Guila, I know you are trying to help but your advice is very simplistic and not realistic. Do you really think I haven't said all of those things to my daughter over the years?
Okay, I may not have expressed myself the way I did want.
The problem is not only the telling.
Like you said more articulately than I said, the problem is not "telling". The problem is being heard.
The problem is not the content, but the form you use to convey the message.
If you say : "You have to eat a balanced diet and exercise to feel well", the content is there, the form is absent.
So, she cannot hear what you say because it does not mean anything to her.
If you say it over and over but stick on this message, of course, it will be the same yada yada message she hears from doctors (and the same yada yada message I hear from doctors).
The problem here is not "What", the problem here is "How".
We can phrase our key question : "How can we make her hear that she needs a healthy diet and exercise to feel well ?".
I didn't articulate as well as I intended on my previous message. I am sorry for the offend I caused.
What worked for me is being involved and being focused on one tiny change at time.
If you drag her to go cycle and she hates cycling, it won't work.
Finding the right exercise is a lot of trial and error. Like medicines, like finding a doctor, like anything in life.
She loves taking care of animals ? Then use it as a tool to exercise. Running with dogs, horse riding etc etc...
She loves dancing ? Be it.
She loves video games ? Then, a Wii can be a fantastic tool to exercise.
What I can advise you is : don't try to reinvent the wheel.
To make changes in diet and exercise, a complete makeover cannot work if it's completely disconnected to the person's habits. If you say someone to go to the gym whereas the person hates being closed indoors and the gym is too far, the person won't stick to it and will slip to her old ways.
For the healthy and balanced diet, you can observe what she likes most to eat and swap the recipes to make them healthier and more nutritious.
She likes French fries and hamburger with soda ? You can turn it into French fries in the oven, steak with a tiny bit of cheese and a fruit smoothie instead of her soda. If you want, I have a recipe for French fries in the oven and not in a frying pan.
She likes meat loaf ? You can include veggies in the meat loaf, and accompany it with mash potatoes (cooked with olive oil and water instead of butter and milk).
I know that it sounds simplistic and irrealistic when you have so much on your plate. But think that one tiny change can have huge benefits. Keep for some time the tiny change, then add another tiny change etc etc...
It looks like eating an elephant. How do you eat an elephant ? You eat it one tiny bite at time.
Same about the healthy diet and exercise. One tiny change at time.
I can tell you for being on the other side that when my mother wants to drag me on a yoga course whereas I hate it, it cannot work. When we started to find what I like and what she likes, then we could work on healthier habits together.
If you want your message about a healthy diet and exercise to reach her thick skull, start by focusing with
what she already has, not what you want her to have.
If you want her to eat boiled vegetables and she hates boiled vegetables, it won't work.
If you drag your daughter to the gym and she hates the gym, it won't work.
Also, what I said about not obsessing over the number on the scale is still valid. Focus on health and feeling good, not with irrealistic models she sees in magazines.
So, my sentence to conclude all the ranting is when you want to convey a message about healthy eating and exercise, think and focus on one tiny change at time, and work with what you already have.
I can tell you that having someone who helped me by focusing at one tiny change at time was the most valuable help I could receive from people around me.
Take care
