I have a 7 year old son who is very defiant and aggressive with me. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and is on Adderall. I have tried a lot of different counseling and am now seeing an attachment counselor. She thinks he has insecure attachment but not Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).
The attachment approach is a lot different than other approaches I've tried. I'm wondering if other people have tried this approach and if it has worked for them? This approach doesn't believe consequences are really effective, they just make the child worse and seek revenge. That is the part I struggle with, not holding him accountable for his behavior in some way. However, I tried consequences but it didn't work but I wasn't totally consistent either.
Also, his dad who has him about 2 days a week totally believes in consequences and is not behind the attachment approach at all. difficult child does not act out with him so his dad thinks that is proof that his way is the right way. Is he right or does difficult child just save it up for me and keep it together when he's with his dad? I think he's scared of his dad and doesn't feel safe enough to act out with him.
Thanks for any thoughts you have about this!
The attachment approach is a lot different than other approaches I've tried. I'm wondering if other people have tried this approach and if it has worked for them? This approach doesn't believe consequences are really effective, they just make the child worse and seek revenge. That is the part I struggle with, not holding him accountable for his behavior in some way. However, I tried consequences but it didn't work but I wasn't totally consistent either.
Also, his dad who has him about 2 days a week totally believes in consequences and is not behind the attachment approach at all. difficult child does not act out with him so his dad thinks that is proof that his way is the right way. Is he right or does difficult child just save it up for me and keep it together when he's with his dad? I think he's scared of his dad and doesn't feel safe enough to act out with him.
Thanks for any thoughts you have about this!