Called The Police This Morning

[keista]

Sounds very much like DD1. She doesn't want to talk about anything unless she brings up the topic, and shocker, it's never about her feelings or behavior.

 

[Marguerite]

I'd tell him the therapist already knows and will have made a small note of it in the files. If difficult child goes, then he gets the chance to put his side of the story and ask the therapist for help on the best way to handle how he feels in this situation. It's not about right or wrong, it's about how we cope with day to day pressures.

That cop sounds like a keeper!

Marg

 

[amazeofgrace]

oh sweetie, I can only say I completely understand. Asking him to try on the jeans was merely a trigger for something much bigger at play, and you will probably never know what it was. My difficult child II is now 15 and in his 1st residential placement after many years of emergency psychiatric evaluations, calling the police, inhome therapists, art therapist, behavior therapists, IOP's etc etc etc. Hang in there. Just know you're doing the best you can and don't let him manipulate you

 

[Bunny]

What he said to me yesterday was that he felt that he was at a "standstill" with this therapist (the therapist and I don't agree, but that's another story), so I asked him this morning, calmly and quietly, if he really felt that way would he consider seeing a different therapist. He said no, that he only wants to see this therapist. I pointed out to him that he's been telling me since yesterday that he won't go back to that therapist, so he clarified his position. He wants to see this therapist, but he feels that he's at a stand still because all we talk about is him, him him! According to difficult child I'm the one with all of the problems now. I'm the one who always starts fighting with him and I'm the one who is always at fault. If I went to the therapist to work on my own problems then he would be willing to go back. He doesn't feel that any of his recent physical behavior needs to be talked about or addressed because both of those incidents were totally my fault (never mind the fact that when I called the police on Sunday it was his FATHER who he was getting physical with and cursing at). I suggested that he return to the therapist to explain his feeling about this to the therapist because I'm sure that this is something that the therapist would want to hear from him, but difficult child said that I'm the one with the problems and I should be the one to tell the therapist why he won't go back right now.

Really?

I was in contact with the therapist yesterday and he is very concerned about this recent downward behavior spiral that difficult child is having. He finds the fact that he went right back to rude and disrespectful the minute the officer left the house "alarming" and he thinks that I need to alert the psychiatrist about it. So, that is one of my phone calls today. I'll have to call the therapist to let him know about difficult child's latest comments on him going back to therapy. Hopefully we'll be able to figure something out.

therapist really feels that we are seeing the beginnings of a personality disorder emerging.

 

[DaisyFace]

I was in contact with the therapist yesterday and he is very concerned about this recent downward behavior spiral that difficult child is having. He finds the fact that he went right back to rude and disrespectful the minute the officer left the house "alarming" and he thinks that I need to alert the psychiatrist about it. So, that is one of my phone calls today. I'll have to call the therapist to let him know about difficult child's latest comments on him going back to therapy. Hopefully we'll be able to figure something out.

therapist really feels that we are seeing the beginnings of a personality disorder emerging.

I thought it was pretty alarming, too ( not that I'm a professional or anything)

Your difficult child reminds me of mind in so many ways - yeah, I could see a personaility disorder being diagnosed...

So sorry.

(((Hugs)))

 

[susiestar]

i agree that it was alarming that he wasn't phased a bit by the officer, and it is good that the therapist is alarmed. the psychiatrist trully does need to know about this, preferably sooner rather than later. not sure how to help except make 'do to get' the rule of the house and he 'gets' absolutely nothing above the bare bones legal amt you must let him have unless he 'does' what you want.

 

[rejectedmom]

Awww such a hard time you have been having. I hope therapist can get difficult child to understand how to treat people and a good way to vent his feelings and frustrations. Personality disorders can be treated effectibvely if the indivitual is highly motivated. I hope you find a way to make difficult child realize he wants to change. -RM

 

[Bunny]

RM, that's my big problem right now. He refuses to admit that if he wants to thing to get better (and he says that he does) then he needs to change things. I can't do it for him. There is only so much that I can do.

 

[family mum]

Hi, I hope it's okay to reply to this even though it is on the second page of threads and there hasn't been any dialogue for a couple of days, but I feel such a connection to everything that you've written in this thread! it is like our difficult children are the same kid. Obviously there are some things going on in these boys' heads already and what seems like a trigger is really just the last drop in the bucket that sends them over the edge. ( one melt down at our house started because he didn't want his sister to wear purple.) Like you, I am naturally the source of all evil in his world, whatever it is, it's my fault. Like you, having the police come did not freak him out. The 1st time, after they left he announced that it was stupid that they came. The second time (Sat.) he was crying on the couch after they left and my parental instinct to soothe him kicked him. Turns out he was upset because I didn't get in trouble with the police and it wasn't fair that they didn't see that what I do is wrong. ( He had thrown all my tax documents around 5 hours into his melt down, and I, at the end of my rope, had yelled that I was going to kill him. Clearly hyperbole on my part, but not a very smart comment to address to someone with AS.) Like you, often once the blow up is done, he is all smiles and sunshine, as if nothing had occurred while I feel the effects sometimes still days afterwards. This is a really tough battle, isn't it?! My thoughts are with you.

 

[buddy]

familymum, no problem, this is not that old of a thread! Lots of us can relate. Sorry you are going thru that. I had a thread the other day about Q being worried about dying....turns out I had said, probably in a moment of wanting him to stop doing something because "life is too short"......turns out he says he is worried because I said "life is short"...uggg...

Even more innocent things get twisted by our Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) type kids, any kids who are very rigid in their thinking. It is exhausting.

 

[Bunny]

Family Mum, no problem to your response. At least I know that my kid is not the only one who gets nothing out a visit from the police. Actually, he was so sure that the officer was going to take him away that before the cop got there he had his suitcase out and was starting to pack his clothes! Little does he know, it takes more than one visit from the police to get removed from the house.

And I can completely relate to your difficult child saying that it wasn't fair that you didn't get into trouble with the police. That's a very difficult child thing, I think. I posted this on another thread. It's always someone else's fault. difficult children just never seem to get the whole "you reap what you sow" concept. If you treat others with respect and kindness, you get treated with respect and kindness. If you treat others like crap, you should expect to get treated like crap. That's not how my difficult child thinks, and in all honesty, it's grating on my nerves.