B
bran155
Guest
Hello everyone. I hope all is well with all of you and that you all had a nice holiday. I haven't been on in a few days as it has been chaos here. Things are as bad as ever, I just can't imagine them getting any worse!!! My daughter is a mess. So much has happened in the last few days, I don't even know where to begin.
Thanksgiving: The morning was rocky. She was in a mood and was very edgy and nasty. Getting very angry over nothing. Most of the day was okay. We allowed her to bring a friend over to eat. She was showing off a bit, cursing and being very loud and obnoxious. Her usual BS. Later on in the evening we had company. My sister's friends came by. That's when all hell broke loose. My son was doing something on the computer and she wanted to get on. My sister told her to wait until he was finished. Well that just set her off. She went into a rage, cursing, threatening, banging, she was just out of control. We were so embarrassed!!! This went on for a few HOURS!!! The mouth on her is absolutely disgusting. It's not only what she says, it's the way she says it. I couldn't even describe it in words, you have to witness it to truly understand just how bad it is. So after hours of this abuse we finally called the police. They came and of course one of the officers had been here before so he knew what to expect. We discussed bringing her to the hospital, however we still had company and it was Thanksgiving for pete's sake!!! Besides, she knows how to play the game, she knows what to say and what not to say to avoid an in-patient stay. So the cops calmed her down and told her to go to her room and stay. They told her if they had to come back she was going to the hospital. After they left she did calm down, she ate some food and then went to bed. Since coming home from jail she had 3 good days and the rest have been similar to this one. So for the past 6-7 days she has been horrific!!! Oh but it gets worse.......
Saturday: She was pretty much in and out all day. Nasty mood and very agitated. My sister went out that night and a friend of ours came over to hang out with me and the kids. My husband was upstairs in our apartment and we were downstairs in my sister's apartment. Me, my friend, my nephew and my son were playing a board game. We were having a good time and then the monster came home. Keep in mind that my sister has been locking her door to keep my daughter out of her house. She just is so fed up with her she doesn't want to be around her. So she comes in my sister's house and gets on the computer. After the episode on Thanksgiving my daughter is no longer allowed on my sister's computer. So I told her she had to get off and get out of the apartment. She rants and raves a little and then leaves. I didn't realize it at first, but she and a boy were hanging out in the hallway. So I opened the door and told her to leave. She knows she is not allowed to just bring people here without my permission anymore. She was not happy and cursed at me a little bit. I locked the door and she began banging on it. Yelling at me to open the f-ing door, she wasn't finished with the computer. She banged and banged. I opened the door and it must have hit her and she freaked out. She literally PUNCHED me dead in the face!!!! Right in front of the kids!!! My son instantly started crying and my nephew screamed "f**k!!!" He got up to defend me. Thankfully my friend stopped him. She brought the kids into the other room to calm them down. I went screaming up the stairs yelling to my husband to call the police. I thought he was going to beat the hell out of my daughter!!! As he is calling the cops, she is now crying and begging us not to call. "Please mommy, I am sorry, you hit me first, please, please!!!" After seeing that my husband did follow through with the phone call, she and her friend took off. I haven't seen or heard from her since. The cops came. Some of you might remember that because she stole my husband's credit card there was an order of protection put in place so that she cannot harass him in anyway. So we figured all we would have to do was explain that to the police and she would be arrested for assaulting me and violating the order. Well, that's not how it went down. Once again one of the cops had been here before and knew our situation. We explained to them what had happened and told them we want her arrested and we want to press charges on her for assault. NOT!!! They said they could not arrest her because it was just a domestic dispute. The order of protection is not on file at the police station so they couldn't do anything about that either. I am so confused. If I punched her in the face I would be arrested, but she is allowed to assault me and get away with it?? I just don't understand. We told the cops that we were not letting her in the house if she came home. They said to leave the door locked and if she came back to call them. Great, for what? They aren't going to arrest her so what do I need them for? Well. she didn't come back and we haven't heard from her since. She is probably scared to come home because she thinks she will go back to jail. She is now in violation of her curfew. I am not letting her back in here no matter what!!! They can haul me off to jail, I am not going to subject my son or my nephew to anymore of this craziness. My poor son has anxiety as it is and now he is a nervous wreck!!!! I am going to call the DA off the hook until I get answers. What am I supposed to do now? She just cannot live here any longer. She literally punched me right in my nose!!!! I wish she would have broke my nose. The police said that it would have been different if there was a visible injury!!! I feel like I am dreaming. I just cannot believe things are this bad. My entire family is just sick of all of this. We just can't take no more!!!!
I hate this life. I can't stop crying, I am sad all of the time, not only am I fed up but I am also worried about her. She called my husband and told him she was leaving the state. So what if she really does? She is totally unstable and I am afraid of what she will do. I am done, I have no energy left for this, I no longer have the drive to help her anymore. I want so much to wash my hands of her yet I love her so much at the same time. Urrgghh!!!! This just stinks!!! I hate having all of these emotions. I want off this roller coaster of hell. I just can't do this anymore. How on earth can she punch me in the face and then live in her own skin. I would have such guilt if I did that to my mom. I have done so much for this kid. I have worried and cried so much over the years. And she couldn't care any less. She blames me for everything. She feels like I am the enemy. Meanwhile I would give my life for this child. I would do ANYTHING for her. All I get in return for my dedication to her is abuse. It is sick. She is at her absolute worst. So, now I will be looking to get my son therapy. Having a child with mental illness affects everyone and everything in your life!!! It is just so unfair. I am so ANGRY that this is happening to us. I am angry with God, why did he give this to us? Why??????
Thanks for listening,
Shawna
Thanksgiving: The morning was rocky. She was in a mood and was very edgy and nasty. Getting very angry over nothing. Most of the day was okay. We allowed her to bring a friend over to eat. She was showing off a bit, cursing and being very loud and obnoxious. Her usual BS. Later on in the evening we had company. My sister's friends came by. That's when all hell broke loose. My son was doing something on the computer and she wanted to get on. My sister told her to wait until he was finished. Well that just set her off. She went into a rage, cursing, threatening, banging, she was just out of control. We were so embarrassed!!! This went on for a few HOURS!!! The mouth on her is absolutely disgusting. It's not only what she says, it's the way she says it. I couldn't even describe it in words, you have to witness it to truly understand just how bad it is. So after hours of this abuse we finally called the police. They came and of course one of the officers had been here before so he knew what to expect. We discussed bringing her to the hospital, however we still had company and it was Thanksgiving for pete's sake!!! Besides, she knows how to play the game, she knows what to say and what not to say to avoid an in-patient stay. So the cops calmed her down and told her to go to her room and stay. They told her if they had to come back she was going to the hospital. After they left she did calm down, she ate some food and then went to bed. Since coming home from jail she had 3 good days and the rest have been similar to this one. So for the past 6-7 days she has been horrific!!! Oh but it gets worse.......
Saturday: She was pretty much in and out all day. Nasty mood and very agitated. My sister went out that night and a friend of ours came over to hang out with me and the kids. My husband was upstairs in our apartment and we were downstairs in my sister's apartment. Me, my friend, my nephew and my son were playing a board game. We were having a good time and then the monster came home. Keep in mind that my sister has been locking her door to keep my daughter out of her house. She just is so fed up with her she doesn't want to be around her. So she comes in my sister's house and gets on the computer. After the episode on Thanksgiving my daughter is no longer allowed on my sister's computer. So I told her she had to get off and get out of the apartment. She rants and raves a little and then leaves. I didn't realize it at first, but she and a boy were hanging out in the hallway. So I opened the door and told her to leave. She knows she is not allowed to just bring people here without my permission anymore. She was not happy and cursed at me a little bit. I locked the door and she began banging on it. Yelling at me to open the f-ing door, she wasn't finished with the computer. She banged and banged. I opened the door and it must have hit her and she freaked out. She literally PUNCHED me dead in the face!!!! Right in front of the kids!!! My son instantly started crying and my nephew screamed "f**k!!!" He got up to defend me. Thankfully my friend stopped him. She brought the kids into the other room to calm them down. I went screaming up the stairs yelling to my husband to call the police. I thought he was going to beat the hell out of my daughter!!! As he is calling the cops, she is now crying and begging us not to call. "Please mommy, I am sorry, you hit me first, please, please!!!" After seeing that my husband did follow through with the phone call, she and her friend took off. I haven't seen or heard from her since. The cops came. Some of you might remember that because she stole my husband's credit card there was an order of protection put in place so that she cannot harass him in anyway. So we figured all we would have to do was explain that to the police and she would be arrested for assaulting me and violating the order. Well, that's not how it went down. Once again one of the cops had been here before and knew our situation. We explained to them what had happened and told them we want her arrested and we want to press charges on her for assault. NOT!!! They said they could not arrest her because it was just a domestic dispute. The order of protection is not on file at the police station so they couldn't do anything about that either. I am so confused. If I punched her in the face I would be arrested, but she is allowed to assault me and get away with it?? I just don't understand. We told the cops that we were not letting her in the house if she came home. They said to leave the door locked and if she came back to call them. Great, for what? They aren't going to arrest her so what do I need them for? Well. she didn't come back and we haven't heard from her since. She is probably scared to come home because she thinks she will go back to jail. She is now in violation of her curfew. I am not letting her back in here no matter what!!! They can haul me off to jail, I am not going to subject my son or my nephew to anymore of this craziness. My poor son has anxiety as it is and now he is a nervous wreck!!!! I am going to call the DA off the hook until I get answers. What am I supposed to do now? She just cannot live here any longer. She literally punched me right in my nose!!!! I wish she would have broke my nose. The police said that it would have been different if there was a visible injury!!! I feel like I am dreaming. I just cannot believe things are this bad. My entire family is just sick of all of this. We just can't take no more!!!!
I hate this life. I can't stop crying, I am sad all of the time, not only am I fed up but I am also worried about her. She called my husband and told him she was leaving the state. So what if she really does? She is totally unstable and I am afraid of what she will do. I am done, I have no energy left for this, I no longer have the drive to help her anymore. I want so much to wash my hands of her yet I love her so much at the same time. Urrgghh!!!! This just stinks!!! I hate having all of these emotions. I want off this roller coaster of hell. I just can't do this anymore. How on earth can she punch me in the face and then live in her own skin. I would have such guilt if I did that to my mom. I have done so much for this kid. I have worried and cried so much over the years. And she couldn't care any less. She blames me for everything. She feels like I am the enemy. Meanwhile I would give my life for this child. I would do ANYTHING for her. All I get in return for my dedication to her is abuse. It is sick. She is at her absolute worst. So, now I will be looking to get my son therapy. Having a child with mental illness affects everyone and everything in your life!!! It is just so unfair. I am so ANGRY that this is happening to us. I am angry with God, why did he give this to us? Why??????
Thanks for listening,
Shawna