I also am sending many hugs. As far as her being on her own at 18, in NY State you are responsible for your kid til they are 21. We kicked out our dtr at age 18 but this meant that when she went to DSS for help as far as shelter and food, etc., they called me and said they would take us to court to sue for child support. The loophole was that they said we could have very strict rules she would have to abide by--we could provide the very minimum and have a curfew, etc. for her. Well, when she heard that she decided she definitely didn't want to live at home so then it was her choice to leave rather than us kicking her out. DSS agreed to work with us on how much financial support we would provide for her but we were definitely required to support her.
I am amazed at how little help you seem to have received, I think my county is better. We had our dtr on a PINS and while she violated it blatantly it was a way to document her truancy from school, her not coming home at night, her getting drunk and being hospitalized, etc. Also, we were not the "bad guys"--we told her it was against the law for someone under age 18 to be doing all these things and it was going to catch up with her eventually. And it did-she was arrested and sent to juvie and from there to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC).
I think you have gotten some great advice here, just wanted to point out that in our state we can't just kick a kid out at 18. My dtr is now 20 but lives in another state so we are off the hook but the good citizens of Washington are now responsible for her--she is receiving services there.
Jane
I am amazed at how little help you seem to have received, I think my county is better. We had our dtr on a PINS and while she violated it blatantly it was a way to document her truancy from school, her not coming home at night, her getting drunk and being hospitalized, etc. Also, we were not the "bad guys"--we told her it was against the law for someone under age 18 to be doing all these things and it was going to catch up with her eventually. And it did-she was arrested and sent to juvie and from there to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC).
I think you have gotten some great advice here, just wanted to point out that in our state we can't just kick a kid out at 18. My dtr is now 20 but lives in another state so we are off the hook but the good citizens of Washington are now responsible for her--she is receiving services there.
Jane
B
bran155
Guest
I just want to say thanks for all the support and words of wisdom. It means alot to be able to hear from others who are either going through or have been through what I am dealing with. So thank you so much for that!! 
Two days later...... and no phone call from anyone who is supposed to be "on my side". My daughter has been okay for the past 2 days, minimal cursing, no rages, but my bathroom is a disgusting mess!!!!
Janebrain: Thanks for your response. Isn't it ridiculous that in our state my daughter can sign herself out of a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but I am still legally responsible for her. If that is the case I should then be able to force her to stay in residential placement. A friend of mine told me that I was responsible until she is 21 but I wasn't sure if that was true. Good to know. I am still in arrears with the child support I am paying the state for putting her in her last Residential Treatment Center (RTC). The law needs to change, if we as parents are legally responsible for our children until the age of 21, then we as responsible parents should be able to force our children to get the help they desperately need. Well, I guess I have 4 more years of this craziness. Dont get me wrong, it is not my wish to have to put my daughter out, but I would like that option if the chaos gets to be too much for my younger child.
Thanks again everyone for your kind words and show of support. I will keep you all posted with what is going on in my crazy life. God bless
Two days later...... and no phone call from anyone who is supposed to be "on my side". My daughter has been okay for the past 2 days, minimal cursing, no rages, but my bathroom is a disgusting mess!!!!
Janebrain: Thanks for your response. Isn't it ridiculous that in our state my daughter can sign herself out of a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but I am still legally responsible for her. If that is the case I should then be able to force her to stay in residential placement. A friend of mine told me that I was responsible until she is 21 but I wasn't sure if that was true. Good to know. I am still in arrears with the child support I am paying the state for putting her in her last Residential Treatment Center (RTC). The law needs to change, if we as parents are legally responsible for our children until the age of 21, then we as responsible parents should be able to force our children to get the help they desperately need. Well, I guess I have 4 more years of this craziness. Dont get me wrong, it is not my wish to have to put my daughter out, but I would like that option if the chaos gets to be too much for my younger child.
Thanks again everyone for your kind words and show of support. I will keep you all posted with what is going on in my crazy life. God bless
