be cranky and get up, graze a little, get dressed and split for the evening, returning at 11 or sleeping over boyfriend's.
And then there is the issue of her room. Her room looks like a tornado went through it. I mean, clean and dirty clothes everywhere, bed unmade, closet a nightmare, just **** everywhere. I want to go into it with plastic bins and just box up stuff, gather clothes for goodwill, etc. But she's always there.
All of this DRIVES H CRAZY. Not to say that it doesn't drive me crazy, but at least I leave difficult child lists of chores to do, errands to run for me, etc. And she does them - most of the time. And if I lean on her about her room, she will tidy it up - not great, but a little. We do not give her money. Her boyfriend must give her money.
Like I said, for a while things were okay despite the lack of a job, but I think that being unemployed and just playing lazy sloth for almost 4 months is beginning to make her cranky - and attitude? Well, I can't take attitude from my kids anymore these days. I have about ZERO patience with attitude from either of them. Last night, before I got home from work, H got on difficult child about being in bed at 5PM watching tv (understandably) and difficult child got all fired up, said some harsh words back to H and left. In the car that we insure and that H just plunked out $100 to fix so she could continue her job hunt. I hate strife in the house. I especially hate when these two argue because it's just one long continuous battle. I try my hardest not to intervene, haven't in years actually. But last night I said something to difficult child about showing some gratitude to H for fixing and insuring her car while she continues her job search. Well, you would have thought I asked her to give up her first born, the wrath that came my way - ugh, via texting.
In all my practiced detachment, I think I stopped giving a hoot about anything or anyone, perhaps I am depressed, I can't tell anymore. But with easy child moving out this weekend, H will focus more on difficult child and I am not looking forward to it.
She's not drinking or drugging or being destructive. She's helpful to ME, but she needs a job - she needs to have something to keep her busy. I've suggested volunteering while she's looking as a means to get out of the house and keep busy, but she never follows through on that. She's getting lazier by the day, the more time passes with nothing to fill it, Know what I mean??
Thanks for letting me vent. I guess it's time for me to put into practice some of the old ways of doing things before I stopped caring.....
Despite difficult child being out of work for almost 4 months, she's been pretty good in regards to her attitude, helping me around the house and with the dogs, respectfulness, etc.
But all this inactivity is really beginning to grate on everyone's nerves, namely between H and difficult child. He harrasses her about not having a job - I can attest to the fact that she's applied EVERYWHERE either in person or on line (I hate that on line crud) - and not paying him the insurance monthly. And I totally get it, I totally understand his frustrations. I also feel a little for difficult child and her failed efforts at finding a job. This is not the greatest time of year to be looking for a job - all the college kids are home; in a couple of weeks, that will change, but in the meantime, it's driving H crazy and now it's driving me crazy too!
The thing about difficult child is that she's a sleeper - and I don't mean 'sleeper' in the way they describe sleeper movies that are really great. I mean in the way that if she's bored or has nothing in particular to do or no particular place to be, she will sleep. Therefore, she sleeps till about 9 AM, gets up, applies for more jobs on line, schedules her interviews, grabs a coffee and then goes back to sleep. Then, she will get up at about noon, shower/dress, do any chores I've left for her, walk the dogs and go to any scheduled interviews and then head back home, go back to bed and watch tv until around 4. Then she will be cranky and get up, graze a little, get dressed and split for the evening, returning at 11 or sleeping over boyfriend's.
And then there is the issue of her room. Her room looks like a tornado went through it. I mean, clean and dirty clothes everywhere, bed unmade, closet a nightmare, just **** everywhere. I want to go into it with plastic bins and just box up stuff, gather clothes for goodwill, etc. But she's always there.
All of this DRIVES H CRAZY. Not to say that it doesn't drive me crazy, but at least I leave difficult child lists of chores to do, errands to run for me, etc. And she does them - most of the time. And if I lean on her about her room, she will tidy it up - not great, but a little. We do not give her money. Her boyfriend must give her money.
Like I said, for a while things were okay despite the lack of a job, but I think that being unemployed and just playing lazy sloth for almost 4 months is beginning to make her cranky - and attitude? Well, I can't take attitude from my kids anymore these days. I have about ZERO patience with attitude from either of them. Last night, before I got home from work, H got on difficult child about being in bed at 5PM watching tv (understandably) and difficult child got all fired up, said some harsh words back to H and left. In the car that we insure and that H just plunked out $100 to fix so she could continue her job hunt. I hate strife in the house. I especially hate when these two argue because it's just one long continuous battle. I try my hardest not to intervene, haven't in years actually. But last night I said something to difficult child about showing some gratitude to H for fixing and insuring her car while she continues her job search. Well, you would have thought I asked her to give up her first born, the wrath that came my way - ugh, via texting.
In all my practiced detachment, I think I stopped giving a hoot about anything or anyone, perhaps I am depressed, I can't tell anymore. But with easy child moving out this weekend, H will focus more on difficult child and I am not looking forward to it.
She's not drinking or drugging or being destructive. She's helpful to ME, but she needs a job - she needs to have something to keep her busy. I've suggested volunteering while she's looking as a means to get out of the house and keep busy, but she never follows through on that. She's getting lazier by the day, the more time passes with nothing to fill it, Know what I mean??
Thanks for letting me vent. I guess it's time for me to put into practice some of the old ways of doing things before I stopped caring.....
