rush
New Member
I have a 19 year old daughter who is driving me nuts and upsetting our household. I know what needs to happen but I don't know how to bring that change around in a timely fashion.
7 months ago she moved 700 miles away to live with a friend at his granny's house. That lasted for 5 months then granny kicked her out. She called me, said she was ready to come home, but needed money. I sent the money for her to drive home, but she kept the money and stayed out there. She lived in shelters and tents. During this period, her car keys were stolen, then her car, her laptop, and everything she had, cell phone included. I was very upset that she lied about the money and didn't come home as planned.
Eventually, she made her way to the next state over and found a bed at a shelter. She wasn't feeling well so the shelter sent her to the hospital. The hospital put a 96 hour hold on her (she is low level bipolar) and they got her back on her medications. They released her after 4 days with no medications and she proceeded to try to find a place to stay.
She called home again saying all the shelters were full and she couldn't find anyplace to sleep. I asked her if she wanted to come home, and she said she did. I put her up in a hotel for 3 days and my husband and her drove out there and brought her back home.
Since she has been home, she has been rude, disrespectful, and impossible to live with. She got my husband and my new credit cards out of the mail and proceeded to charge 150+ dollars on them. (She would have charged more but the credit card company called us and cancelled the cards.) She also took an unactivated store card of her older sister's that was put up here at our house and ordered stuff online. I intercepted the packages as they arrived and returned all of it to the store. ( she does this after we have gone to work). I had to remove the house phone because she was making long distance calls. We have a deadbolt on our bedroom. She broke in anyway and took the house phone, saying all she wanted was the phone.
I buy groceries for the week and she will eat them all in a matter of a couple days. ( gallon of milk in 1 day, tub of butter in a week, a dozen eggs in a couple days, etc,,, no exaggeration). She cooks while we are gone to work and leaves the mess everywhere. Her room is atrocious, as well as her bathrooom.
We have tried talking to her, but it is like talking to a wall. This past Thursday when I got home from work, there was a mess all over the kitchen and living room where she cooked. I was so mad after cleaning it up the night before, that I told her to start looking for a place to move to. She left, walked to the police station, and told them she had nowhere to go as I had told her not to come back. The police called, and I informed them of what has been going on, including the stealing. I told them I did not tell her not to come back, I told her to start looking for a place to move.
This is where my husband and I are at. I bought her a tracphone yesterday and told her she has a month to get a job. The insurance company totalled her stolen car and sent us a check. So--
Do we buy her another car? Do we simply kick her out, knowing she will have nowhere to go? (NO relatives or shelters nearby)? I have taken care to see that she gets her medications, but I don't know how much more I can take. My husband is threatening to leave over this. He is her stepfather but he has raised her from age 3. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I know I must be doing something wrong for the situation is not improving.
Thank you!
7 months ago she moved 700 miles away to live with a friend at his granny's house. That lasted for 5 months then granny kicked her out. She called me, said she was ready to come home, but needed money. I sent the money for her to drive home, but she kept the money and stayed out there. She lived in shelters and tents. During this period, her car keys were stolen, then her car, her laptop, and everything she had, cell phone included. I was very upset that she lied about the money and didn't come home as planned.
Eventually, she made her way to the next state over and found a bed at a shelter. She wasn't feeling well so the shelter sent her to the hospital. The hospital put a 96 hour hold on her (she is low level bipolar) and they got her back on her medications. They released her after 4 days with no medications and she proceeded to try to find a place to stay.
She called home again saying all the shelters were full and she couldn't find anyplace to sleep. I asked her if she wanted to come home, and she said she did. I put her up in a hotel for 3 days and my husband and her drove out there and brought her back home.
Since she has been home, she has been rude, disrespectful, and impossible to live with. She got my husband and my new credit cards out of the mail and proceeded to charge 150+ dollars on them. (She would have charged more but the credit card company called us and cancelled the cards.) She also took an unactivated store card of her older sister's that was put up here at our house and ordered stuff online. I intercepted the packages as they arrived and returned all of it to the store. ( she does this after we have gone to work). I had to remove the house phone because she was making long distance calls. We have a deadbolt on our bedroom. She broke in anyway and took the house phone, saying all she wanted was the phone.
I buy groceries for the week and she will eat them all in a matter of a couple days. ( gallon of milk in 1 day, tub of butter in a week, a dozen eggs in a couple days, etc,,, no exaggeration). She cooks while we are gone to work and leaves the mess everywhere. Her room is atrocious, as well as her bathrooom.
We have tried talking to her, but it is like talking to a wall. This past Thursday when I got home from work, there was a mess all over the kitchen and living room where she cooked. I was so mad after cleaning it up the night before, that I told her to start looking for a place to move to. She left, walked to the police station, and told them she had nowhere to go as I had told her not to come back. The police called, and I informed them of what has been going on, including the stealing. I told them I did not tell her not to come back, I told her to start looking for a place to move.
This is where my husband and I are at. I bought her a tracphone yesterday and told her she has a month to get a job. The insurance company totalled her stolen car and sent us a check. So--
Do we buy her another car? Do we simply kick her out, knowing she will have nowhere to go? (NO relatives or shelters nearby)? I have taken care to see that she gets her medications, but I don't know how much more I can take. My husband is threatening to leave over this. He is her stepfather but he has raised her from age 3. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I know I must be doing something wrong for the situation is not improving.
Thank you!