amazeofgrace
A maze of Grace - that about sums it up
one of the main reasons I have returned to the boards, is I feel like I am rapidly backslidding. I am getting more and more depressed by the day. Gaining weight like crazy. And I feel quite hopeless.
difficult child II has been rapid cycling and each day he gets worse and worse. I know a stay at the hospital again is in the near future. This morning I was punched and kicked and swared at, and all because I wanted him to go to school.
difficult child I is failing 9th grade again. And I feel another run in with the law is emminent with him. He is stubborn and unmotivated in every way shape and form. And in 1 1/2 years he's 18, geesh, that's scarey.
I feel like I am barely surviving raising my kids. How sad is that??
S2BX calls once a week to talk to the kids. He is very cold and quick with me. I know now that he's sober, he is blaming me. And I, the fool, keep questioning if I did the "right" thing. I know the answer. I know I am nuts for entertaining these thoughts. But I did/do love the man. But reality is he was and always will be abusive, sober or not. It will take him years to work through all his issues. I get a knot everytime I look at the calendar and realize he's getting out of rehab in just 3 1/2 months.
I was listening to the song "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson. It made me think of S2BX and it also made me reflect on both my difficult child's.I cried buckets.
UGH I think I am premenopausal or something.
thank you for listening to me rattle
difficult child II has been rapid cycling and each day he gets worse and worse. I know a stay at the hospital again is in the near future. This morning I was punched and kicked and swared at, and all because I wanted him to go to school.
difficult child I is failing 9th grade again. And I feel another run in with the law is emminent with him. He is stubborn and unmotivated in every way shape and form. And in 1 1/2 years he's 18, geesh, that's scarey.
I feel like I am barely surviving raising my kids. How sad is that??
S2BX calls once a week to talk to the kids. He is very cold and quick with me. I know now that he's sober, he is blaming me. And I, the fool, keep questioning if I did the "right" thing. I know the answer. I know I am nuts for entertaining these thoughts. But I did/do love the man. But reality is he was and always will be abusive, sober or not. It will take him years to work through all his issues. I get a knot everytime I look at the calendar and realize he's getting out of rehab in just 3 1/2 months.
I was listening to the song "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson. It made me think of S2BX and it also made me reflect on both my difficult child's.I cried buckets.
UGH I think I am premenopausal or something.
thank you for listening to me rattle