Ew

[DammitJanet]

One thing I refuse to do is feel like a zombie. You might think I would considering all the medications I am on but I dont. A psychiatrist tried to take my then current medications from me and put me on lithium and zyprexa and it was awful. I did feel like a zombie and I gained over 65 pounds in 2 months. Also taking me off one of my medications...then putting me back on it...made that medication not work as well no matter what dose I tried. That experience made me know I would never let that happen again. Even with that psychiatrist, after the disaster with his medication cocktail, I stood up and made him listen to me. I told him only I knew my body and I knew I had been on those other medications for 5 years and they worked. If he needed proof he could get my chart from my previous psychiatrist. That idiot psychiatrist refused to get my chart but finally did put me back on some of the medications. I was never so happy to get insurance so I could go back to my good psychiatrist.

I have been with the good psychiatrist since 2000 I think and we have a great relationship. In fact, just recently we put me on adderall and removed the topamax because it wasnt working anymore. As he said, if I can handle the adderall we will keep me on it. So far Im fine, in fact my mood has improved. However, Im not really ADD...as he said "just between us we will use the adderall to try to help you lose some weight." But actually I think I might have a touch of ADD because Im the only one I know who can take basically speed and go back to sleep for a couple of hours! It also hasnt effected my sleeping at night one bit. I have stopped eating as much though!

 

[scent of cedar]

"The unconscious sends all sorts or vapors, odd beings, terrors, and deluding images up into the mind ~ whether in dream, broad daylight, or insanity, for the human kingdom, beneath the floor of the comparatively neat little dwelling that we call our consciousness, goes down into unsuspected Aladdin caves. There not only jewels but also dangerous jinn abide: the inconvenient or resisted psychological powers that we have not dared to integrate into our lives."

Joseph Campbell
Hero with a Thousand Faces

I have Joseph Campbell on my FB. This came up, yesterday. I thought it was interesting that it should come up just as we were talking about similar things, here.

:O)

Recovering, thank you for sharing your story with me. I will tell difficult child. I have started this response so many times that I am not sure whether I already posted this part, but difficult child had tattoos to open the head chakra just after she shaved her head. She had been told to take extra care, because it would be difficult to maintain an even emotional keel once the chakra tattoo was placed. Not to say that had anything to do with what has happened?

But I wondered about that.

Latest for us is that the 14 year old (who has been living with her stepfather) is coming home. The plan is that she will stay with her mom and real father. If things go badly, she will come to live with us. It is interesting to watch my reactions. Believing for the best is a good thing. I have learned that, in most states, there are programs to help defray the cost of raising a grandchild. It isn't much? But the child would have medical and dental coverage. There are some programs which provide three to four hundred dollars a month for the extra expenses involved in raising a child who wants to be involved in sports or dance. I will start a separate post on that topic.

Also, have been reading Daring Greatly. I am to the part about gratitude. I remember Simple Abundance. The author's suggestion was to begin a gratitude journal. Listing five things every day that we are grateful for really does change our outlook and thus, our perceptions of happiness in our lives. During these past weeks, I have been practicing these kinds of things (along with the Osteen materials.) Though we have continued to be challenged in the strangest, most unexpected ways, we feel stronger than we did last winter.

I remember Joel Osteen's (and Recovering's) imagery of envisioning the at-risk person in the palms of God's hands. That imagery is so helpful.

Joel Osteen also talks about having a disciplined mind. This is true for me, too. I am learning to replace that imagery of the worst with imagery of the best.

And that has been a really good thing to try.

So, that's my update.

:O)

Cedar

 

[scent of cedar]

Skotti, wishing the best for you with this new mix of medications. difficult child put on weight too, when she was taking the lithium. It could be that three months from now Skotti, you will have taken charge of those issues, and will be feeling better than you have in years.

That is what I wish for you.

:O)

 

[recoveringenabler]

Thanks for the update Barbara. Interesting developments about your granddaughter.........well, perhaps you, like me, will be raising a teenage girl...........holy moly. Quite the learning experience!

The story about the tattoo on your daughter's head is also interesting. There is so much we don't know, so much is a mystery. Years ago while traveling through the Amazon jungle in Peru, I met a Culandero (Shaman, healer) who worked on my chronic back pain and just as he told me would happen, within a couple of weeks after he worked on me, ALL the pain was gone. For years Dr's and everyone else told me that I would ALWAYS be in pain. Go figure. There is a lot we can't explain or even understand........it's seems reasonable to me to keep an open mind and not get trapped in what I "think" I know to be true. It sure takes practice to think that way, but geez, at least for me, it opens a lot of doors of perceptions previously nailed shut by my own judgments..............

"....There not only jewels but also dangerous jinn abide: the inconvenient or resisted psychological powers that we have not dared to integrate into our lives." Wonderful quote Barbara, thank you for sharing it. It relates to what I've learned....... that all that isn't integrated runs us, out of our awareness, all that unconscious material, the "shadow", the dark side, the ego...........underneath our facades of "normal" can wreck havoc and harm and we don't even have a clue...........conversely, not recognizing/integrating our beauty and brilliance is the flip side and as destructive and sad.

We humans have quite the shaky landscape to maneuver to become whole and healthy............no wonder so many of us fall off the wagon on our way to greatness! I think seeing so many 'broken and wounded' people in my family, so many floating fragments of the whole, made my quest for wholeness and healing such a driving force.................

Feeling gratitude sure beats much of what we could be feeling! I recall reading that Oprah said that keeping a gratitude journal was the single biggest life changing event in her life. I've also read that feelings of gratitude can shift our brains and our physiology in ways that are extremely positive and healing. It really is amazing how much power we have to change our own lives...........with how and what we think.

 

[scent of cedar]

I liked that one too, Recovering. :O)

I feel a little like one of those lumberjacks balancing over a series of logs cascading toward the rapids.

I have the strength and agility I need.

But it's a lot like that old saying about going to China? You know the one. "I always knew I would follow this path. What I did not know is that it would be today."

Oy.

Things are going very well.

Cedar