First Post - My 4 YO is Aggressive at School

[TeDo]

As for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), the only symptoms he has are sensory (which you can have without an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) diagnosis), resistance to transition and change, and difficulty with social skills... and perhaps empathy; although, he can recite that hitting hurts his friend's feelings and body.

He doesn't get interested in parts of objects or how they work, he's not overly interested in one topic. Well, he loves lawn equipment and will stop everything to help the neighbors "mow" if they are mowing, but he doesn't talk about it all the time. Actually, his teacher didn't even know he loved mowing stuff until someone was mowing at school one day and he begged her to let him sit at the window and watch. Also, his speech is expressive. He makes good eye contact with people he knows. He recognizes social cues, facial expressions, and changes in tone. His speech is normal - no big words that are completely inappropriate for his age.

Any thoughts? I think it's kind of a fear of mine that if I dig into testing that he'll be diagnosed with Asperger's...

You just described my difficult child 1 to a capital T. What's the fear about? I was relieved to finally know the WHY of everything we were dealing with. Now that I know why, I know how to get the school to help and I know how to avoid most situations that used to cause HUGE blowups. difficult child 1 was also very aggressive when he was younger. He could recite the "rules" but did not generalize it to all situations. He could tell me that hitting hurt Jimmy and he knew that but if Jimmy did something to him, all rules went out the window. It also meant that hitting doesn't necessarily hurt Fred. Know what I mean?? If you can get it ruled in or out, even the private school has to "help" him rather than punish him. They can't punish a kid for "having" a documented disability. I am so glad I'm not operating in the dark anymore. I'm glad I KNOW what I'm dealing with so I KNOW how to help my kids. We went through several years of h***, especially with the schools here and the damage it did emotionally to difficult child 1 was brutal.

I really think you should get Occupational Therapist (OT) started sooner rather than later, also. He has such HUGE sensory issues that they need to be addressed before you're going to be able to deal with anything else. I guarantee you it will be a worthwhile "investment" in his future (and yours too)...... IF you get a "good" one.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I had to come to terms with the fact that the labels do not define my kid. My kid is a major difficult child... with a whack of really good stuff tossed in. Hard to define, hard to diagnosis, hard to work with. BUT... the dxes gave ME a far better handle on what we were dealing with, what to fight for (in the school/medical systems), what not to fight about (with difficult child), and so on.

 

[TeDo]

Where's that darn <LIKE> button?!? Very well put IC and VERY true!!!

 

[TiredSoul]

You have pretty much described my difficult child too. He was diagnosis'd with ADHD and ODD when he was 5. He is 10 now. I am still not convinced we have the right diagnosis.

Would you mind elaborating on the recommendations for Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT). That was recently suggested to us as well but we cannot find anyone close who does it.

 

[Chantillylace]

Would you mind elaborating on the recommendations for Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT). That was recently suggested to us as well but we cannot find anyone close who does it.

Of course, some of this information is from the handouts the child development specialist gave me. They're from vanderbilt.edu/csefel

Basically, every day you have 10 minutes of "special play time." You set a timer and special play time always ends when the time goes off. If they throw a fit, you remind them that they get more time tomorrow. You follow their lead (usually you want to encourage sitting at a table to play though). They choose the toy, and you play what they're playing. The only other way besides the timer that the time ends is if they become aggressive. In that case, there's no chances - it immediately ends and they try again the next day. You want to narrate their play and talk constantly, but don't ask a lot of questions. Just talk about what they're doing. Try to copy them if you get opportunities. Encourage their imagination - if they want to make the car fly, then the car can fly. Once that is started and working well, then you can start working on the areas they need work on during play. In my son's case, that's social skills. Any opportunity I have to use it to teach social skills during our play time, then I do.

 

[TiredSoul]

Thank you. I had forgotten about that site. The recommendation for PCIT was made with regard to my 10 yr old difficult child. I haven't really been able to find much for working with the older child.