Due for review

[realangel]

difficult child's review is due in 4 weeks. He has been with the foster carers since mid feb but I just KNOW the SW is again going to try and force me to have him home (Saying he is getting help from mental health services , youth offending team and school).. I still feel he is a threat to us and if i allow him home now he will just abuse me physically and mentally again. Plus theres the issue of protecting everyone else since he assaulted SO and threatened to kill and beat up easy child#1 several times. He is fine with us when he is in the presence of SW, teachers or foster carers but he still refuses to see me (although he wants my money).

How can i get them to see what a threat he still poses? If i tell them we are still scared of him and his actions will they listen, or will they just say nothing has happened physically since he moved out so we should have him back?

I cant sleep because i am getting that anxious about it all now, i thought i was dealing with it fine but with each passing day comes a feeling of impending doom.

 

[KFld]

He refuses to see you?? Doesn't that give them the hint that it's not going to work????

I would be very honest with your feelings about what is going to happen when he moves back home. let them know exactly how scared you are and keep record of it.

 

[realangel]

SW has said 'he can't stay in foster care indefinatly' and hinted that because he isn't working with any of the services set up, and the fact he refuses to see me, that he would be better off with us. Its so frustrating at the moment, we had to fight to get the help.. in the end they only agreed to help us because he is on the special needs register and attends a school for boys with behavior, emotional and social difficulties. They were saying at one point it was up to US to find the placement!!

 

[Suz]

Lisa, I don't know the laws there. What would happen if you refused to let him move home?

Suz

 

[Sunlight]

I hope things work out in a way that makes you comfortable, Lisa. be sure to keep speaking your mind!

 

[realangel]

If i keep on refusing to have him back i don't know what they will do. They keep trying to tell me he is 'not their responsibility' but school and other professionals are saying he is because of his SEN status. One social worker said to me 'he is YOUR son, therefore YOU have a responsibility for his welfare' i told her that i also have a responsibility to the other children in my home, and that having him here would endanger them.. she didn't care. she told me i was turning my back on him. They pull every nasty trick in the book but it DOES wear you down. I will just keep on battling and if they threaten me with court action for neglect I'll let them take me to court.. and take the photo's of the damage/weapons/ suicide threats with me, plus get the school and police reports.

 

[KFld]

Just keep and record everything. Sounds like you may have a battle ahead of you, but you sound prepared.