A bit taken back - maybe a slap in the face....

[timer lady]

I'm not quite sure.

Two weeks ago my physiatrist suggested a financial POA ~ that's hard to take because my prior profession had been accounting. I'm swallowing that & will be meeting with my brother, sister in law & an attorney to take care of this matter.

I had an appointment with my therapist a week ago today; I began discussing this situation & how the change in my insurance policy to now have medications mail ordered & am having trouble keeping up with that. She then asked me very pertinent questions that suggested that I'm off my nut. Just a bit.

I answered every question very honestly & that landed me into an assessment for a partial hospitalization program. Well, I've been assessed & the recommendation was for possible day treatment. Oh, no.....not going there & I told them that. My difficult child children attend day treatment - I'm not at that point & never will be.

I've spent years & years advocating for my difficult children, attending to my sudden brain injury & watching my husband die. Do you guys do shock treatment? You never want to joke about those things - mental health providers apparently have no sense of humor.

However, I did suggest to assessment person (not a therapist or psychiatrist) that quite possibly the emotional loss of my mother, my health & then my husband have not helped things. Add in the tweedles & all bets are off. I suggested family therapy with kt & wm with them on the "hot seat" for once.

There's been a very eerie silence since then other than a call from my GP wanting to see me ~ that's tomorrow. I feel a bit paranoid, like the wagons are beginning to surround me. (by the way, there was no diagnosis of paranoia that I've been told).

Wish me luck - this should be a fun week ahead.

 

[klmno]

TL, I can see where all this would have you frazzled- it would have me a bit nervous, too. Are you close enough to your family, and I mean in a way where they talk to you often enough to more accurately gage what areas you are struggling with and what areas you are still functioning fine without the need of help in, to let them gegt involved a bit in some of these appointments? I'm thinking it might help you if someone else was there, who knows you well, to tell a dr/therapist/evaluator that you are handling things with the tweedles appropriately, or whateever, because it probably is normal for some of these people to question things like that if they don't know you well and are just there to assess the situation.

Just like when some evaluator started wondering if I was paranoid with fear of difficult child going to my bro- it would have helped a great deal if someone who knew first hand that I had been threatened by previous GAL for 3 years about this could have told the valuator so they would know that it wasn't an irrational fear or paranoia. As it turns out, they figured that out but it took a lot longer than it would have otherwise.

 

[DDD]

I'm sorry that the stress keeps mounting, Linda. Obviously only you can judge the next best step. on the other hand, I can't see how include the children would be of any benefit to you. I know that I haven't walked in your shoes so perhaps my opinion may be seen as off target. If so, I apologize. Like many family members here my concern at this time is solely what would make you less anxious about your new lifestyle. Concentrating on you seems to be the best idea.
As always I am sending caring thoughts and prayers your way. DDD

 

[totoro]

Oh TL- I know you have have gone through so much and there is no way for any one to gauge any of that. How could it not make you paranoid? If you are too honest they might take it the wrong way, if you hold back too much then you are in denial. No win situation. For women it is worse studies have shown - we have to calculate every move we make when it comes to health care and our mental health-
I am so sorry. You don't need any of the extra burden right now this is supposed to be helping you.

 

[KTMom91]

Linda, I'm so sorry. Hopefully the appointment with the GP will straighten things out with the assessment person. Sending many hugs.

 

[Wiped Out]

(((hugs)))

 

[barneysmom]

Hi Linda,

If someone suggested to me that I needed day treatment, I would jump at the chance. It would be a time where I could just look at MY issues and think about ME.

"quite possibly the emotional loss of my mother, my health & then my husband have not helped things. Add in the tweedles & all bets are off."

This is bunches of loss. Taking a concentrated look at it in day treatment could mean a big difference in your mental health, for the rest of your life.

Parts of it will undoubtedly be yucky but undoubtedly, liberating. I think you even might like it.

Just my thoughts. xxooxo

P.S. You probably already know in your heart whether this would be good for you or not. You already know the answer.

And I wouldn't involve the kids. Make it about Linda for once. This is happening for a reason. Maybe a gift for you, after all you have done for others.

 

[busywend]

TL, I am sorry you are feeling paranoid about the intentions of those that are/were on your team. Can't they recommend some in-patient at some resort or spa? You really could use some pampering girl! But, if you can not get that, not sure what their goals are with day treatment. Perhaps find out what they are trying to accomplish.
I guess the optimist in me is saying they are worried about you and want to help. Perhaps they see changes you do not see yet.

 

[Fran]

I would imagine, that going through what some of us have gone through with our difficult child's, illness, and a dramatic life(as you have TL) that our point of view would be a little left of center. It's not against the law and it's not hurtful. If they feel you judgment regarding finances is a little fuzzy maybe it is in your best interest to listen.
I'm not sure why they feel you need day treatment? Do you think they are working under an assumption that you are not thinking clearly? It's a little confusing.
You seem like you are functioning and writing clearly. What would make them think otherwise?

 

[DammitJanet]

Linda...I keep having dreams...no nightmares...where the cops come to take me to the psychiatric hospital. It doesnt help that all we are doing here is arguing and throwing out the crazy word multiple times a week. One day my therapist let it slip to me that she had never worried about me before but she was getting mighty close now to wondering if I needed inpatient care. This was about a month or so ago. Not 3 or 4 days later a cop showed up in my yard. I was so scared!

I can imagine you are feeling about that way. Just the thought of going into a place like our kids go isnt something we want to deal with, or hear. I dealt with a ton of misinformation when I got out of the rehab hospital. People assumed when they heard "rehab" I was in some place for drugs... um...No! Physical rehab. I think the one that astounded me the most was Tony's boss who knew I was in the regular hospital sick and then was sent somewhere else...and even he thought I was sent for drugs!

 

[barneysmom]

Linda, how's it going? How was the appointment with your GP (if you care to talk about it)?

Sending my best

 

[timer lady]

I'm sorry it's taken so long to get back to you all.....I appreciate all the support & thoughts.

Fran, my written language skills are fine ~ the spoken is another story. There are days when I'm beyond confused about ADLs yet seem on top of other things. There's been some concern over executive functioning - again on bad days.

Saying all that, GP straightened things out a bit. My therapist was going the wrong direction. GP (with neuro doctor's blessing) is sending me to the local brain injury care clinic. I'll have a new neuro psychiatric test to sort out the organic issues from anything else (like stress). The intensive rehab I never got 3 years ago when this first happened.

I'm waiting for a return call from the intake nurse. Again, thank you all.

 

[klmno]

This sounds like a good plan. It always makes me feel better about an approach when I'm comfortable with what everyone thinks the problem is.

 

[DDD]

Sounds like a smart choice which probably will make you feel alot better. Great. DDD

 

[susiestar]

Your GP rocks!! I am glad that he was able to communicate successfully with the therapist so that she did not continue to go down the wrong treatment avenue with you. Sometimes the wrong treatment is worse than no treatment at all, in my opinion.

The brain injury care clinic should be very helpful. I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this!

 

[barneysmom]

Great plan! I was a little worried about you -- not regarding your competence in any way, just in sorting it all out. Kudos to your GP.