BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I have another question. Any mood problems or substance abuse on the family tree? How was her early development? You may want to do a signature like I did before.
5 yr old daughter's behavior changed overnight.
- Thread starter almostcrazy
- Start date
smallworld
Moderator
MWM,
Here's almostcrazy's answer about her daughter's anxiety and family history:
PANDAs has been studied extensively at NIMH in Bethesda, Maryland. My guess is that it's ONLY diagnosed in the United States. Generally, these children have pre-existing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but when they get a strep infection, they experience a dramatic, overnight increase in their Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) symptoms. That certainly seems to be a possibility here and one that needs checking out. The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) brought on by strep is treated exactly how garden-variety Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is treated -- with SSRIs and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Obviously, this mom needs to consult with a child psychiatrist, the sooner, the better because her daughter's symptoms are so severe.
by the way, a strep test will be negative at this point if the child has been on antibiotics for several days.
Here's almostcrazy's answer about her daughter's anxiety and family history:
PANDAs has been studied extensively at NIMH in Bethesda, Maryland. My guess is that it's ONLY diagnosed in the United States. Generally, these children have pre-existing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but when they get a strep infection, they experience a dramatic, overnight increase in their Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) symptoms. That certainly seems to be a possibility here and one that needs checking out. The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) brought on by strep is treated exactly how garden-variety Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is treated -- with SSRIs and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Obviously, this mom needs to consult with a child psychiatrist, the sooner, the better because her daughter's symptoms are so severe.
by the way, a strep test will be negative at this point if the child has been on antibiotics for several days.
busywend
Well-Known Member
Welcome! You have been given good advice - I am guessing you will be speaking to your pediatrician about PANDAS today.
Is your daughter asking for the pacifier still? If not, forget about it. But, if she is asking for it - you could tell her you will return it only at night or at specific rest periods. See how she does - if all this stops than you will make the best call. She certainly will not go to college with it. Not the end of the world if she has to keep it longer than most kids.
Is your daughter asking for the pacifier still? If not, forget about it. But, if she is asking for it - you could tell her you will return it only at night or at specific rest periods. See how she does - if all this stops than you will make the best call. She certainly will not go to college with it. Not the end of the world if she has to keep it longer than most kids.
Marguerite
Active Member
Welcome. Sorry you needed us, but we're here.
You need her seen URGENTLY by someone who knows what they're doing and can work with your serious concerns. And they ARE serious.
I don't know anything about PANDA or anything like that, but I am concerned for a number of BIG reasons:
1) Her behaviour changed suddenly, but it seems very much out of character for her. It's like the psychological equivalent of suddenly getting a bad chest infection and constantly coughing. Would you punish your child for coughing? I do think something is suddenly seriously wrong, and she really can't help it. She's scared too.
2) She's claiming her thoughts are telling her to say these things. This is NOT NORMAL. Children are not automatically bad. She's suddenly started saying things apparently totally out of character.
3) You reacted out of hurt, thinking that she had some control over this and you tried some well-known discipline techniques. This has not worked in the slightest. As a rule, when discipline is not working at all, there are a small number of reasons:
a) the child cannot control their actions;
b) the child does not know what they are doing is wrong and cannot connect their misbehaviour with the punishment
c) the compulsion to misbehave or the impulsivity cannot be prevented, no matter how highly motivated the child is.
And when discipline isn't working, then don't do it because all it does is demonstrate your powerlessness - very damaging to your status as parent.
You took away her pacifier and from what you say, this would HIGHLY motivate her to 'behave'. But she can't.
Something is badly wrong and the sooner you can find out and try to get the problem stopped or reversed, the better off SHE will be. If this continues too long, the new behaviour patterns become harder to change.
My thoughts - I do not think she has much, if any, control over what she is saying. Nor do I think punishing her is working.
You have had your feelings hurt by this but this goes way beyond your hurt feelings. She is ill, somewhere and somehow. Ignore the hurt (which I suspect you've already worked out) and stop punishing her. Try to prevent, rather than punish. Prevention involves not setting her up for failure, such as by asking (or prompting) her to say, "I love you" or "Happy Birthday". I suspect you're also testing the water a bit each day, to see if the problem is still evident. If you're saying, "I love you," in order to get a response, then stop expecting or insisting on the positive response. Do not let a negative response from her produce a negative response in you. If she replies with, "I don't love you, I hate you," then simply say, "then it's a good thing for you that I love you no matter what." And leave it at that. Keep gently prompting the please and thank you, as if to a baby (ie don't insist on the response you want). Remind, but don't insist. Tell her it's a matter of appropriate social interaction, it doesn't have to be coming from her feelings. It's simply good practice to say please and thank you, because then she's more likely to be given what she wants by people who don't understand her as well as you do.
But definitely, STOP PUNISHING. I understand why you did what you did in the beginning - I think any of us would have done the same - but this does not sound like a child being deliberately rude, mean or naughty.
Somewhere in there is a very frightened little girl, probably also feeling very alone with some very frightening thoughts. Give her what comfort you can (that she will take from you) and get her to someone who can help, as fast as possible. Yesterday, for preference.
Good luck. Let us know how you get on. This sounds very frightening for you.
Marg
You need her seen URGENTLY by someone who knows what they're doing and can work with your serious concerns. And they ARE serious.
I don't know anything about PANDA or anything like that, but I am concerned for a number of BIG reasons:
1) Her behaviour changed suddenly, but it seems very much out of character for her. It's like the psychological equivalent of suddenly getting a bad chest infection and constantly coughing. Would you punish your child for coughing? I do think something is suddenly seriously wrong, and she really can't help it. She's scared too.
2) She's claiming her thoughts are telling her to say these things. This is NOT NORMAL. Children are not automatically bad. She's suddenly started saying things apparently totally out of character.
3) You reacted out of hurt, thinking that she had some control over this and you tried some well-known discipline techniques. This has not worked in the slightest. As a rule, when discipline is not working at all, there are a small number of reasons:
a) the child cannot control their actions;
b) the child does not know what they are doing is wrong and cannot connect their misbehaviour with the punishment
c) the compulsion to misbehave or the impulsivity cannot be prevented, no matter how highly motivated the child is.
And when discipline isn't working, then don't do it because all it does is demonstrate your powerlessness - very damaging to your status as parent.
You took away her pacifier and from what you say, this would HIGHLY motivate her to 'behave'. But she can't.
Something is badly wrong and the sooner you can find out and try to get the problem stopped or reversed, the better off SHE will be. If this continues too long, the new behaviour patterns become harder to change.
My thoughts - I do not think she has much, if any, control over what she is saying. Nor do I think punishing her is working.
You have had your feelings hurt by this but this goes way beyond your hurt feelings. She is ill, somewhere and somehow. Ignore the hurt (which I suspect you've already worked out) and stop punishing her. Try to prevent, rather than punish. Prevention involves not setting her up for failure, such as by asking (or prompting) her to say, "I love you" or "Happy Birthday". I suspect you're also testing the water a bit each day, to see if the problem is still evident. If you're saying, "I love you," in order to get a response, then stop expecting or insisting on the positive response. Do not let a negative response from her produce a negative response in you. If she replies with, "I don't love you, I hate you," then simply say, "then it's a good thing for you that I love you no matter what." And leave it at that. Keep gently prompting the please and thank you, as if to a baby (ie don't insist on the response you want). Remind, but don't insist. Tell her it's a matter of appropriate social interaction, it doesn't have to be coming from her feelings. It's simply good practice to say please and thank you, because then she's more likely to be given what she wants by people who don't understand her as well as you do.
But definitely, STOP PUNISHING. I understand why you did what you did in the beginning - I think any of us would have done the same - but this does not sound like a child being deliberately rude, mean or naughty.
Somewhere in there is a very frightened little girl, probably also feeling very alone with some very frightening thoughts. Give her what comfort you can (that she will take from you) and get her to someone who can help, as fast as possible. Yesterday, for preference.
Good luck. Let us know how you get on. This sounds very frightening for you.
Marg
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Wow. With that psychiatric history, I'd say it could be anything. Maybe some infection did trigger a psychiatric disorder. If there is no active infection...not sure how you can diagnose PANDAS. But for sure I'd still see the pediatrician for all sorts of testing and then a Child Psychiatrist (with the MD). My oldest son has SEVERE Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)--at one point he dropped out of college because he couldn't stop counting the words that his professors were saying so that he couldn't concentrate on anything else. He was not able to talk to anyone without mentally counting words, syllables, etc. He is also a VERY high anxiety person--see his medications. SSRIs did NOT help his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) although cognitive therapy as helped a bit. He is still very high anxiety, and it has affected his ability to get ahead in his job). I strongly suspect mild Aspergers because he has a serious social phobia too, and has always been precociously bright, but who knows? He DID get married and is expecting a child (I swear, I hope the baby doesn't get OUR family genes!!!) Back to the poster's child.
With the early symptoms, this child isn't just now experiencing trouble; she always had issues. I'd want a neuropsychologist exam as well as seeing a Psychiatrist because, in my opinion, this is a complicated kid and the right answer/diagnosis may take a little brainstorming and more than one opinion. I'd hate to see her on the wrong medications--we had experience with wrong diagnosis. and tons of wrong medications--in my opinion, it's always best to get a lot of opinions from the best of experts (Psychiatrists and NeuroPsychs). Good luck.
With the early symptoms, this child isn't just now experiencing trouble; she always had issues. I'd want a neuropsychologist exam as well as seeing a Psychiatrist because, in my opinion, this is a complicated kid and the right answer/diagnosis may take a little brainstorming and more than one opinion. I'd hate to see her on the wrong medications--we had experience with wrong diagnosis. and tons of wrong medications--in my opinion, it's always best to get a lot of opinions from the best of experts (Psychiatrists and NeuroPsychs). Good luck.
DDD
Well-Known Member
You've been given great advice. I would add that regarding the
pacifier this is exactly what I would do. I would sit down with
my child and say "I'm sorry that you are not feeling happy this
week. Mommy is going to try to find a way where you will be
better soon. I am giving your pacifier back to you because I
want you to feel better. I love you." Period. Done. Then let
her relax before you get her into the specialist ASAP.
You've done a great job of trying to find help for your sweet
girl. You are showing signs of becoming one of us..lol. We call
these crisis moments as times when you have to put on a Warrior
Mom suit and fight the world to find help (politely but firmly).
You're doing great. You have a new goal or mission. Set your
sights and go at it! Hugs. DDD
pacifier this is exactly what I would do. I would sit down with
my child and say "I'm sorry that you are not feeling happy this
week. Mommy is going to try to find a way where you will be
better soon. I am giving your pacifier back to you because I
want you to feel better. I love you." Period. Done. Then let
her relax before you get her into the specialist ASAP.
You've done a great job of trying to find help for your sweet
girl. You are showing signs of becoming one of us..lol. We call
these crisis moments as times when you have to put on a Warrior
Mom suit and fight the world to find help (politely but firmly).
You're doing great. You have a new goal or mission. Set your
sights and go at it! Hugs. DDD
Here's some info on P.A.N.D.A.S.
http://intramural.nimh.nih.gov/pdn/web.htm
My son was tested for this but it came out negative. His symptoms were always present to some degree though - they didn't have a sudden onset and his symptoms were more like tourette's than Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). He still has periods of ups and downs so they are thinking it's probably a cyclic mood disorder.
Your daughter's sudden extreme change in behavior and intrusive thoughts really sounds like PANDAS to me. I also would go to the pediatrician for a strep test and treat her behavior as symptomatic of a physical problem not a discipline issue.
Hope you find some answers soon.
http://intramural.nimh.nih.gov/pdn/web.htm
My son was tested for this but it came out negative. His symptoms were always present to some degree though - they didn't have a sudden onset and his symptoms were more like tourette's than Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). He still has periods of ups and downs so they are thinking it's probably a cyclic mood disorder.
Your daughter's sudden extreme change in behavior and intrusive thoughts really sounds like PANDAS to me. I also would go to the pediatrician for a strep test and treat her behavior as symptomatic of a physical problem not a discipline issue.
Hope you find some answers soon.
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Hi, and welcome to the board. So glad you found us!
I agree with-the idea that it could be PANDAs, especially because of the sudden onset. You've gotten some great advice and ideas here. Wish I could add something, but I'll just send support and wishes for strength. {{{cyberhugs}}}
I agree with-the idea that it could be PANDAs, especially because of the sudden onset. You've gotten some great advice and ideas here. Wish I could add something, but I'll just send support and wishes for strength. {{{cyberhugs}}}
I know how hurt her behavior has led you to feel. But you are the Mommy. Your job is to ignore the hurt and help her. You used regular discipline, which any of us would have done, but it failed. Time to try some different techniques. And to get professional ) work closely with the psychologists, neuropsychs, etc.... This is what you want.
As far as the pacifier, she needs it. She can't help her behavior any more than she could help a sneeze or wheeze. If she feels she "wins", so what? I think she will just feel relief. Remember, she is only 5. Consequences only relate to the behavior for a short period of time.
Good Luck and Keep us posted.
by the way, was she with any caregiver other than yourself the day or 2 before this started? If so, maybe you need to investigate how they interacted.
Hugs,
Susie
As far as the pacifier, she needs it. She can't help her behavior any more than she could help a sneeze or wheeze. If she feels she "wins", so what? I think she will just feel relief. Remember, she is only 5. Consequences only relate to the behavior for a short period of time.
Good Luck and Keep us posted.
by the way, was she with any caregiver other than yourself the day or 2 before this started? If so, maybe you need to investigate how they interacted.
Hugs,
Susie
smallworld
Moderator
Almostcrazy, how are things going today?
almostcrazy
New Member
Thank to all of you for your responses, and the great info. I am still not up on all of the abbreviations so for now I'll use the long way. I called my daughter's Dr. this morning and we went today to have a blood test for strep, and to be repeated in 2 weeks. I have given her back her pacifier, and it has helped calm her. She still is telling me everything, and I am "M" at least now, and dad is "D". She had one great tantrum at the lab and we finally calmed her down enough to get the test completed.
I have also realized that she did have more Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies before this major overnight change, but I just thought she was just being a kid. I really hope that it is PANDAS, not because it is anything I would wish on anyone, but it is treatable and I was thinking the worst. The unknowing and the feelings of complete helplessness, are horrible. If it is not PANDAS, I will be starting over, but with a lot more knowledge under my belt. Do children with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) usually have another illness such as ADHD? I have always thought that she had ADHD. She has always been on the go, as if she couldn't stop. She can't pay attention, and switches gears so fast that you can't complete one game before starting the next.
I wish you all the best of luck. This is a wonderful site that you have developed. You gave me more information in 1 day than, doctors, books, and my own research have produced in 2 weeks.
Thanks again,
Hugs to all
I wouldn't be too sure of that. When my son was 5 he had a yeast infection under his foreskin (he's uncircumcised) from the antibiotics he took trying (unsuccessfully) to treat and/or prevent ear infections. If a boy could get a yeast infection seems logical a girl could. But then, the doctor missed the diagnosis and insisted he was masturbating.
Fortunately the nurse listened to me and told me when the doctor wasn't around to go get a tube of Monistat which had just gone OTC less than a month earlier. That's what I wanted, I just hadn't realized it was OTCalmostcrazy
New Member
I got the book everyone reccomended. I'll start that tonight. I got her in for a blood test for strep today, and she will be retested in 2 weeks. It was not an easy task at the lab. She thru one heck of a tantrum, but we got it done. I gave her back the pacifier, and she seems calmer now. She repeating phrases, and telling me everything. She seems happy otherwise. I am furious at this point with the doctor not picking up on the signs. When I talked to them today I was very blunt about what I wanted done. They responded very quickly. If she tests possitive for strep we will consult a neuro, a psychiatrist, and her medical doctor to get her the help she needs. I am researching PANDAS to see if there is anymore info to be gained.
thank you sooooo much.
Hugs
almostcrazy
New Member
She is calmer now with the pacifier. She seems happier and a little more able to cope. She is still repeating phrases, and refusing to say things, but I do have hope now that we can get help.
Thanks, and my best to you.
Thanks, and my best to you.
almostcrazy
New Member
I wasn't to sure about that either, because it looked like yeast to me, and the antifungal did clear it up.
Thank you for the information. If you talk to 5 different doctors you'll get 5 different opinions. You would think they would all have to learn the same things, if they are in the same field.
Thank you for the information. If you talk to 5 different doctors you'll get 5 different opinions. You would think they would all have to learn the same things, if they are in the same field.
Big Bad Kitty
lolcat
Remember, you are your child's best advocate. Being assertive is the key, and it sounds like you got it.
Not only can you get 5 different responses from 5 different doctors, you will get 5 different parenting styles from 5 different mommies. You do what is comfortable for you and what works with your family.
This board is a "take what you need and leave the rest" board. If you can use it, use it. If it does not pertain to you, file it away in the back of your head somewhere. You may need it sometime...
Keep us updated, we all want to know what happens!
hugs and prayers
Not only can you get 5 different responses from 5 different doctors, you will get 5 different parenting styles from 5 different mommies. You do what is comfortable for you and what works with your family.
This board is a "take what you need and leave the rest" board. If you can use it, use it. If it does not pertain to you, file it away in the back of your head somewhere. You may need it sometime...
Keep us updated, we all want to know what happens!
hugs and prayers
smallworld
Moderator
Sara and Almostcrazy, I was referring to the kind of vaginal yeast infections women get when they take antibiotics. The kind of yeast infections you're describing most assuredly can occur before puberty. Sorry for the confusion.
Marguerite
Active Member
On the subject of thrush/yeast/candida:
Smallworld, there still could be a lot of room for confusion - I hear so many different theories. My kids (especially the older ones) were long day care kids from 14 weeks old, we had doctors & nurses and uni lecturers among the other parents. We had thrush infections among the babies at times, plus other infections. Some of these excluded the kids; some didn't. I do remember, though, that the consensus was that if the mother has ever had a vaginal yeast infection before or during the pregnancy, the baby is most likely to have been infected with spores at birth. At some later stage, perhaps when teething, and the baby's immune system mildly compromised, the baby is likely to get some level of yeast infection outgrowth. Basically, it has become part of the baby's normal skin flora/fauna and that this is how it gets passed on. We treat it and it goes dormant (gets 'knocked down' but not out).
The thing is, when girls hit puberty their body changes in such a way that vaginal yeast infections can suddenly become a real problem - their bodies now provide some really ideal conditions. sister in law had huge problems from puberty, I had none until after I married. And even though we've treated both me and husband at the same time, I still get them under certain highly specific conditions.
I used to be told (by my mother) that vaginal yeast infections are venereally contracted. As a result, I would never tell my mother ANYTHING that could let her think I had a yeast infection - I couldn't talk about anything like that, not even if a friend had thrush. I knew she was wrong but her paranoia over premarital sex would have had her locking me in a tower for the rest of my life. I'd never have heard the end of it.
Babies can often get yeast infections (the same old culprit, Candida albicans) in the mouth, as well as the lower GI tract (hence some nastier-type nappy rashes, especially where the skin breaks down a bit). We used to treat the nappy rash believed to be thrush with monistat or similar (and it cleared up pronto) and the mouth would get nystatin. In fact, it was treatment for thrush with nystatin when she was seven months old that confirmed easy child had a food colouring sensitivity - the only liquid treatment contained tartrazine and we had to switch to using lozenges which I crushed up and mixed with her rice cereal. That's how come I remember.
Almostcrazy, I'm glad you're feeling more secure with information. Glad we could help. What you get here on this site is some distilled experience and brainpower of other Warrior Mums. This now includes you, since you have your own experience.
About the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and other conditions - yes, there are a number of conditions where Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) symptoms can be really apparent. We get it with the three younger kids. I don't think easy child has much Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) if any. The others - definitely. For us it shows up in food faddishness; in an attachment to or avoidance of certain textures; in easy child 1 pacing the house to repeatedly check if he's turned off lights/packed everything he needs/locked doors & windows etc. Round and round and round... and in our family, it's part of the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) profile. Autism & Asperger's, in our case. The pediatrician has increased difficult child 1's Zoloft again, to try to reduce the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for him.
Also, you don't need to do a separate message for each person you're replying to - they all get added to the end of the thread, in order of reply being written. If you want to acknowledge people individually, just use their name or their sig at the beginning of a paragraph. To see some examples of how this works, look at the "Good Morning..." threads for each day, a lot of us do it that way. It's easier on you, you don't have to repeat yourself. And with all you're dealing with, you need to cut back wherever you can! Or if you want to communicate purely on a personal level, send a PM (private message) to that person. None of the rest of us can see a PM not intended for us.
Give her lots of unconditional love and some space. I'm wondering, also - could her thoughts be telling her that if she doesn't tell you she hates you, if she doesn't convince *something* that she doesn't care about you, if she stops using your names, that you'll be safe from some unnamed fate she dreads? And of course, if she tells you about it, she's scared that would undo all the protection she's trying to give you?
Thoughts can be cruel things in what they convince us to do or say.
For my mother in law it's a bit the other way - she gets premonitions and finally worked out for herself some years ago that if she tells the person about her premonition, it's far less likely to actually happen. I know, I know... but it helps her feel safer, helps her feel she's keeping us all safe. So we listen - and maybe it does make us a little more careful when we see a white Holden Commodore... who knows?
Marg
Smallworld, there still could be a lot of room for confusion - I hear so many different theories. My kids (especially the older ones) were long day care kids from 14 weeks old, we had doctors & nurses and uni lecturers among the other parents. We had thrush infections among the babies at times, plus other infections. Some of these excluded the kids; some didn't. I do remember, though, that the consensus was that if the mother has ever had a vaginal yeast infection before or during the pregnancy, the baby is most likely to have been infected with spores at birth. At some later stage, perhaps when teething, and the baby's immune system mildly compromised, the baby is likely to get some level of yeast infection outgrowth. Basically, it has become part of the baby's normal skin flora/fauna and that this is how it gets passed on. We treat it and it goes dormant (gets 'knocked down' but not out).
The thing is, when girls hit puberty their body changes in such a way that vaginal yeast infections can suddenly become a real problem - their bodies now provide some really ideal conditions. sister in law had huge problems from puberty, I had none until after I married. And even though we've treated both me and husband at the same time, I still get them under certain highly specific conditions.
I used to be told (by my mother) that vaginal yeast infections are venereally contracted. As a result, I would never tell my mother ANYTHING that could let her think I had a yeast infection - I couldn't talk about anything like that, not even if a friend had thrush. I knew she was wrong but her paranoia over premarital sex would have had her locking me in a tower for the rest of my life. I'd never have heard the end of it.
Babies can often get yeast infections (the same old culprit, Candida albicans) in the mouth, as well as the lower GI tract (hence some nastier-type nappy rashes, especially where the skin breaks down a bit). We used to treat the nappy rash believed to be thrush with monistat or similar (and it cleared up pronto) and the mouth would get nystatin. In fact, it was treatment for thrush with nystatin when she was seven months old that confirmed easy child had a food colouring sensitivity - the only liquid treatment contained tartrazine and we had to switch to using lozenges which I crushed up and mixed with her rice cereal. That's how come I remember.
Almostcrazy, I'm glad you're feeling more secure with information. Glad we could help. What you get here on this site is some distilled experience and brainpower of other Warrior Mums. This now includes you, since you have your own experience.
About the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and other conditions - yes, there are a number of conditions where Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) symptoms can be really apparent. We get it with the three younger kids. I don't think easy child has much Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) if any. The others - definitely. For us it shows up in food faddishness; in an attachment to or avoidance of certain textures; in easy child 1 pacing the house to repeatedly check if he's turned off lights/packed everything he needs/locked doors & windows etc. Round and round and round... and in our family, it's part of the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) profile. Autism & Asperger's, in our case. The pediatrician has increased difficult child 1's Zoloft again, to try to reduce the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for him.
Also, you don't need to do a separate message for each person you're replying to - they all get added to the end of the thread, in order of reply being written. If you want to acknowledge people individually, just use their name or their sig at the beginning of a paragraph. To see some examples of how this works, look at the "Good Morning..." threads for each day, a lot of us do it that way. It's easier on you, you don't have to repeat yourself. And with all you're dealing with, you need to cut back wherever you can! Or if you want to communicate purely on a personal level, send a PM (private message) to that person. None of the rest of us can see a PM not intended for us.
Give her lots of unconditional love and some space. I'm wondering, also - could her thoughts be telling her that if she doesn't tell you she hates you, if she doesn't convince *something* that she doesn't care about you, if she stops using your names, that you'll be safe from some unnamed fate she dreads? And of course, if she tells you about it, she's scared that would undo all the protection she's trying to give you?
Thoughts can be cruel things in what they convince us to do or say.
For my mother in law it's a bit the other way - she gets premonitions and finally worked out for herself some years ago that if she tells the person about her premonition, it's far less likely to actually happen. I know, I know... but it helps her feel safer, helps her feel she's keeping us all safe. So we listen - and maybe it does make us a little more careful when we see a white Holden Commodore... who knows?
Marg
almostcrazy
New Member
Hi Smallworld,
I didn't mean to offend. I am so confused right now I don't know who I am most of the time. I meant to imply the doctors' were the idiots most of the time. I really appreciate your imput. Your information has helped a great deal. What shocked me was that I didn't know that you could have strep in the vaginal area. As I said I have had strep so much that antibiotics stopped working all together for me.
Again thanks for all of the info.
almostcrazy
New Member
Marguerite- Thank you for the help with anvigating and using this site. I am not as up to date on computers as I should be. I have never been involved in any kind of chat forum, and I am completely lost. If I post a new topic, and 5 people answer, then I just write 1 response correct as a Quick Reply? In this reply I just address each person correct? Any other site tips?
My daughter seems more calm with the pacifier back now, but she is still developing new and more severe compulsions. Tonight she started having trouble touching things. We were looking at a library book, and she would say I can't touch it my hands are yucky (sweaty I think). She would wipe her hands against her clothing. Then she started with she didn't want her feet to touch the sheets. She cries and holds her head. I comfort her the best I can, but she is never relieved. The hardest part for me is when she is telling me something she did (that she knows she shouldn't do), and then says I think I did it on purpose but i'm not sure. She believes we are angry when we are not.
I hope with the blood work we can start to help her. I have always been able to fix things for her, and I feel so helpless.
Hugs to you.
