Fighting with his pancakes

[Mrs Smith]

My son does this too. I try to diffuse it with humor - Did that wall jump out at you again? Then I'll suggest a solution like maybe try slowing down around corners and staying in the middle of the hall next time.

It has to be very frustrating not to be able to get your body to do what you want it to do and be painfully aware that you can't do it easily when everyone else around you can.

 

[tired Cheryl]

SRL, Thanks. That really helps me to understand and makes total sense. (the coming home from school and hitting his sister analogy happened every day when he was in school but didn't wiat for home-he would instantly attack her as soon as she would get into the vehicle which was humilating as all of the folks in the school parking lot would witness me pulling him off of her-I changed seating arrangements and that helped somewhat)

Actually, come to think of it I wish that we had more of the taking it out on inanimate objects since I am the target most of the time.

Hopefloats-Hi and welcome glad that you understand where I am coming from!

Veterans from the trenches please be patient with us as we try to understand what is going on with our difficult child. Things that may seem trivial to seasoned parents of difficult children are pretty overwhelming to us rookies! Also, we are still trying to "figure things out" so every little behavior gets magnified.

Thanks again,
Cheryl

 

[SRL]

Yeah, mine was venting when he took his first step into the van. What helped was handing him a juice box as he got in. It was a distraction plus sucking is calming in the sensory sense.

When the stress building up at school "requires" such drastic immediate venting afterwards, a debriefing break can be written into the child's IEP. My son's team said it's not fair to the family and they can do things like schedule a classroom break last in the afternoon or they said in the case of one student he was taken to the gym and running laps for 5 minutes relieved the stress so that the transition to home was managable.

 

[hopefloats]

Wow! Thanks SRL! You have helped greatly. My son just started 4K and was getting phone calls like crazy. Were still figuring things out but your tips have helped calm some volatile situations.

Cheryl, hang in there! Maybe we can help each other as we learn more. At least the shoes are taking the brunt of it! He!He!
lorrie

 

[busywend]

Also, it could be the simplest thing that is frustrating to him. Perhaps the bow of the lace on his shoe was sticking up. That may be what he was telling to get down.

It can be simple to us, but amazingly frustrating to them.

It takes a lot of time to be able to look at things differently! You are doing great!

Now that you look at things differently, you will change your parenting just slightly to accomodate a bit and it will help him to calm much quicker. Not that you were doing a thing incorrectly. For a easy child most of what we try with a difficult child works well. For a difficult child, non-traditional parenting tends to be the norm.

 

[SRL]

Wow! Thanks SRL! You have helped greatly. My son just started 4K and was getting phone calls like crazy.

Yeah, well, I saw a lot of applesauce hit the ceiling, cereal dumped on the table, and clothes thrown down the stairs before I wized up.

Hopefully the lesson will spare some other families.

 

[tinamarie1]

My son has very similar behavior. And honestly, my husband does it too. He will be cursing because something won't work right...cursing at the object...like stupid *&^^* hammer or something. agggg
While I can't get husband into therapy, I do take difficult child to a behavior modification specialist, who works with him on anger management. I really feel that if these things are not addressed, my son could become one of those people who go postal because things don't go his way all the time.
Tina

 

[hopefloats]

Just today after school, my son was playing with his Thomas the train set (loves it) and I heard him yelling "stop it or you'll be in trouble!" I thought he was talking to his little sister so I started to intervene when he told me he was talking to his stupid train. I know we all do it and we have to have some humor about things but what happens when it goes to far? After reading Cheryl's shoe post yesterday, I just had to sit back and laugh. Things are better after a good laugh.

THANKS AGAIN SRL found the fourm!!!!!!!!!!!!!