difficult child has gone off the deep end

[Nancy]

Maybe this is what she was referring to when she said she had a lump on her colon. You won't know for sure until and unless you call her. I know you love her and would want to know if she was seriously ill but I also know how hateful she is being towards you. I would try to put that aside and determine whether she is telling the truth about her health. If she is not the pull back again. If she is ill that's a whole different story and you can take it one day at a time as to how much support you are willing and able to give.

I'm so sorry that this is all going on for you. The drama that surrounds her is astounding.

 

[Kathy813]

Nancy, the "lump on the colon" is the only reason I am willing to even consider that this could be true. After she went to the hospital for her iritis and the lump, she said they told her that they thought it was a cyst and it needed to be watched and might need a biopsy. I guess she could extrapolate anal cancer from that. It would have to have been a cyst in that area for her to be able to feel it. I said all along I couldn't see how she could feel a lump on her colon.

I think I will have husband's sister ask difficult child to send her something from a doctor or the hospital showing a diagnosis. If she does, then we will worry about the next step. I am still leaning towards this being a con.

 

[Nancy]

Hemorrhoid??? Yes probably a con. Your head must be spinning.

 

[Kathy813]

Well, it could be a hemorrhoid. difficult child has always been a pain in the you know where.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Have her get a copy of the medical record and send/email/fax it to you. It sounds as if she has lied so much and done so many hurtful things that believing her is almost impossible. However, if you are in doubt, demand proof.
I'm so sorry Kathy, this is tough. I am holding you in my prayers...........

 

[DammitJanet]

jamie has had so many things wrong in that area and not one of them has been cancer. I dont think I would trust her unless she consents to giving the doctor permission to talk to you. I would bet it is either internal hemorrhoids or even a result of her drinking. She also may just be constipated if she is taking any pain medications.

 

[holdinon3]

Protect yourself, Kathy. They are the most hard on those who love them most because they know how much we love them, despite their terrible/unlawful behavior. Maybe it is time to break contact with her and end the manipulation and threats. She certainly knows how to push your buttons (understatement) and get a reaction. It can become like a high to our addicts. You owe her nothing now since she got her money, and you sound like you did everything possible to help her. You are a great mom from what I can see! You can't really do anything now anyway except pray for her. Make the decision to care for and protect yourself from this abuse. You deserve to live in peace. Have a plan and tell her your finished and stick to it. She is a 28 yr old adult. Tell her you'll love and pray for her always but there is nothing more you can do. Sending loving vibes your way--you are not alone.

 

[Kathy813]

Thank you holdinon3. You are exactly right. She is taking all of her frustration out on us and we have had to cut contact completely. We do know through others that she has lost her job and supposedly broken her ankle. We don't believe anything that she says, though, and are in the self-protect mode.

It is so much easier not to hear the phone ring and know it is difficult child and her latest drama and problems (sadly . . . all of which are her own making).

We have told her that we are no longer helping her financially and that we don't want to hear from her unless she is calling from an inpatient treatment program.

 

[Childofmine]

Kathy, I am thinking of you and your husband. It's so sad, and it's so hard to do what you are doing.

But finally, you get to the point when there is absolutely no other thing to do except that. Most of we parents are like "missouri", we have to try it all before we get here. Otherwise, we can't do it. And even then, it's still hard.

I am glad for you both that she is still in Florida. I hope she maintains that physical distance, because physical distance helps.

I don't know about you Kathy, but it helps me to know others are walking the same path I am and have come to the same conclusions I am coming to.

Sometimes I wonder what the point of all of this is, especially when I wake up super-early like today and am still tired.

I guess it is not for us to understand and maybe we will one day. The silver lining I see today is how much I have changed for the better. I wish it had not had to happen at the expense of my son's life, but I am working to trust that God is in charge and God knows the reasons for all that He does.

Blessings and peace and sunshine to you today, Kathy. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps me.

 

[DDD]

Does she have insurance, Kathy? Although it is unlikely that she has cancer (chances are that she has either irregular or unusual BM's and believes it is cancer) I have to share that since I got my colon cancer I have discovered (via cancer boards) that it is not totally unlikely that she "could" have a serious problem. The medical community suggests testing at 50 but...I no longer believe that is accurate. I had easy child/difficult child get tested due to weird habits, abdominal pains and occasional blood. Luckily it was not cancer but they did discover another issue.

If she does not have insurance I assume her Aunt's best bet is to suggest she goes to a clinic to be checked. I am so sorry that your anxiety level has been racheted again. Hugs DDD