BBK I am so glad you post to others from your exp as an addict. whatever worked to make you turn around...is truly a blessing.
I do not think ANYONE is a parent emeritus as I said. no experts, never retired unless you cut you child off for life or they cut you off. then are you an expert, is that a success story??
I feel some of those being too harsh on others has been a trend in posts to parents of older offspring...that sent me off this board as well. I also think anyone can at the very least be supportive and compassionate even if they have never been there done that themselves.
sometimes with an addict, it does not turn around. no matter what is tried. you still love your offspring, they may continue their ways and you change yours but you WILL see and know them and what is going on in their life. everywoman painted a very good picture of their choice for their son.
by the way a short lesson for susie...LOL
jail means a county jail...so different than prisons.
most jails only hold those incarcerated for about 2 yrs. they are holding tanks with little programs to offer and no indepth studies of the men to determine their security needs, not much in the way of any services and usually run by each county. only AA mtgs if some outsider comes in and it is rare. one psychologist who you wait months to see. no counseling. most men are in cells 23/7 as they are overcrowded. during free time they are all in one room and they argue and the TV blasts, noisy as all get out, drugs are sold in most jails AND prisons. drives you nuts. people steal even your toothbrush as when the cells are open, men wander in and take stuff. diff jails have diff personalities as determined by those who run them.
prisons are run by the federal government and each state then follows state guidelines as well. prisons all work about the same way in processing the incoming, the men are evaluated for about 4 weeks for what is their situation physically, mentally, and how dangerous are they, how long they are staying, what programs would benefit them. much bigger biz. most look like stacked tiers of caged men. some also have dorm areas-for a while Tony was in a dorm of 80 men-picture cramped tiny beds, men throwing urine and feces if they get the chance, while you are trying to sleep, some talk all night, many are mentally ill and not receiving the services they decided on, because it takes months to get care unless it is an emergency. pluses are they get to go outside once a day, to the gym for a bit each day and to a library (with tons of used torn books). they can have their own radio or TV with headphones so there is less noise. (if they can get a signal, afford the TV or radio and must also pay for cable TV-most cannot afford like my son cannot afford-they simply read more books) there are schedules and times to be places. some men are staying for life and have jobs, they get pennies per hour. some are sitting waiting for programs to begin, everyone is crowded and the punishments are more severe, all have gun carrying COs, the bigger yards have Yard Gunners with permission to shoot if need be. much more serious biz.
in PA they do not call them prisons anymore. they called them SCI followed by the name of the town they are in. SCI means State Correctional Institute. (wishing they truly could "correct" anyone)
