PlainJane
Every dog has his day....
My difficult child is only 5, almost 6. Every interaction ends in a fight.
Ask him nicely how his day went...he gets annoyed, asks inapproriate questions, contradicts himself, lies.
Ask him to do something (please put on your shoes) and screaming, yelling, or maybe odd questions.
He asks questions through out the say that he knows the answers to, say something (I want to watch tv) then respods with the opposite if he is answered (Ok what would you like to watch?...difficult child-->"I don't want to watch tv!)
He makes rude comments frequesntly, and many other kids think he's mean, but in his head he's not. He lies and recalls events that just happened in warped ways, always editing out his actions that were negative.
Its just like he's always angry and looking for a fight. This is not just stating fact, or aspie stuff, he is mean and mad and looking for a fight, his tone is angry and the more upset the other person gets, he laughs and enjoys it.
Its to the point I don't want to talk to him. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should do parent / child therapy? Our whole family basically cringes at his presence, which is so sad. When he goes to school that when me, husband, and little brother go out to lunch or shopping. We can not do that with difficult child around because he causes a scene everywhere. Everything is stressful with him.
What seems to be the case is there is some kind of personality disorder or mental illness...his doctor and child study team agree there is more going on than high functioning autism, but don;t really know what to do this young, but wait to see what emerges..
I just feel so guilty, I just get so frustrated. It seems like other moms with these kind of kids are so much more patient, more understanding of it being a disorder...I just keep thinking I can discipline this out of him or talk to him or do enough social stories ...like I can make it stop and it doesn't, and the older he gets the more obvious his behavoir is becoming compared to his peers, and he's not making friends...and he can't possibly feel loved at home. We all fight all the time. Even his little brother tells difficult child to go away. I don't blame him. difficult child is so mean to him and fights with him. The family is starting to shy away from him. I don't know what to do. Isolating him cannot do anything but make this worse, but really his personality is, god I feel awful saying this, so unpleasant 98% of the time.
We try to do things with him like legos, not super interactive, but we are "playing" side by side, which he enjoys, or coloring...board games are out of the question. But things we can do seperately together. But even then, things end with insults and fights...
Maybe he does have a personality disorder, i don't know yet, but what do we do??? We are his family, we should provide him love and support because lord knows he's going to have a hard time at school and in life, but he makes everyone so miserable....and I feel like his brother should not be subjected to difficult child verbal abuse (brother is only 3)
Sorry just needed to vent.......
Ask him nicely how his day went...he gets annoyed, asks inapproriate questions, contradicts himself, lies.
Ask him to do something (please put on your shoes) and screaming, yelling, or maybe odd questions.
He asks questions through out the say that he knows the answers to, say something (I want to watch tv) then respods with the opposite if he is answered (Ok what would you like to watch?...difficult child-->"I don't want to watch tv!)
He makes rude comments frequesntly, and many other kids think he's mean, but in his head he's not. He lies and recalls events that just happened in warped ways, always editing out his actions that were negative.
Its just like he's always angry and looking for a fight. This is not just stating fact, or aspie stuff, he is mean and mad and looking for a fight, his tone is angry and the more upset the other person gets, he laughs and enjoys it.
Its to the point I don't want to talk to him. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should do parent / child therapy? Our whole family basically cringes at his presence, which is so sad. When he goes to school that when me, husband, and little brother go out to lunch or shopping. We can not do that with difficult child around because he causes a scene everywhere. Everything is stressful with him.
What seems to be the case is there is some kind of personality disorder or mental illness...his doctor and child study team agree there is more going on than high functioning autism, but don;t really know what to do this young, but wait to see what emerges..
I just feel so guilty, I just get so frustrated. It seems like other moms with these kind of kids are so much more patient, more understanding of it being a disorder...I just keep thinking I can discipline this out of him or talk to him or do enough social stories ...like I can make it stop and it doesn't, and the older he gets the more obvious his behavoir is becoming compared to his peers, and he's not making friends...and he can't possibly feel loved at home. We all fight all the time. Even his little brother tells difficult child to go away. I don't blame him. difficult child is so mean to him and fights with him. The family is starting to shy away from him. I don't know what to do. Isolating him cannot do anything but make this worse, but really his personality is, god I feel awful saying this, so unpleasant 98% of the time.
We try to do things with him like legos, not super interactive, but we are "playing" side by side, which he enjoys, or coloring...board games are out of the question. But things we can do seperately together. But even then, things end with insults and fights...
Maybe he does have a personality disorder, i don't know yet, but what do we do??? We are his family, we should provide him love and support because lord knows he's going to have a hard time at school and in life, but he makes everyone so miserable....and I feel like his brother should not be subjected to difficult child verbal abuse (brother is only 3)
Sorry just needed to vent.......