If it gets to the point of police coming (resource officer or not), it will be a legal issue for truancy- meaning a hearing before the judge to review his probation and suspended sentence. I also have to bear in mind that with his legal situation, I can end up with charges if I don't make him do what he's supposed to. I see it more as a combination of things- the illnesses plus not trying hard enough.
From what I've seen though, the people who we have to answer to see it as an either/or situation. If PO or police are called, they ignore the health issues. If mental health is concentrated on, it minimizes the court involvement. So, I'm trying to keep it focused in that area while still emphasizing the importance of difficult child trying his best. I just need a little back up from someone else on this since difficult child is listening to me less and less as he gets older- he tends to need to hear the warnings from someone else.
I don't think it has helped matters any that he sees that I have basicly no control over the "big" issues in our lives anymore. The court/PO pretty much dictated things and they are really the ones making the choices for difficult child, except for things like me removing the computer keyboard/mouse, what he eats for dinner, time he goes to bed, etc. That brings me to another thorn in my side- the PO is least educated and youngest and least experienced in all of this, yet most decisions are in her ballpark right now and technically, she is my one and only point of contact that I am supposed to go to with any issue.
Well, she is clueless- she believes depression can be "lectured" or disciplined out of a person, she blames me for everything-she has made so many comments to me that reveal so much ignorance, I cringe at the thought of going to her. Based on my experience with her over the past year, I'm much better off coming up with a solution that I find acceptable so that when we are in court, there is an option to present to the judge other than what the PO proposes/recommends. Otherwise, the PO shoots me down and recommends something absurd to the judge and since no one proposes anything any differently, the judge goes with that.
Really- this PO told me last year that I was wasting my time to have an MDE by a highly reknowned psychiatrist done on difficult child because the judge hadn't ordered me to do it. As it turned out- the judge of course was very interested in seeing the report from that psychiatrist and the judge ultimately ruled based on those recommendations. Then at one point, the PO had told me to just write a letter to the judge explaining my position on something. Come to find out, the judge would never read that letter and shouldn't have- I had to request a re-hearing. But, if I'd just listened to the PO, I never would have known that. She's done many things that make my skin crawl.
I'm thinking about a meeting with the principal and difficult child.
All that being said- I still can no longer ignore that I simply can't afford to keep going like this. I don't have the money. I understand this is a process and I'm happy to still do what I can, but I can't afford for difficult child to live at home right now. I'll look into some things suggested recently on the board and see if I can find any help. I know it takes some time to get things in place, even if they are available. But, until things are going better, I'm drained dry- financially and mentally.
difficult child just came and told me that he thinks he's having a reaction to all these new medications. (That's understandable) He says he feels hyper and jittery and can't sit still. I told him we'll try taking psychiatrist's medications back to where they were. As far as the physical portion- difficult child has to learn that when I tell him to use his allergy medications, he needs to do it. When I tell him to wear a warm shirt or not go out and play in the cold rain, he needs to do it. I realize that stuff is typical teen and he should just learn the hard way. The problem is that in our situation- between difficult child's mental health issues, school issues, and legal issues, on top of my need to get to work- difficult child does not have the luxery of that. I guess I was hoping for too much when I thought he might be able to give it his all in order for me to maintain until we can get our heads above water again. I don't really blame him that he can't, I just have to face that he can't.
I can't go to work and leave him alone for long periods- the PO and judge would have one fit if I did. I assured them he would stay supervised before the judge let him out of juvy.
Sorry this turned into another one of my books- LOL!
