Getting ridiculous!!

[timer lady]

BBK,

Boredom is an art that our difficult children have to learn. In other words, they must learn to self amuse.

The tweedles were ever demanding of being entertained; always at the same time & always different things. After a time of being drained (as you are) I learned quickly to put a stop to things.

Keep in mind this took time to implement & more time for tweedles dee & dum to grasp however I put up a schedule for each day. kt & wm had chores to complete each day (based on age & ability); after chores was free time. They could choose whatever they wanted to do (within limits) during that free time. Next was snack & then it was whichever tweedle's turn to have mom's undivided attention. At first, I chose the activity. The other tweedle would have to self amuse while I was with the other. Lunch & then the other tweedles one on one.

After that it was back to self amusement. We had the usual sandbox, swingset & various other items in our back yard. As they were both so volatile there was no running about the neighborhood alone. However, they had made a few friends by then & could invite others over for a couple of hours in the afternoon. I'd supply cheap snacks (i.e. popcorn & koolaid; cookies & milk, etc.) & be able to watch over the antics & put a stop to any over the top behaviors.

This took a great deal of work on my part. It took even more to teach kt & wm to self amuse. Once they told me they were bored they were given a chore to complete. Washing walls, wiping down the bathroom sink & bathtub, cleaning appliances, carpet sweeping, etc.

They learned quickly not complain of boredom. They also learned quickly that I wasn't their playmate or best friend nor did I want to be. I didn't have the money to take them to movies or things of that nature on a daily basis.

The other thing I started to do was to swap out their toys & crafts on a biweekly basis. I limited toys & such to 12 each; also swapped out games, coloring books, night time books, movies, etc. Given the tweedles attention span at the time I should have done it weekly however this helped. Too many free time choices for the tweedles was overwhelming to them. By interchanging all this stuff it was like "new" each time it was reintroduced.

Just some ideas for you - I know this summertime boredom & the need to have mom's nonstop attention.

 

[trinityroyal]

BBK, Linda makes some very good suggestions.
These are similar to some of the things we have set up at my difficult child"s Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (and he's nearly 19!!!)

Sometimes, having to make a choice is such an overwhelming process, especially if a child is hyper or manic, or has Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) issues, or racing thoughts, or whatever. There's just too much stuff to process.

It's sort of a:
- what if I pick the wrong thing? I like swimming but I also like movies and if I choose the movie then maybe swimming today would be the best swimming ever and I would miss it - but I don't like the way my hair feels after getting out of the pool - but there's my new colouring book and I wanted to do that too, but then there's the movie. I wonder what's playing at the cinema, I've already seen that movie but I want to see it again...

and on and on it goes.

When mt difficult child had to choose between 2 or 3 fun things, he used to behave so badly that he would be punished by losing all of them. Then he would be good as gold for the next few days. It was weird. Almost as if the pressure of making teh right choice was so great that it was easier to lose all of the choices, than to pick one thing and possibly miss out on the Greatest Fun Ever To Be Had.

After a while, I stopped giving difficult child choices, or telling him ahead of time. I would put "special event" or "outing" on his calendar, but I wouldn't tell him what it was until a couple of hours beforehand. This seemed to help him not get too overwhelmed with everything.

{{{Hugs}}}

Trinity