Adult son hospitalized for threatening suicide

[Childofmine]

Hang in there JKF.

Try to remember this: If he asks you to do anything, say: I don't know, honey. I'll think about it.

That is kind and honest. And it buys you time.

Other good things to say:

1. Oh.
2. That would be hard.
3. I understand.
4. Okay.
5. That sounds interesting/sad/hard/good/unbelievable.
6. I love you.
7. I don't know.
8. I'm not sure.

At one point I had these things written down, doublespaced in bigger type, and printed out and in my purse. I would whip it out, go over it, get it fresh in my mind, and was better able to deal.

You are going to get through this. And there may be some good moments, JKF. I hope there will be.

I am glad you got him some shirts and shorts. That is a good thing to do sometimes.

Warm hugs. We are here for you.

 

[JKF]

Well here I am sitting in the parking lot of the psychiatric hospital - the very place that I sat 3 years ago when I joined this group. I don't know why but I had it in my head that once difficult child was 18 I would never have to see this place again. Lots of bad memories here. Ugggh.

Well - here goes nothing. Wish me luck!


Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app

 

[Calamity Jane]

I'm thinking of you, JKF. Hope it went better than you expected. (((Hugs)))

 

[JKF]

It went well. It was actually very lighthearted and we laughed a lot. I stayed longer than I expected to - right until the very end. He told me of his plans and showed me his "to do" list. Some were right on target (get shelter, contact MHA, take medications, work on expressing emotions, apply for ssi), some were not (visit girlfriend by Friday) and some were just so sad (get some clothes, get personal hygiene products). I told him it was a great start and at least he already had 3 things to check off. The BC, clothes, and hygiene products all of which I brought with me for him and he was very happy about that. He also showed me some of his drawings. He's an exceptionally talented artist. It's amazing what he can do with just a pen and paper. I always try to encourage him to do something with that talent but so far he hasn't. Maybe someday.....

I also noticed that he's still SO difficult child. Not that I expected him not to be but it hit me hard especially after not seeing him for almost a year. He still has trouble holding eye contact, talks a mile a minute, has ticks like throat clearing, doesn't pick up on social cues like talking loud in a room full of people. Totally Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits. He still doesn't want to deal with any authority. Expressed that he would rather be homeless than in a shelter. Hates people, wants to fight with so and so, girlfriend's mom is a b**ch, etc. And you know what - I sat there listening, watching him, and just accepting him for who he is. It felt good but very bittersweet.

And then before I knew it, it was time to leave. I cried all the way home. In spite of the good visit I still have a very heavy heart and feel all alone tonight. My friends are busy and all caught up in their lives, and my husband is being a cranky insensitive jerk. Thank god I have all of you here on this forum. Many many thanks for your advice and prayers and good thoughts. I'm glad today is over.....


Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app

 

[SeekingStrength]

Hugs, JFK.

Glad you saw your son and i hope tomorrow is all about you. Seriously. ALL about you.

 

[recoveringenabler]

I'm glad this day is over for you JKF.

Wrap yourself up in a bubble of love and warmth, comfort and ease..........imagine all of us around you holding you in our hearts........we're all here for you and for difficult child too.............circles of empathy, compassion and a very soft place for you to land.

 

[nlj]

I'm so glad you saw your son and that you cried all the way home. Crying can be good sometimes, I find it really therapeutic and cleansing. To not cry would have been strange and probably not healthy.

I like COM's list of answers to give him, I would add "I'm sure you can work it out", I can't remember who suggested that one a while ago but I use it a lot now - it's supportive, sounds like you believe in them, but puts the onus on them.

It's a new morning here, rainy and grey but never mind, a new day to do something nice. I hope you have a nice day today JKF.

husband is being a cranky insensitive jerk.

He's just worried about you and maybe doesn't know what to say or do. He's a man, give him a break (that's what H would say).

 

[JKF]

You're right Lucy. It's a new day. I slept beautifully and now it's time to get up and keep moving forward in this journey. In retrospect - I'm looking at my visit with difficult child as a blessing. We were happy to see each other and we sat and talked and laughed. It's been a LONG time since that's happened and I'm looking at that as a gift. Also I was able to give my son some of the tools he needs to move forward like clothing and his birth certificate. It's up to him to do so now.

As for my husband - you're right about that too. He sent me a text this morning (he leaves for work at 4 am - WAY before I wake up) and he said he's sorry for being a jerk and it's been a sh*t week for both of us and he loves me more than anything. It's very rare that we disagree and argue but when we do we always make up. I know this is hard for him too and it scares him greatly when I retreat into my sad, angry, quiet place because it took me years to come out of it.

Anyway - thank you ALL again for your support. difficult child is being discharged this morning and going right to the office of temp assistance today to reapply for services. He's hoping they will put him in motel placement while he acclimates to his medications. Please keep your fingers crossed and rattle some beads for him. I hope it works out as he thinks it will.


Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app

 

[recoveringenabler]

Prayers for your son and you too JKF. I'm happy to hear you're feeling better.

 

[SeekingStrength]

Prayers here, too.

Keep us posted, please. glad you husband apologized and you feel better this morning.

 

[CrazyinVA]

Just came here to check and see how you're doing.. sounds like you're in a peaceful place for now. I'm glad. Hugs.

 

[Esri]

Sending hugs


ME 42
husband 40
DD1 18
DD2 9

My oldest moved out a week after turning 18. I'm really struggling. Looking for advice.

 

[tishthedish]

JFK,
I know the sound sleep one has after seeing their son after so long. I'm so glad it went well. I've been thinking of you.