Another lock / If he only had a brain/vent

[totoro]

Wow... that was amazing!!! that he is aware on any level. Even for a brief moment...
K will do that at times "Why Mommy, why do I do these things, why do I feel this way, why can't I get help, Why aren't the blue pills helping?" Maybe he is not completely lost?

When it gives you a resurgence of hope and strength to fight for that kid... my brother and father have personality disorders... K will snoop through things already and take things, she also has started hiding things... Please don't let her become a Mini Dudette... I'll take his good qualities!!!
Just not what you are going through now!!!
Once again I am amazed by you!!! locks and all... and of course DF...

 

[DDD]

Star, reading your last post I thought you might enjoy this thought. Our psychiatrist (a delightful respected man who actually is older than I am...wow)
likes difficult child. He recently commented in response to a question I posed "your difficult child not only thinks outside the box...he lives outside the box". "I
often haven't got a clue, either".

There is comfort in knowing that you are not the only perplexed one.
I've felt better ever since Dr. L. said that. Maybe that's true of Dude, too! DDD

 

[Star*]

D3 - If your son lives outside and thinks outside the box - mine has NEVER colored inside the lines. He is VERY different and yet longs I think most in his heart to be like anyother kid - like you said - you hit the nail on the head.

Do I think ever that any of our kids are a loss? No. It's the highest level of frustration to ever know and we all do handle it so well, each different but similar working towards the same goals - having a happy child who can mature and have a nice life. Doesn't seem like much to ask for until you don't have it or can't seem to get it.

Do I think at times we HAVE to walk away to save our selves our sanity our mates? Sure. Everyones walking away factor is different, and yet the situations we face daily are similar too.

I told husband tonight - I feel like I'm desperate but I swear I see things in Dude now that I never saw. (shrug) wishful thinking? Perhaps. But I think Dude is finally (for whatever reason) able to see things in a different light.

I'm so sure I'll be screwed over and hurt - any attempts I make at this point - just don't bother me like they used to....but what if......? And there I'm off again.

Ever hopeful -
Hugs
Star

 

[Nomad]

Partially deleted.
Perhaps it falls under "difficult child Spectrum Disorder." :crazy1: I too am amazed by your strength, wisdom and humor. Sending you hugs and good thoughts.

 

[Hound dog]

That's a real window into his mind, and it's something to say that he can see it and relate it and knows that it's not the right thing to be.

Witz said exactly what I was thinking as I read the post. I think that's the big thing right there. Of course he still has to work to make the change. But to me this shows hope that Dude may actually be able to get it one day.

I like the punching bag idea. He gets a work out and muscles while venting off some anger. Win/win. I also like the writing down his thoughts when he has these times. Just writing, doesn't have to make sense as he's not doing it for a grade or for anyone else, just writing thoughts and feelings down as they come to mind. Might help him work thru these feelings in a more round about way.

Hugs Star. I'm glad he has one heck of a psychiatrist who actually "gets" him.

 

[witzend]

When I read what he was saying to you, I had thoughts more about his reading some of the works written by prisoners who were true Sociopaths but found life to be worthwhile in prison and/or on Death Row. Honestly, Dude sounds like he has no hope whatsoever of having any kind of life that is valuable to him. I don't see that scaring him is going to be the answer. He needs to know that people can be as awful as him (sorry, I don't know how else to put it) and find a way to make their lives meaningful. Dude knows he can be a bad---, and he knows that he could rot in jail. It's time for him to think about the possibility that even the worst people can change their lives. Malcolm X comes to mind first, but I don't know that you would really want Dude to join the Nation of Islam...

I did some searches earlier, because I know that I have a couple of authors in mind, but without luck. I will look again. It seems like something he could relate to.

 

[susiestar]

Star,

I think that Dude gave an amazing look into what he is going through every day. I cannot imagine how anyone would cope with all of that anger/rage starting the day and never letting up.

This may sound strange, but it is a privilege to get this kind of insight, and so very few of us ever know what our difficult children, or other children are thinking through the day.

I don't have any suggestions, but I am going to send you a PM.

Hugs for all of you.

Susie

 

[meowbunny]

Hearing all that anger had to be frightening and heartbreaking. His words brought tears to my eyes. No human, let alone a beloved child, should have to live a world that is that wrong (sorry, only word that I could think of that fit). I truly pray that Dude find something to give him relief, to help him grow into the person he wants to be and that may be his saving grace -- that he wants to be something different.

I'm so very sorry for you and your family. You all deserve so much better.

 

[standswithcourage]

I understand that too. Star I just hate it for you. I believe my difficult child is Antisocial Conduct disorder. I have left a message at the jail for the mental health lady to see if they can evaluate him. I am at a loss for anyone to talk to about it. I hope for your sake you can get him in the right place. How do I send you a PM? This new system has messed me all up!