Dear Overwhelmed, It makes perfect sense that you feel the way you do. You are living with abuse in your own home. It wears you down, it diminishes you, and it will send anyone into depression. I am so glad you reached out. You are not alone. Please add this number for the suicide hotline into your phone 1-800-273-8255. Please call them when you feel suicidal. You are a worthy, important, deserving human being and you matter. There is also a crisis line you can text to :741741. With the current Corona Virus situation, it will not be possible to get to an Al-Anon meeting, but I, too, strongly recommend Al-Anon for you. Nobody will share that you were there just like you will be asked to keep everyone you see there anonymous. In the meantime, check out their website and start reading there. Get yourself an Al-Anon reader on Amazon and read every morning's entry: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0910034796/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_i_om0DEbYNF5WH1 There is also an Al-Anon app with a daily lesson and story: Today's Hope They have many resources on there. And the Al-Anon help line for your area should be operational even now. I can only echo some of the suggestion others have already made: DO NOT accept abuse. Nobody gets to define you, attack you, or assassinate your character. My children did that to me for a while until I learned NOT TO accept it anymore. Walking away is indeed the best policy. When you get up and leave, you suck the energy right out of the room with you. You see, what is happening is all about power. And you hold your own power inside of you, given by a power greater than yourself, and when you get up an leave, slowly while adjusting your crown and being in full command of yourself, you take that power right out of the room with you. People continue to do what works for them. If you disrupt what works, they will change. After all, your children are both dependent upon you, and they know it. If your son follows you around as you try to leave, go to your room and lock the door. Tell him "I no longer accept your attacks". Take the focus off your children. Don't worry about what you did or did not do that caused them to be how they are CHOSING to be. They are adults. Think about you. Ask yourself what you need in every moment. And then do that. Take a nice long shower. Eat a good meal. Read a book. Practice being quiet and tuning into yourself. You will get through this. Change is possible. You can recover. You hold so much strength inside of you and you show yourself that every day at work. I am sending you love and hugs.