Ahhhhh!!

[cyncan]

Hi
This sounds exactly like my GFGSD. Since she is no longer living with us and I am not in the turmoil I was when she was so I have been doing a lot of thinking - how we could have done things better. The wise people on this site have given you VERY good advice. I am thinking I and husband should have stuck to her like glue - and called her on everything. It became so exhausting and frustrating - we didn't follow through on every single thing - and these kids find the gaps and exploit them.

I think the advice here is excellent. She is still young enough to make a difference too.

My SD also did the forged signatures - I spent so much time at the school - but I love the idea of shadowing her. I wish I would have done that - but working f/t it was hard.

As far as CPS is concerned, we had this issue as well - but they didn't even end up investigating - she had told so many lies to so many people - they all got together and figured it out before even talking to us - however, they did suggest we have her go live with her Mom as our house was out of control (we were all an emotional wreck).

As hindsight is 20/20 - absolutely take everyone's advice here, also- make sure you and the rest of the family are taken care of as well - that is SO important - we did not do that and it is still causing emotional problems. Most important - just love her more and more...

Cyndi

 

[DaisyFace]

Yes, I had to do that with the school, too--

I told all of difficult child's teachers that NOTHING comes home. Not report cards. Occupational Therapist (OT) notes from the teacher. Not homework (especially not homework!). Not important letters. Not school lunch menus for crying out loud!

If the teacher has ANYTHING that I need to be aware of--they need to telephone or email. Otherwise, I will not get it. Period.

--DaisyF

 

[Jungleland]

Thank you all, so very much. This next week is spring break, so at least we won't be dealing with school issues. Yesterday afternoon she was in a much better place and this morning as well. I am going out of town for the weekend, yippee! No kids, no husband!!!

We have friends that do horse therapy and they will be working with her this next week for several days. We have done this in the past, and it is great. It does bring up stuff for her, but hopefully they can help her work through it.

And we will be doing the "stuck to her like glue" approach as well. Praying these things will help her make it through the remaining weeks of school.

Thanks again guys, I appreciate you all so much. I will check in when I return, as I will not have computer access.

Hugs, Vickie

 

[rejectedmom]

My difficult child was like this and we did what Star did and followed him around it worked to a certain degree but did not cure him of lying. We soon learned that it was up to us to verify all that he told us and we told everyone to do the same. If they didn't follow through it was their problem and we told them that too. on the occasions when difficult child took advantage of an unsuspecting person by lying we would try to make good on it and either return or replace the item or money involved. We would then tell them that it was now up to them to check the facts before giving difficult child money or whatever.

In the long run my difficult child never really "got it" about the lying although he isn't as blatant about it now. He now tells half truths or withholds pertinent information entirely. He is 22 now and bottom line is we do not trust him (natural consequences of his actions) but it doesn't matter that much to us anymore because he no longer lives with us and we are no longer responsible for his actions.

As far as the behavior reports from school have them e-mail it to you every day. That way you will be sure to get them. Do the same with anything that needs your attention. I was a teacher and I learned that for some kids this was the only way to make sure parents got the info they neded. I e-mailed grades, assignments, messages regarding behaviors etc. Had to because the difficult child's I taught got home before their parents and they deleted telephone messages, threw out mail and lied about everything. Havig had a difficult child of my own I knew to compensate and get around their bad behaviors. -RM