Bump in the road...

[PatriotsGirl]

Something is definitely up. I have kept on her about calling the director to make sure she can go back. While I do see that her and the director texted yesterday, difficult child never told me what the outcome was. I have a MAJOR feeling that she has relapsed and is not going back. She slept during the day yesterday and was on the phone all night again. I just tried calling and she is not picking up. Time to put my boundaries up and mourn my daughter all over again. I just can't keep going through this.

She was doing so good. She was becoming a part of the family again. And she chooses living as a homeless drug addict loser instead.

 

[Signorina]

I know how hard it is to accept that, because its not acceptable , You can't make sense of the senseless. Don't try.

Know we are here, we care. we get it. I am so sorry she has broken your faith in her.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Just heard from her and she claims the director didn't call her. I told her that I saw they texted and what did she say on the text - difficult child said the text said she would call her. So I texted director to find the truth...soooo tired of this.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

It gets better, here is the text I just got from difficult child:

"Unfortunately, look, things aren't going good right now. I can't talk to you about it. I really can't talk about it. I don't need you to worry about me anymore than you do. But "sober house" isn't safe for me to be right now. I want to go back, I need to go back, but I need to talk to "director" to see what she says."

I don't get it...

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I asked if she relapsed and this is what she said:

"This M (a hole) thing is more than him just being locked up. These people know where I live. M can't pay off his debt because he is in jail. That debt is now why they are trying to find me and the other people he loves. No, I have yet to relaps, I can't, I need to talk to director."

This is getting a little nuts now. I don't find it hard to believe people are looking for them. He was dealing and got locked up. Who knows the people he was involved with.

I asked her if getting out of the state would help. I have no clue where I would send her, but willing to try to find an option if this is the truth...

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I am getting a bit worried. This is the last text when I asked her if leaving the state would help:

"These people search family trees and map out. I don't know how they do it, but I've seen it. There's nothing you or I can do about it. The debt is $20,000. They will kill him as soon as he goes to prison. I've made these decisions in the past and now I have to accept what ever happens".

I then asked what if it wasn't family that she went to and she says:

"Then they will come find you all. This isn't fair for any of you and I am refusing to let that happen."

I then told her I would simply blow theirs heads off.

She says "it is not 7 or 20 people, it is a cartel. A family."

What in the world do I do now?? Especially if this **** is true...?

 

[Nancy]

Oh dear, prayers to both you and AG this morning.

Nancy

 

[toughlovin]

Oh PG I am so sorry... sorry for all of us going through our difficult children being homeless drug addicts!!

But I really think you should talk to the director... something is way off about the stories your difficult child is telling you.

It is so hard when we know our difficult children lie through their teeth, but often their lies have some shred of truth in them and so we have no real idea of what part we should believe or not believe...

TL

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Oh PG I am so sorry... sorry for all of us going through our difficult children being homeless drug addicts!!

But I really think you should talk to the director... something is way off about the stories your difficult child is telling you.

It is so hard when we know our difficult children lie through their teeth, but often their lies have some shred of truth in them and so we have no real idea of what part we should believe or not believe...

TL

She has been telling me about this debt and the cartel for a little while now. I am worried that it is true. And if it is, maybe she can aid the authorities and go into a witness protection program? I know she won't. I am getting scared for her. I don't like this. I would put her on a plane in a heartbeat if I had somewhere to send her to.

 

[toughlovin]

The thing is you dont know what is true and what isn't... and you dont know what she truly believes and what is reality. That is what makes it so hard, it is like you are dealing with this weird web of ick that you cant get out of.... it is why a part of me is glad that I dont really know what is going on with my difficult child. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

My heart feels for you PG.... this stuff is so darned hard. I hope you hear from the director and that he can give you a sense of what is really going on.

TL

 

[PatriotsGirl]

The thing is you dont know what is true and what isn't... and you dont know what she truly believes and what is reality. That is what makes it so hard, it is like you are dealing with this weird web of ick that you cant get out of.... it is why a part of me is glad that I dont really know what is going on with my difficult child. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

My heart feels for you PG.... this stuff is so darned hard. I hope you hear from the director and that he can give you a sense of what is really going on.

TL

She is not at the sober house and I don't think she is going back. She says it is not safe there. I don't know what she is going to do. She said she is tossing the cellphone and getting another one. I'm cautious but honestly, with the scum she has been involved with for the past couple of years, I would not be surprised if it was true.

I told my husband that I am applying for my license to carry.

 

[lovemysons]

OH Geez PG,
I am so sorry this is all happening. I am sending up prayers.

hugs,
LMS

 

[PatriotsGirl]

It is bad. Real bad. I was on the phone with her for an hour. She gave me way too much information for me not to believe her and I looked up the name of it and it is labeled as THE most dangerous gang in the country. I believe her and I don't think she relapsed. I knew last time deep down that she did, but this time I know deep down she hasn't. She says she can't as she is scared enough as it is and using would send her over the edge completely.

She didn't want to tell me any of this. But she came to the conclusion that I would either think she was blowing everything off and going back to that life or she could tell me the truth. She said she received a phone call from a blocked number (which I was able to see on the phone records) and it was one of the cartel saying they were staking out the apartment and gave her the address to where she was staying.

I am just kind of numb right now with the wealth of knowledge she gave me. I now know where she stayed when she left home, some of the things she has done and some of the consequences she is now dealing with. She was living with this cartel.

I know it is all hard to believe and sounds like a movie, but I honestly believe she is telling the the truth and it is scarier than anything I could have imagined. I don't know what I can do to help her.

 

[toughlovin]

Oh PG I feel for you and am scared for you and her. It sounds like it is time to get the police invovled??? I know that probably feels real risky for her and for you but this sounds like something she needs bigger help with. I guess my one question is why are they after her? Did she steal money or drugs from them?

TL

 

[Nancy]

Can you convince her to go to the police? If she is not using and has no drugs on her then she can't be arrested for anything. Can she meet you somewhere and go with you to the police?

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Oh PG I feel for you and am scared for you and her. It sounds like it is time to get the police invovled??? I know that probably feels real risky for her and for you but this sounds like something she needs bigger help with. I guess my one question is why are they after her? Did she steal money or drugs from them?

TL

She hooked a hole up with them and vouched for him to them. When a hole went to jail, he owed the cartel 20k. The debt is now on her head. She says she has tried talking to police and they won't listen and it would make it worse for her. She is in a hidden place and she said believe it or not, she is right under their nose. I'm terrified for her and wish I had the 20k to pay them off. She is not sure even that is going to cut it at this point. She doesn't know what to do and she says she doesn't expect me to know nor does she want me involved in any way. This is all so surreal...I'm still in shock and trying to process all of this...

 

[AmericanGirl]

OMG PG....I wish we lived closer. I'm praying long and hard for a peaceful resolution.

 

[recoveringenabler]

I'm speechless..............praying for your difficult child and for you, do you think calling the director of the sober house just to talk to someone who is, generally speaking, knowledgeable, perhaps he/she could offer you some guidance or support, or a direction to go in, .............something...........?

 

[Nancy]

I would call the police myself and see what they say to you. I would think they know about a drug cartel in their area.

 

[DDD]

Sadly I am not comfortable suggesting the involvement of the police. Sorry bout that. If you "knew" that there was decency and caring in the heart of your contact it would be worth it. on the other hand, sorry, the mob mentality of law enforcement frightens me. I remember very vividly the FSU female student who got roped into being an informant in Florida. The end of the story is ugly. I really wish I believed in the "good guys" do "good things" theory. I no longer do.

So...rightly or wrongly...I am wondering if you have any relative or dear friend who would open their arms to her during this stressful time. Is ther anyone?? Hugs DDD