Kay, Nomad's daughter and my son seem to share, unfortunately, the same triad of qualities that alternately undermine them and undo us. 1. They insist upon complete autonomy of decision making. 2. Their judgment is poor and they refuse to accept that their decision making is flawed. 3. By doing it their way (wacky or half-assed), they create "realities" which are wacky, dangerous, conflictual or otherwise impossible. Instead of learning from this something about themselves, they tend to blame others. Instead of fixing the situations they turn to us for bail-outs. Yes. However, please refer to number 1, above. My son is living again with us. We are struggling but I am seeing some cracks in his mindset. He is afraid he will lose his SSI. He recognizes if he does he will lose the power base he has felt from this money. And with that he will lose the control he has felt in his life. He has relied on the money to feel control. To his credit, he is seeing the writing on the wall and he is cooperating to do (some) things that I insist upon, like medical treatment. At long last. While he may have matured a bit, what I think has happened is that he does not want to be homeless again. And he is anticipating that he may be dependent upon me, if his SSI money stops. Nomad. Your daughter is capable of learning from her experience. It seems that the quality that more than anything that gets her in trouble is her arrogance and imperiousness.