At the risk of starting a group ROFL...
- Thread starter CAmom
- Start date
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Im still trying to wrap my mind around the concept of grown men not getting easter baskets!
Does this mean they dont get Christmas stockings too? How about Valentines? Or Halloween Candy goodie bags?
I must be doing something really really wrong!
Does this mean they dont get Christmas stockings too? How about Valentines? Or Halloween Candy goodie bags?
I must be doing something really really wrong!
donna723
Well-Known Member
Well, Christmas stockings are different! I do that too! :grin: But I put in "adult" things - like a tire gauge, a decent pen because he never has one, sunflower seeds because he likes them, and nail clippers because he's always losing his. And my son, at age 26, would roll his eyes if I gave him an Easter basket! He'd probably be tickled to get it too, but he'd never admit it! BUT I wouldn't send one to a kid in a group home - I still think that would kind of be "asking for it"!
A few years ago on his birthday I gave my son a package that had a deck of cards, a package of balloons, Silly String, those noisemaker things, etc. - a birthday party in a box! He and his friends had a great time with it!
A few years ago on his birthday I gave my son a package that had a deck of cards, a package of balloons, Silly String, those noisemaker things, etc. - a birthday party in a box! He and his friends had a great time with it!
KFld
New Member
I don't really think age has anything to do with it. I think it's whatever your tradition is and you feel comfortable with. My kids are 17 and 20. difficult child will probably come home for Easter dinner and I will make them both an easter basket. Just some small candy that they like, nothing huge, but just a little easter token. I do it because I like too. I think I will probably stop when they have children of their own and then I will make their children an easter basket.
My brother and I got easter baskets until the day we moved out, just as we got stockings at Christmas.
I think the issue here isn't whether or not you should make him a basket, it's all in the where and how he gets it and you don't want him to be looked at any differently where he is for getting things others there won't be as fortunate to get. There are some pretty sad cases in these facilities and many of these kids probably don't get a phone call or a visit, never mind an easter basket.
My brother and I got easter baskets until the day we moved out, just as we got stockings at Christmas.
I think the issue here isn't whether or not you should make him a basket, it's all in the where and how he gets it and you don't want him to be looked at any differently where he is for getting things others there won't be as fortunate to get. There are some pretty sad cases in these facilities and many of these kids probably don't get a phone call or a visit, never mind an easter basket.
DDD
Well-Known Member
A little off the Easter topic BUT I just thought of a hysterical
story that was shared on bridge night when I was around 24 or so.
There is a similar lesson in the story but in my whole (formerly
happy life..lol) I have never seen or heard 12 women laugh so hard. We were all young Mothers and Valentines Day & Easter were
the topic du jour.
Sonia told with great glee how her Mother just couldn't give up
on the Easter Bunny. Every year she and her brother got stuffed
bunnies and didn't want to hurt their Moms feelings so had to keep seeking out little kids that they could be "generous" with
by giving away the dreaded bunnies. Their Mother even came to
their yards and hid Easter eggs for THEM after they were married
with children!
Karen told the funniest story of all. Karen was truly one of the
prettiest girls in all of Miami...like a junior Elizabeth Taylor.
She HATED Valentines Day because of the card exchange. Remember
how everyone had bags to receive cards that day??? Well, POOR
Karen, always got 10 or 15 more cards than all the other kids.
They were signed "your mystery friend" etc. The other kids
looked at her weird.
Guess what, her Mommy snuck into the classroom before school started and put the cards in Karens bag because she "was afraid
that Karen wouldn't have enough friends and might feel bad".
True Story. Karen didn't figure it out until she was in 6th
grade!!
The moral of the story??? What we do in our own homes is one
thing. What we choose to do out in the world...well, I think
that's another! by the way, my Grown Axx Men get Easter Bowls at home.
Yep, big cereal bowls with goodies including a baby chocolate
rabbit! LOL DDD
story that was shared on bridge night when I was around 24 or so.
There is a similar lesson in the story but in my whole (formerly
happy life..lol) I have never seen or heard 12 women laugh so hard. We were all young Mothers and Valentines Day & Easter were
the topic du jour.
Sonia told with great glee how her Mother just couldn't give up
on the Easter Bunny. Every year she and her brother got stuffed
bunnies and didn't want to hurt their Moms feelings so had to keep seeking out little kids that they could be "generous" with
by giving away the dreaded bunnies. Their Mother even came to
their yards and hid Easter eggs for THEM after they were married
with children!
Karen told the funniest story of all. Karen was truly one of the
prettiest girls in all of Miami...like a junior Elizabeth Taylor.
She HATED Valentines Day because of the card exchange. Remember
how everyone had bags to receive cards that day??? Well, POOR
Karen, always got 10 or 15 more cards than all the other kids.
They were signed "your mystery friend" etc. The other kids
looked at her weird.
Guess what, her Mommy snuck into the classroom before school started and put the cards in Karens bag because she "was afraid
that Karen wouldn't have enough friends and might feel bad".
True Story. Karen didn't figure it out until she was in 6th
grade!!
The moral of the story??? What we do in our own homes is one
thing. What we choose to do out in the world...well, I think
that's another! by the way, my Grown Axx Men get Easter Bowls at home.
Yep, big cereal bowls with goodies including a baby chocolate
rabbit! LOL DDD
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
DDD...you are a closet softie!
I think I do the things I do because I just enjoy giving the boys something on the holidays. I make it age appropriate and they stopped getting stuffed bunny's long ago. Their basket may be something that is useful to them at the time. A baseball cap one year, a tackle box, etc.
As far as when Cory was in group homes, I always just checked with the "parents" and normally they had no problem with me sending pre-packaged candy for them to give out. Many times Cory was also home for holidays. But things like Halloween, I would send in bags of candy for them to pass out. I like to help...lol.
I think I do the things I do because I just enjoy giving the boys something on the holidays. I make it age appropriate and they stopped getting stuffed bunny's long ago. Their basket may be something that is useful to them at the time. A baseball cap one year, a tackle box, etc.
As far as when Cory was in group homes, I always just checked with the "parents" and normally they had no problem with me sending pre-packaged candy for them to give out. Many times Cory was also home for holidays. But things like Halloween, I would send in bags of candy for them to pass out. I like to help...lol.
tinamarie1
Member
I like the idea of checking with the home and seeing if they allow treats for all of the boys, and you bringing in that. I love doing stuff like easter baskets and stockings. I have even done a basket for my parents one year they were letting easy child and I live with them while husband was overseas. It would be very hard for me to just let the holiday go by without doing anything for my kids. No matter what they had done in the past. I know Im a pushover, or whatever....but thats just me.
Tina
Tina
donna723
Well-Known Member
I think that's a good idea. If you still want to do it, you could check with the home first to see if Easter treats are allowed at all. They may not be. If they are allowed, you could send enough (anonymously) for all the kids, to be passed out by the staff. The ones who ordinarily wouldn't get anything would probably like it and that way your own son wouldn't be singled out as the lucky one getting all the "stuff" from the generous parents!
:thumb:
:thumb:
Well I wanted to add my 2 cents worth LOL.
The first time in 20 years I didn't do baskets, I thought the same thing they won't want it, they are too old for this.
Well let me tell you about disappointment, they said it didn't feel like Easter to them without their baskets. So this year I decided I was going to do one big basket and throw all the goodies together! Each will get a card with maybe lottery tickets or some cash.
First, I would check with group home to make sure it is ok, I'm sure they will (if it is ok) know if parents send in baskets. If not, or if only a few get them, send in a big one (if your heart desires) for him to share. This will also make him feel special when he can share his goodies with others who may not have the mom you are.
I also don't believe that holidays should be part of the package on what is given and what isn't. I think it should be separate, but that's my opinion. No matter what my boys did to me, I always included holidays for them. It's just what you feel may be the right thing for you, it is an individual thing and I don't see wrong in either way, but I just know in my heart I could not give something if I was allowed to by the group home.
The first time in 20 years I didn't do baskets, I thought the same thing they won't want it, they are too old for this.
Well let me tell you about disappointment, they said it didn't feel like Easter to them without their baskets. So this year I decided I was going to do one big basket and throw all the goodies together! Each will get a card with maybe lottery tickets or some cash.
First, I would check with group home to make sure it is ok, I'm sure they will (if it is ok) know if parents send in baskets. If not, or if only a few get them, send in a big one (if your heart desires) for him to share. This will also make him feel special when he can share his goodies with others who may not have the mom you are.
I also don't believe that holidays should be part of the package on what is given and what isn't. I think it should be separate, but that's my opinion. No matter what my boys did to me, I always included holidays for them. It's just what you feel may be the right thing for you, it is an individual thing and I don't see wrong in either way, but I just know in my heart I could not give something if I was allowed to by the group home.
Suz
(the future) MRS. GERE
This doesn't have anything to do with age, in my humble opinion. Heck, my Mom made me an Easter basket for as long as I spent Easter with her...regardless of age. If Rob was going to be here for Easter I'd give him a basket and he's 22.
I said in my first post that CaMom can do the basket...it should just be given to him when he gets home. Use it as an incentive to do what he's supposed to have been doing all this time and that is to EARN a home pass. To EARN some of these privileges- like being part of his family, to be home.
The whole point of him being away is to learn some lessons, real-life experiences, to regain his position in the family and in society. I think there's a chance that the focus is being lost here. Something needs to set fire under his backside to work towards this goal. If an Easter basket does it, that's great!
Suz
I said in my first post that CaMom can do the basket...it should just be given to him when he gets home. Use it as an incentive to do what he's supposed to have been doing all this time and that is to EARN a home pass. To EARN some of these privileges- like being part of his family, to be home.
The whole point of him being away is to learn some lessons, real-life experiences, to regain his position in the family and in society. I think there's a chance that the focus is being lost here. Something needs to set fire under his backside to work towards this goal. If an Easter basket does it, that's great!
Suz
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
I stopped doing baskets when my kids reached the age of 14. Egg hunt stopped at the same time.
*okay, don't everyone throw eggs at me at once*
I'm a meanie. But I wouldn't relent. My adult kids don't get stockings either.
But until this year I've always done a big dinner. If anyone wants to color eggs I won't object. And because my kids have an unholy attraction for peeps chicks and bunnies you can usually find them around at Easter.
Once I had the grandkids, well then I went to town. :smile:
I know stepgfg never bought Kayla and Alex a basket while they were here. And per request I've done my best to keep control of myself with Darrin and Aubrey..... Honestly, I have. Really, you must believe me.... Just because both Darrin and Aubrey have enough easter goodies to fill TWO baskets, is that MY fault? And doesn't every baby girl need 2 easter dresses complete with bonnets and patent leather shoes to match?? And of course the Easter Bunny always visits Nana's house to hide eggs. Nana has the biggest yard.....
Hmmmmm, and I did have my eye on an adorable lil boy's easter outfit the other day.....
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Both easy child and N have demanded I STOP already. :rofl:
I ask you, what are Nana's for??
But there will be no easter dinner made by me this year. School starts back before easter, so I'm sure I'll be drowning in homework.
I really am fighting hard not to buy Darrin that outfit. easy child has the money and can get it for him if she wants. But it isn't easy. Aubrey got her dresses because N can't buy them for the baby. Everytime I tell myself that's enough I find some other adorable inexpensive thing for their baskets. So I'm trying to avoid the stores til easter is over. :blush:
*okay, don't everyone throw eggs at me at once*
I'm a meanie. But I wouldn't relent. My adult kids don't get stockings either.
But until this year I've always done a big dinner. If anyone wants to color eggs I won't object. And because my kids have an unholy attraction for peeps chicks and bunnies you can usually find them around at Easter.
Once I had the grandkids, well then I went to town. :smile:
I know stepgfg never bought Kayla and Alex a basket while they were here. And per request I've done my best to keep control of myself with Darrin and Aubrey..... Honestly, I have. Really, you must believe me.... Just because both Darrin and Aubrey have enough easter goodies to fill TWO baskets, is that MY fault? And doesn't every baby girl need 2 easter dresses complete with bonnets and patent leather shoes to match?? And of course the Easter Bunny always visits Nana's house to hide eggs. Nana has the biggest yard.....
Hmmmmm, and I did have my eye on an adorable lil boy's easter outfit the other day.....
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Both easy child and N have demanded I STOP already. :rofl:
I ask you, what are Nana's for??
But there will be no easter dinner made by me this year. School starts back before easter, so I'm sure I'll be drowning in homework.
I really am fighting hard not to buy Darrin that outfit. easy child has the money and can get it for him if she wants. But it isn't easy. Aubrey got her dresses because N can't buy them for the baby. Everytime I tell myself that's enough I find some other adorable inexpensive thing for their baskets. So I'm trying to avoid the stores til easter is over. :blush:
CAmom
Member
Suz, just wanted you and everyone else interested to know that we're going with your (and several others') approach.
IF he doesn't earn a home visit over Easter, which I'm certainly not counting on, we're sending him a card telling him that we love him and will miss him and that the Easter basket that I'm going to make for him will be waiting for him on his next visit home.
IF he doesn't earn a home visit over Easter, which I'm certainly not counting on, we're sending him a card telling him that we love him and will miss him and that the Easter basket that I'm going to make for him will be waiting for him on his next visit home.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
That sounds reasonable and yes...we did get a bit off focus. I think the easter bunny must have hijacked us!
