Adult ADD: What is it like?

[Jena]

hi trinity

i just realized your from canada. i love canada. i took the kids there once on a trip to see the falls. it was right after my seperation twelve hour drive was great experience though we had so much fun met some great people.

i found also out there that trends hit there first then us. when i was there ummm 5 yeras ago the whole "dancing" competition thing was hitting then hit us a little later.

id love to take kids again someday

 

[myfirstandlast]

Okay, I'm ADHD. You should see me clean a house. I'll start in the kitchen. Pick up a sweater for the bedroom. Hang the sweater up and start sorting the dirty clothes. While sorting, I'll notice that the house keys are on the bed. Will stop sorting clothes, pick up the keys, start to go put them on the key rack, notice my daughter has a glass in her room. Go to get it, put the keys down, pick up the glass. Put the glass on the kitchen counter. Start to sweep the kitchen floor, notice I didn't clean the stove and one counter. Get the Oxyclean for the hood. Grab the glass put it in the dishwasher. Notice that the key rack doesn't have the house keys. Start searching for them. Discover I haven't finished sorting the clothes, sort them, take a load to the washer, put it in. Pull it out (detergent first in this washer, not my old one). Add the detergent, softener, etc., start wash. Back to kitchen. Clean hood. Notice keys are missing ... do a search for them. Finally remember the glass and use logic to figure out where keys are.

This used to be me too, but you factor in lack of time, stress and depression ... and now I just sit in my squallor knowing I'll NEVER have time to clean it all so why bother ... blah.



But any time I do set out to accomplish *something* I end up 7 degrees away from the original idea and standing there, looking dumbfounded, wondering just what it was that I went down to the basement to get ...

 

[meowbunny]

myfirstandlast -- I can give one simple reason to why bother cleaning the squalor ... it will help some of the depression. Don't try to do it all at once. Don't even try to do one room at once. Do a little at a time. I know, I've been there. Pick a table, a corner, a chair. Get it cleaned up and then put something there so that it can't get cluttered again (I actually put a live plant on a chair so that I couldn't dump anything else on it).

The next week, pick a different spot in the same room. It really is okay to take a week or two to clean one spot -- just make sure to find a way to keep it clean once you've got it done. Keep working on that room until it is done.

It may take you a year (it did me), but you will end up with a house that you can live in and not make you want to sit down and cry every time you walk through it. If you have a friend who can help you, grab that friend. Again, I did. It killed my pride but it really did help in the long run.

Depression stinks. Depression and ADHD combined are nasty. been there done that and, at times, still doing it. Oddly, one thing I'm doing now when I feel the depression coming is forcing myself to clean my room. It really does make a difference when you can enjoy your nest. My bedroom is mine.

Baby steps work wonders. I truly am speaking with the voice of experience here. I didn't even know how much my slop depressed me until it was gone. I'm still prone to bouts of depression but they're different now. Go away quicker. I'm more able to cope, not just lie in bed and try to turn my back to the world. Even while depressed, I can go out and do things and truly laugh. The more I do, the more I laugh, the better things are. Having a home I could live in, not just survive was truly the beginning for me.

 

[myfirstandlast]

Things aren't anywhere as bad as they were when I was with my ex, we literally had nothing but a path through each room, with stacks of clutter everywhere. (I wasn't to touch HIS stuff.)

I got into the Fly Lady stuff when I left to keep from ever getting into that place again. I did really good from '01 to '05 but when we moved into a smaller space, I started having trouble finding spots for my "stuff" again ... and then falling into old routines (the couch is ALWAYS covered with clean laundry, no where to sit) and getting kids to put clothes away is like pulling toenails off (yes, worse than pulling teeth).

I need to keep up on my lists and I need to do filing and I need to organize the catch-all drawer and the catch-all counter and now there is even a catch-all ROOM because I've fallen so far behind, but I can't seem to walk away from the keyboard.

I'm great at starting things. Dreadful at finishing. Useless without my LIST. (If it is not on my list, it does not exist.)