Apparently the grass was NOT greener

[amstrong]

Well after moving out in a huff to another family's home (which also has rules), difficult child called Sturday nite and said "um, if it is ok, I am coming home tonite". I was calm and collected and asked why. He said he just would rather be at home. I asked him if he had decided that this just wasn't for him right now and he said, "yeah, for now".

He came home, we went over house rules, we allowed his input and have all come to an agreement. We also told him that bouncing in and out when he gets mad and then gets over it won't fly. We told him that we want nothing more than for him to save his money, continue to mature and one day fly out of the nest on his own. He seemed relieved and seems quite happy to be home.

Thought I would update you!

 

[Suz]

Sounds like a great update, Robyn. I hope it lasts!

Suz

 

[Hound dog]

A very good update. I'm glad you all were able to come to an agreement. I hope it lasts.

hugs

 

[KFld]

:smile:
Didn't take him long to figure that out, did it??

 

[Sunlight]

Robyn, one day you will decide yourself that you have had enough of the bouncing in and out and the promises.

til then, may your son be the son you know he has the power to be.

 

[ScentofCedar]

Wishing everyone well at your house, Robyn.

I'm glad he came home. You never know ~ this may be the time it will take.

Are you planning ahead for a worst case scenario? (For instance, have you made your expectations and consequences clear?)

That used to help us to know when it wasn't working.

You would think the misery would have done it. But by the time everything would devolve to that point, husband and I would be so triangulated that we could never come up with a workable plan or set of consequences. We always wound up paying for everything for difficult child to move away.

And that happened to us more than once.

So that's why I think you should try to determine your limits and expectations now.

Make your expectations clear to difficult child ~ along with where he is going to live next, if he continues to make the rest of you miserable.

We still wound up paying for things the last time difficult child moved out?

But we did so much better.

Barbara

 

[amstrong]

Thanks, all of you. When we worked up house rules with his input-it was put on paper and signed by all parties. It ended by saying that failure to respect the house rules and his parents would result in his being forced to find other living arrangements and he would be given 15 days to secure said arrangements. It also states that ALL parties agree that BEFORE a big blowup ensues which could result in his deciding to leave or our deciding to boot him, that party(ies) will walk away, cool off and THINK before making rash decisions.

Here is hoping that this will afford some maturity and tranquility in my home.

 

[DDD]

It sounds like progress to me. Fingers crossed. DDD

 

[witzend]

Sounds like he earned a notch on the maturity belt. I hope things stay calm for a while!

 

[AliceLee]

Robyn, sounds like the agreement is a good one. I am praying that everyone can keep their cool heads and live with mutual respect.

My daughter was unable (or unwilling?) to sit down and iron out any agreement. It was her way or the highway. We showed her to the highway.