Any tips for defiant peeing or pooping?

susiestar

Roll With It
I think you have potty trained WAY too young. Boys potty train later, something in their brain development, in my opinion. I used to insist on diapers until they actually truly WANTED to wear big boy underwear/big girl underwear. They had to be able to keep a diaper clean and dry for a day, letting me know they needed to go potty, before we tried underwear. Honestly, diapers were SOO much easier than the first year or two of underwear. Having to find a bathroom NOW for a kid to go potty was a much bigger nuisance than changing diapers. It usually only took a week or two, once they made the decision to wear underwear, for them to earn the privilege. They were NEVER punished for accidents, and I never made a big deal of them either. I do remember discussing not peeing/pooping on whatever superhero/cartoon character was on the big kid underwear, because would you like for someone to do that to you? It sure cut down on accidents though it was an odd conversation to be sure.

I don't understand the appeal of potty training at 2. I honestly think it is rarely possible for a child to have full control at that age. I think the parent becomes hyper vigilant of the child's behavior and then runs the child to the potty rather than it being child driven. Everyone I know who started that early spent months or years potty training. Most of the early part of that was watching the child to see if they had signs of needing to go rather than the child actually realizing they needed to go. I always thought I had better things to do with my time than watch to see if a child needed to go to the bathroom. My way it took a week or so, though we were in diapers longer. But my kids were actually capable of controlling their bodily functions, developmentally, when they started potty training.

Of course my husband thought we waited too long. While I was pregnant he saw a book titled Potty Training in Less than a Day and figured if we didn't do it on their first day in this world, well, we waited too long. Of course he changed as many diapers as I did, esp with the 2nd two kids, and was mostly joking about that 1 day thing. But I heard about with each kid for as long as they were in diapers.

My daughter actually was in underwear several months before age 3, but she always played with the older kids and actively WANTED to potty train. Everyone I know who had a girl and a boy had similar experiences. The developmental pediatrician we saw once said that it is rare for a boy to have the nerves fully develop to give control over the bowels before age 3.

I would stop looking at your son as defiantly pooping because you let him cry and start looking at it as him not being developmentally ABLE to control it. And for night, it is common in both girls and boys to not have control until around age 5-6. Again, this is what the dev. pediatrician. told us.
 

GoingNorth

Crazy Cat Lady
I trained by 2, but it was combination of cloth diapers, rubber pants, and severe sensory issues. I would start screaming as soon as I started to wet or soil, and felt it, and be in full blown hysterics until I was changed. My mother put me in training pants as soon a she realized I was holding it so I didn't have to feel wet or soiled, and would, from before the age of a year, let her know in words, that I had to go. She had me sitting on a potty as soon as I had muscular control to sit properly and do what was needed when needed.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Girls tend to train earlier. I never pushed any of my kids to train though. Jumper trained on her own by 18 months. All the others, even Princess, were three. Sonic, with his autism, may have been four.
 
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