difficult child#1 wants me to attend a new church with him..

[Kathy813]

DDD,

We stopped going to church when the kids were grown and like you I enjoy a lazy Sunday morning. It's my favorite time of the week. However, if difficult child asked me to go with her I would go in a heartbeat even if it wasn't a church that I liked or was my denomination. I think belonging to a church family would be a good thing for any difficult child and could possibly be a place for support and acceptance. . . not to mention a better group of people to hang with than the type that difficult child usually associates with.

~Kathy

 

[DDD]

I agree Kathy. Any outside positive influence is welcomed. I'm crossing my fingers that he follows through. That's about the best I can do. I don't want to get my hopes up...and I, of course, have only shared my personal feelings with "the family". Isn't it a bit like living a double life? Have to laugh at myself sometimes because as soon as I have some "heavy" or "uncomfortable" thoughts......I head here. Sigh. DDD

 

[HaoZi]

Not strange at all, you know there are friends here and we're waiting to hear how it goes.

 

[Andy]

I think a visit is a visit. He may be feeling very good about being there on Sunday mornings and wants to show you what is making him happy these days. If asked if you will be returning or want to join, you can respond, "I am visiting today. I do have my own church and am not looking to switch." You can let difficult child know it was a bit loud and strong for you but you are happy that he likes it there.

Go a bit early so he can give you a tour of the building. Ask if there are any groups there he meets with on other days.

It is o.k. to let him know that it may be too loud and fast and strong for your taste but you hope that he gets what he needs out of attendance. If he pushes for your absolute approval, explain that you do not know enough about the teachings of that church to give any opinions for or against, that you want him to be happy. That if he is unsure about anything taught there you will be open to discuss it with him to share your view points but for him to make his own final opinion.

Take it one step at a time. I also understand being uncomfortable. I had a young friend (previous youth director at our church) take me to a large, musicful, dynamic worship service at her new church. The dynamics really pull people in. To me, the message was important about accepting other people and doing the right thing but even in its strength to pump people up, it felt more like a pep rally than a true worship setting that I look for. I like smaller, quieter crowds but to each their own.

 

[lovemysons]

Hi DDD,
Hoping your difficult child finds some comfort in a church group. I think this can be a positive thing for him.
You are such a good mamma/grandma to your difficult child's.

Thinking of you,
LMS