Another trip to the emergency room ~ difficult child overdosed

[Rumpole]

She seems fine but I know this will happen again. Today it was a fight with Peter Pan that triggered it. She cannot handle anything that rocks her boat. I think it is time for a residential long term inpatient hospital but she is saying she won't go. It also means we will have to use a large portion of our retirement money.

What else can we do?

~Kathy

Any possibility you could get her onto suboxone and supervise her taking it? If you see her taking it once a day, you know she won't be craving heroin, and even if she's silly enough to use it she is extremely unlikely to overdose. At least in my case, it's what worked to keep me off heroin with only 9 weeks of relapse over the last 9 years (and without any inpatient rehab).

It might not work for everyone, but I do think heroin addiction is one of the easier drug addictions to treat because of the existence of maintenance drugs. There is a US federal government website that can provide a list of buprenorphine / suboxone providers in your state. They usually provide a month's supply, it's next to impossible to overdose on buprenorphine / suboxone (due to the 32mg ceiling effect), and it does mean that if she is simply willing to try it, with you supervising her taking it each morning, you'll be able to feel that she's not using for the next 24 hours after the dose.

Rumpole

 

[Ephchap]

Kathy, first of all, big caring hugs wrapping around you. OMG, what an ordeal. I understand how you're feeling - if you don't laugh, you'd cry. I also totally get wanting your child to be able to get the mental health help they need, and them not having the insurance or money to do so. It always used to drive me over the edge that even through it all, my difficult child was working and yet, didn't have the insurance for doctor visits or hospital stays and would refuse to go. It just boggles the mind how unfair it is. Your daughter needs help, and it should not be up to you and husband time and time again to have to pay for it. She should be able to qualify for some assistance, and yet, I know with mine - he didn't qualify either. It's a vicious cycle. If you're working, you can't get help, but if they aren't working, they have WAY too much time on their hands and their depression and addiction overtakes everything else.

The only suggestion I can make is to try the MHMR agency with your county or state. Sometimes they can help with a referral for assistance to a residential program, if they feel it is needed.

Hugs to you and your family. What a scary ordeal.

Deb

 

[SuZir]

Giulia, you seem to have a very different understanding on how much influence we parents have on our adult kids than we have. And that makes your advises to feel little bit naive to us.

Most of us have a long time ago come to understanding that we can absolutely not make our kids to do anything. We have talked till we were blue. We have tried hundreds of different tactics and still we can not make them do or understand anything, if they do not want to. I probably have one of the more immature, wanting to please me and me having more leverage over him, young adult difficult child in these boards. And still I can't make him do or understand anything. I can't make him hear me. To be frank, if i could talk some sense into him and make him do and think like I wanted, I would not have a difficult child but the most well adjusted young adults there is. I certainly do know what he should do, but that doesn't mean I would have any way to make him do it or even see things from my point of view.

That is why it is very frustrating when someone tells 'just make him do/understand something.'

 

[Nancy]

That's the second time it has been suggested if we drag our difficult children out to exercise with us all will be well. If it were only that simple.

Nancy

 

[toughlovin]

It feels as if we are talking two different things here... one is the issue of not gaining weight on a certain medication.... and so encouraging healthy eating and exercise. All sounds good if the main problem was weight and the person wanted to do somethign about it, then yes small healthy changes a step at a time is good.... However in this case we are talking about a young adult with a drug problem and mental health problems. Those will not be fixed with a little exercise and healthy eating.... and of course a big part of the issue is our young adult difficult children wont follow our advice anyways..... AND part of our process as parents of people with drug addiction is accepting the fact that we CANT fix it!!! So being told that somehow all we have to do is be a good example and encourage small changes makes no sense, because really it is totally up to them and for many of us realzing that was the first step in our own recovery of not enabling them anymore.

TL

 

[Kathy813]

Rumpole, I suggest you go back and read our stories before giving advice. My difficult child has never had a problem with heroin so your advice is meaningless. She overdosed on prescription pills and as far as I know, suboxone would be useless in that situation.

Guila, again, you just don't get it. My daughter is an adult and I can't "drag" her anywhere nor can I shove healthy food in her mouth.

~Kathy

 

[Nancy]

Rumpole I understand your interest in suboxone but it is not the answer to all our problems here. I don't want to sound harsh but this forum is a support group for loved ones of difficult children. I'm sure there are many support groups for heroin addicts that may welcome your experiences. You are coming from a different perspective and you may have a lot to share with a different targeted audience.

Nancy

 

[Ephchap]

Kathy, I agree about the dual-diagnostic being a great fit for your difficult child. That's where I really felt like my difficult child got the best treatment. He was in a dual-diagnostic residential facility for 10 months. Of course, his drug of choice before entering was marijuana and then he moved onto crack cocaine, and in later years abused alcohol, but I really feel the treatment plan at that facility helped him overcome the alcohol later on as well.

As for some of the posts about "making our difficult child's" do something, or it being a simple fix ... my head is exploding, so I won't even dignify those remarks with a response. If we could all just "make" our difficult child's listen, we wouldn't be in this situation. Do people not think we have tried everything and anything to help our difficult child's through this? I just can't even begin to put into words.

Meanwhile, you're in my thoughts and I'm sending support and hugs.

Deb

 

[susiestar]

Kathy, I am so very sorry that you and husband and easy child had to go through this experience with difficult child. I really wish that some program would work for her, and I think the dual diagnosis treatment is very much the type of treatment she will need when she is finally ready to deal with her problems. Sadly, I don't think that anything you do right now is going to make a big difference because she simply is not at a point where she feels any need or desire to not use OR to address her mental health issues.

As for insurance, I hope that soon she will have coverage so she can get help that she, and you, can afford.

I hope that someday very soon your difficult child is as invested in her well-being as you are. She is both lucky and blessed to be loved so much by her parents.