I also miss having my babies. I get nostalgic for the "good ol' days" when they used to throw themselves at me shrieking with delight that I had picked them up (from where ever), the excitement in their little faces when we did the simplest things, baking cookies, decorating the Christmas tree, playing tag. I miss taking them to the park and hearing them say "Mommy watch ME!", I miss them snuggling into bed with me on stormy nights or early on Saturday mornings. I miss vacations, I miss seeing their faces light up with wonder the first time they went to the beach, climbed a tree, slid down a slide, swung on the swingset. I miss bathing their tubby little bodies and having them splash in the bath and giggling at the bubbles. I miss the "I love you Mommy". I miss it all. I miss my little kids.
I DON'T miss the years of sullen anger, the problems with difficult child (now easy child)daugh, and to a lesser extent with son. Those years were miserable and I only have to look back at my journals to remember every horrible moment of it. So I don't.
I like looking at their albums from when they were little and reminiscing. I miss my babies.
Now they are grown and doing well. My son calls every so often to ask my opinion or tell me something exciting in his life. And wonder of wonders, my daughter calls me EVERY DAY sometimes more than once a day, to discuss personal issues, get my views on something she saw on the news (she's a news junkie) or discuss things that are happening in her life or just to gossip. So I do enjoy them very much, just not in the same way. It has been hard for me to let go....
Just to share something funny...the other day I was at my sister's and my niece and nephew (ages 3 & 4) came shrieking down the stairs "Aunt Teri's here, Aunt Teri's here, YAY! YAY!"
My sisters called me to help them in the kitchen and I said no way, I haven't had a reception like that in years and wanted to take the time to savor the joy of my presence that my niece and nephew showered me with.