Have you ever wanted to just homeschool?

[tinamarie1]

Pandora, difficult child does very well academically. He is super smart. The things he has the most trouble with are: taking tests (anxiety), but he still does pretty well, some reading comprehension (but thats getting better) and memorizing all of his multiplication tables. His teacher at the school he went to last year recommended that he get in gifted classes this year because he is a very analytical thinker. He made honor roll last year a few times too. He just needs that little push, but the school he was going to was hovering over him all day long. The Special Education teacher is like a teachers aide but assigned to one classroom all day and she sits right next to him and nags and nags all day. Also, they put all the Special Education kids in one class room with like 5 general ed kids, and divided them into different parts of the room, and the Special Education teacher would take all of those kids to a seperate room for ALL subjects except one, social studies. Now, to me thats not putting my kid in a Least Rest. Environment like they are supposed to, but they fought me on this and told me that is how it has to be because they can't change their system for just one kid.
I am done fighting with them and ready for him to excel at home like I know he will.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

TinaMarie,

I think about it at least once a week during each school year! I've said it before here and I'll say it again. If I didn't truly feel, in my gut, that my difficult child really needed the social aspect of school - disapointments, handling stress, being part of a group, socialization, taking turns, not being the center of the universe, etc., - I would homeschool him in a minute. He is extremely smart - just doesn't want anyone to know and also deals with a couple disabilities that make learning a little frustrating.

I hope you find a solution.

Sharon

 

[Marguerite]

Dazed&Confused - you said, "For me, my kids would want me to homeschool one day, and then the next, would have a fit if I even mentioned it. I would remind them of the isolation and that was the deal breaker."

With this decision, the child has to be part of the decision also. Once the decision is made, it is done. You can't go back, not immediately. You put your hand to the plough and keep going. You can't turn back, not until you get to the end of the furrow. Then you can re-evaluate and consider changing direction. So a child who can't stick at the decision - has to REALLY accept that they DID make tis decision. Maybe a contract between you that the child will sign? And don't forget your contract too, also discussed and developed with the child. For example, "the parent will not nag, but will try to stay calm and help the child find their own answers to the questions." Neither person signs the contract until they are happy with the wording. Neither contract is put forward for signing, until the person who wants the contract (the other party) is happy that it covers all bases.

A quick example of the child's contract -

"I will work at my lessons during school hours, or at other times as mutually discussed by my and my supervisor in order that my overall effort through the school week meets the requirement for a good week's worth of work. In exchange for working well through the school day five days a week, homework will be minimal or nonexistent.

I will make an effort to stay on task. If I am having difficulty staying on task I will discuss this with my supervisor.

I will ask for help if I cannot understand the work or if I keep making mistakes and can't work out why.

I will seek out opportunities to learn at all times."

And so on.

The supervisor's contract -

"I will try to not nag. However, I will also try to keep the student's nose to the grindstone, to at least make sure he/she is staying on task.

I will be understanding if he/she is having difficulty concentrating, or feeling overwhelmed by a task. If the child is feeling overwhelmed I will help by showing how the task can be broken down into smaller, simpler parts or made easier in some other way.

I may not know the answers - nobody knows everything - but I will help the student learn how to find the answers."

And so on.

Also included in there if you want - food options. You can include fun things like, "I can eat at my desk if I want to. I may not eat or drink at the computer unless it has a spill protector on the keyboard. I can do my schoolwork in my pyjamas if I want to. If I need a change of scenery, I may work outside if I choose, or even ask if we can go for a drive to sit in a park or a forest or anywhere else reasonably within range, so I have a different place to work. However, I recognise that this might make it more difficult to work than I anticipated - if I ask for effort from my supervisor, it has to be repaid with effort from me."

Other good things - difficult child 3 is portable. Since beginning this, we've gone away on holidays a number of times. Because we're not restricted to school holiday times, we can book at cheaper rates. We also go when things are quieter, fewer crowds of kids. difficult child 3 still gets plenty of social interaction, but with adults as well as children. After all, when he's an adult he will have to get on with adults then - he may as well start learning now.

I was socially isolated as a kid. I was "smarter than the average bear" and bullied and ostracised by other kids. I was a child in a household of adults. I got on well with adults, but not so well with kids my own age. I tended to gravitate to the geeky kids.
As an adult I've not had the same problems. Some adults I tend to avoid, because frankly to me, they show no more maturity than the kids who used to bully me. But kids - I get on with really well. I make a point of treating kids with respect. As a child, I also got on well with kids younger than me, or kids several years older. I tended to get on well with boys but not in a flirty kind of way, more as just another one of the blokes.

So especially now with hindsight - I can see that really pushing social interaction onto a kid who isn't fitting in well anyway, is over-rated.

However - if you have a child who DOES fit in well, who is popular with other kids, who is doing well at school - you COULD choose to home-school, but why go to that trouble if the child is happy and doing well?

I'm glad I wasn't home-schooled by my mother, because she would have continually distracted me and pulled me away from my work, to go help her. That was how my life was, at home. She was proud of me being so bright, but couldn't fathom that I would ever want a career. I was encouraged to do well at school, but when I finished school I was expected to get an easy job working behind a cash register or in a bank, until I got married and had kids (when of course I would not work). My mother was really concerned when I chose to study at university instead.

Back to holidays in school term - the week after we pulled difficult child 3 out of mainstream, we went to Tasmania for two weeks. We HAD planned that he would write a report for his class teacher in mainstream, we had organised to take some other schoolwork with us, but we just changed who he had to do the work for, on our departure. I DID take a copy of difficult child 3's subsequent Tasmania report to his previous mainstream teacher, to show how he was getting on. We left on good terms - they just couldn't give difficult child 3 what he needed, in terms of quiet learning space away from the crowds. We've since met his old teacher a few times, the last time being only about a month ago. A lovely man who only taught difficult child 3 for one school term but who was very kind and understanding.

When we go on holidays (and you can begin as a home-schooler by doing the same thing in your local area) we look for the local tourist spots, the historic places, the places of scientific interest, the local museums and zoos. We get to know the area and what makes it special. For example, Tasmania was originally the site of a penal colony, for the worst offenders. Much of the early settlement there was to support the penal colony at Port Arthur. That penal colony is very well preserved so we did a tour over it. However, there was also a very nasty massacre there twelve years ago (which led to Australia's now very tight gun control laws). difficult child 3 just wasn't emotionally strong enough to cope with ANY knowledge about the massacre so we carefully shielded him. Even so, despite Port Arthur now being a beautiful place and difficult child 3 at that time having minimal understanding of the convict history, he was like a panicked cat struggling on a leash, from the moment we arrived. He could not have known anything - but he kept saying, "I've got yo get out of here, something really bad is going to happen."
easy child 2/difficult child 2 wanted to stay so husband & I took turns keeping difficult child 3 calm and relaxed.

Next day we drove back there - easy child 2/difficult child 2 wanted to re-visit, while the rest of us were at a small zoo just up the road. difficult child 3 was in a panic, just being in the car park of Port Arthur (the gunman also stalked his victims through the car park and up the road).

It was weird, and also taught us that difficult child 3's anxiety needs to always be considered, wherever we go. It also taught us that he is far more empathic than is usually considered possible for someone with autism.

However - in Tasmania, we explored the docks (where the Boxing Day yacht race finishes); the local Shot Tower; the agriculture of the region, the wildlife (including the problems of the face cancer that is killing off Tasmanian Devils). We went for a one-day drive to see the Southern Beech forests that are a relic of Gondwanaland. Then last year in New Zealand, we made a point of visiting the same type of Southern Beech forests in Milford Sound. It was really bizarre to see rainforest, and snow. Together.

difficult child 3 has discovered a talent for photography. We let him use the digital camera and he took a lot of photos on our holiday. He also wrote a lot of text, much of it on a small keyboard which travels with him (Alphasmart Neo). He uses the keyboard because his hands are hypermobile. But it meant tat in Tasmania, for example, while we were driving through the Huon Valley, difficult child 3 could look out the window and when we said, "what crops are growing here?" he could immediately type, "apples".

In putting the photos and text together into a presentation format, difficult child 3 then was learning to use the computer technology.

There is so much you can do. When you begin to help your child learn, you find yourself learning also. There is so much scope.

A lot of places you go to - ask at the front door if they have any resource sheets for schools. A lot of places do.

We went to Canberra two years ago, for a week. We used the "let's ask for a resource sheet" thing wherever we went. Canberra for us, is Washington, for you. Only more so. The entire reason for existence of the city of Canberra, is for there to be somewhere for our national government to be placed. Everything there was ONLY there because it is where our Federal government is run. The Mint - we got a resource sheet there. difficult child 3 ran up and down the corridors answering questions. The War Memorial - same story. Old Parliament House - no resource sheet, but the whole place is now a museum (as well as art gallery) with a focus on the events in Australia's political history. The old chambers, in the Upper and Lower House are now available for school groups to practice being politicians. They allow school groups to role-play. People can watch this in the public gallery.
Over at the NEW Parliament House (the hill - it's an amazing construction, it is an earth-covered building of enormous size, the dug out an entire hill, built the new Parliament House then turned it back into the hill again afterwards, with a giant flagpole on top) you can also explore through the two main rooms where Parliament sits. Under normal circumstances, you can sit in the public gallery and observe. Part of our Parliament is also televised - Question Time in the Senate (Upper House).

You can get tours of both the old place and the current one. The tour guides are often former public servants, now retired, who have some fascinating stories to tell.

What difficult child 3 has learned tis way is staying with him.He takes photos, so we have those memories also. His photos have commentary to them (which sometimes we tell him, sometimes he finds out for himself). By writing this commentary, he helps it stick in his memory.

When we're on holiday and difficult child 3 has lessons, he often does the more basic stuff (maths, science) where we are stating, in the morning. Meanwhile the rest of us have a leisurely rise, sleep in, shower, play a game or two at the resort, watch TV - then we go out for an explore. We buy the local food then take it 'home' and cook it. We have looked at where it grows and how it is part of the economy.

This is a marvellous adventure for the family. It provides a learning opportunity for everyone, one that simply isn't possible in mainstream.

Don't underestimate the value of good documentaries on TV. Similarly, computer packages. For example, the correspondence school put us onto Mathletics, which is a web-based version of a much more expensive maths tutoring system which we also looked at a few times. But compared to thousands of dollars for a licence to use the software, A$99 a year per child buys us 24/7 access to this maths package which, as far as I can see, is equivalent. It is global in access, although it is an Aussie school curriculum, we've been told. It's possible it now can match other countries' requirements to the extent that when the local authorities approach you and say, "How is your child doing in maths?" you can answer them with a printout of his results in this package and have them pat you on the back and say, "well done."

You will probably find a routine works better for you. However, with a bit of support the child's natural work methods will fall into their own routine. When you find what works well, discuss it with your child and say (for example), "I've noticed that when you begin your school day with half an hour of Mathletics, you then do well for the rest of the day. What do you think?"

difficult child 3 does have some days when he just can't settle to work. That's when we get him to do easier work, or subjects he can concentrate on better. Sometimes this settles him to work better.

If we have a house full of people or a break in our routine, it also unsettles him. Again, we have to modify what we do to take tis into account.

The end result - difficult child 3 now CAN get distracted at times, but generally works well and knows for himself if he hasn't done a good job. He is self-motivated, he will dig in an work on a problem. He has learnt that work has to be done. It won't just go away (as it used to in mainstream). he can't keep postponing an unpleasant task and expect it to eventually vanish. So he may as well get stuck in.

Sometimes it can be confronting for difficult child 3 to read a book that he is required to read. That is when again, I can modify it. If we have the book available as a movie, we watch the movie. In pyjamas, with popcorn, snuggled under a blanket. Then we can read the book together, the same way. I read the text, he does the dialogue and enjoys putting in the different emotions in the characters.

You do need to put in the time. But if you approach it as a shared adventure, you will both enjoy it. And no matter what your level of education, you will find yourself learning, too.

Marg

 

[dreamer]

WHen difficult child was in public school and topic of year round schooling came up, I admit, I was greedy for my own needs, I did NOT want to do year round school, I could NOT bear the thought of trying to get difficult child off to school every single day, and I ressented that her holidays would not have matched up on the calender with the siblings school holidays, so our family would literally have had NO full family breaks or holidays except CHristmas Day and Thanksgiving Day and New Years Day. (and weekends, of course) THat very idea suffocated ME. Getting difficult child to school every day was a chore, and it was difficult. ANd I personally did want some time where ALL of us had a same day off, or whatever. Ironically, how me and the kids do things, now? We do not really take holidays or breaks that are true days off from "school" Not as many and not as formally as I would have thought we would- but- I know part of it is partly becuz we are not useing a formal book and paper curriculum.
At school my son had used an alphasmart since grade 2 or so, but at start of middle school, school decided to yank it cold turkey. AT that time my son could not write, at all. And also at that time he had severe vision deficits, as well, that school was NOT accomodateing. My son does now write, altho it is still below grade level, and his reading has now improved. He is a whiz at a keybnoard, tho. ANd somehow reading off a screen turned out to be easier for him for learning to read than useing books. He has an amazing photographic memory and a great quick calculating mind for maths and sciences. We had NO idea, neither did his school. He also does have a great desire to learn and he does have interest in a vast array of topics, to our good fortune. THat said, my son is bare bones, to the point, man of few words and the more adjectives and adverbs you insert the quicker he tunes you out, whether it is written, read or spoken. He wants to know bottom line. Get to the point. And he "gets" the point quickly. Altho he is distracted by adverbs and adjectives, he still manages to have a mind for detail.
Turns out it seems much of general school work might simply take too long? Has too much fluff? Im not sure. I tend to think for some of it, his colorblindness, 3 different forms of it, made it hard for him for color descriptions of things when visual aides were used that relied on colors.
Once we switched to oral spelling before written spelling lessons and then written ones, he more than blossomed. He took off like a rocket. Sadly in a school setting, it would have required so many accomodations, the school flat out refused to provide unless they placed him into a Special Education classroom, but the content of the Special Education classroom I think went far too slow to work for my son? Tiny little things we weere able to pick up on here at home ourself just becuz we had the freedom and ability to work one on one with him, and freedom to TRY various methods. It was like we found some magic key, and son finally had this inrush of magic, and POOF. Suddenly he was actively seeking all kinds of things he wanted to learn. In his huge quest to find what he wants to find, he practices and perfects his reading and writeing, both handwriting and assembling written words. So our "schooling" is almost 24-7 7 days a week year round. Current events spur him to want to know more, and that spurs him to actively seek out knowledge, and what he learns he decides he wishes to build on, it can be quite amazing. And he gets so enthusiastic about it, it is quite contagious, and then he wants to teach US. and he makes things so appealing, we wnt to learn, too.
And becuz he is here all the time, he also shows far more interest in how a home runs, becuz he is here, and not at school, he has more awareness of everyday matters, such as oh we have to drop the car for oil change - he is here instead of at school when we do these things------so he is simply more aware- and then he gets intersted in THOSE things more than if they just magically happened while he was gone at school all day. SO then it spurs him to go seek more info about ...say ......cars. And one things just leads into another.

Yes, some days we do spend more time formally learning than others, some days we might get involved and go well into the wee hours, and other days we might do less.

The real truth is, - I am NOT "his teacher" I am still his mother. Maybe he is more his own teacher? Do we have "school" here, not really, we just have a very curious kid who seems to want to know almost everything, and is willing to seek answers. It kinda took off on its own, and grew and grew and our learning is now near constant. Its kinda like the more he learns, the more he wants to learn.
Interestingly, learning opportunities can be found in all kinds of places, all kinds of circumstances and situations. Now that we have gotten away from the criticism, judgements, bullies, the negative parts of his former school experience, HE views learning much differently. And now he is like a sponge. One who actively seeks out things to learn.
He tells ME why the bread rises, how the water heater works, and why I need to change he sparkplug on our lawn mower. He now tells me how much paint I need for the hall walls, or how much pasta to serve company. He also now tells me how much it will cost when it is on sale for 20% off and with the coupon and how much tax will be, and how much to tip the server.
And he no longer sits struggling over worksheets and handouts that I now think to him looked pointless, from the time school gets out in afternoon, thru dinner thru bathtime, and all the way up to me finally saying ENOUGH homework even tho he is not even yet half done.No more weekends spent staying home becuz a weeks worth of schoolhandouts were never finished properly becuz he could not get his writing to fit on the pages so as to be acceptable to his teacher so the whole family wound up stuck at home so he could continue to try and try and still not get it done. No more late dinners cuz I had to go get him after detention for unacceptable work or becuz he had to stay with a tutor.
He no longer gets his crippling headaches and stomach aches.
I FINALLY get to SEE his smiling face. I FINALLY get to have a conversation wth him that is not limited to school textbooks.
He finally gets to show me a project of a radio running off a battery and explaining it to me instead of showing me another report card thta would make me feel low, and make him feel awful. My son is now 13 and some days I feel like WOW! Hey fella, it is nice to make your acquaintance. And many many days he teaches ME things.

by the way, tonite I gave a presentation that HE prepared, and I gave him the credit when I did so........and "we" won first place for our stellar presentation. We were among professionals, and the quality of my sons work was every bit as good as theirs. And the content? Apparently was slightly better. I got to bring my son home first prize! He beamed. And then they KEPT our presentation to use as an example. and as a learning tool for others.

My son, the public school failure. No, I am not a teacher. BUT my son IS a learner. Altho I must admit something. I am more excited to have the gift, yes the GIFT of TIME with my son. If he were in school still, I would not have this time with him. At one time that idea scared me, made me nervous, caused me anxiety. I truly treasure our time we now have. If I did not homeschool him, I am not sure I would ever have had the chance to have this gift of time with him, or know him like I do, now. For him? I doubt he ever would have been able to learn anywhere near as much in public school. It just was NOT working.

Is he the center of the universe here? Not by a LONG shot. NOt with an ill father with many needs. Not with a pregnant sister and another sister who is bipolar. BUT now he is not lost in the shuffle of an overcrowded classroom, either. NOW he is a valuable member of a family unit. Is he socially isolated? I don't think so. He is actually less socially isolated than he was when he was struggling over that homework day after day hour after hour. He now has far more social interactions, with a wider variety of people. He is not a big fish in a little pond nor a little fish in a big pond. In family setting, he can finally hold up a valued family members responsibilites, and can SEE quite clearly WHY he has a role in family, he can see the results of his efforts becuz I have him right here often enough where he can see the difference he can make better. He is less a center of the universe in many ways becuz we no longer are bound by the requirements of his schoolday schedule and assignments. This does not mean he has no schedule. It means he does have to actively check and see how he can fit in with the entire familys schedule. and HE has to check his activities schedules and he has to take responsibility to make sure his activities do not conflict with each other or other family members needs. Public school was public school and as such THAT always was #1 on schedule. That did dictate everything pretty much. And it meant there were some things son did not have to corraborate on becuz there were far feewer things he could do at all.


Whew, OK sorry. Even I did not realize just how much I really do enjoy this, and while I had been aware to some degree how much my son has progressed, YOU gave me a chance to REALLY think about it in depth. THank you.

 

[tinamarie1]

marg & dreamer...i could pull up a chair and listen to this allllll day. can i just say again...you are inspiring me. i can't wait to see how difficult child soars!

 

[Marguerite]

Thanks, tinamarie.

I just wish I had realised years earlier just how good this could be. However, I must emphasise - you do need to be engaged in this yourself and not feel resentful at all of the way it encroaches on your space.

I put myself in the mindset of - if it's during school hours, my job is to be available to difficult child 3, to support his learning.

This means that if I'm reading a book, or watching my favourite TV program, but it's during school hours - I have to stop my stuff IMMEDIATELY if difficult child 3 needs any help. I also have to do it willingly, without sounding exasperated or annoyed.

By remaining patient with difficult child 3, it means he isn't discouraged from asking for help. He's such a flamin' independent kid anyway, the last thing I need is to discourage him. The other thing that is useful is keeping myself flexible to find ways to help him learn, and to get his bookwork done.

difficult child 3 does correspondence lessons which are mostly on paper. This year he has a few subjects with lessons on computer. But a classic example of what I'm talking about was last year, towards the end of our New Zealand trip.
We were catching a train that goes right across South Island, from coast to coast. Because we were sightseeing tourists, we were catching the train both ways in the same day - leaving early in the morning from the east, arriving for lunch on the west coast, then an hour later leaving the west by train back to where we started.

difficult child 3 wasn't really interested in the scenery, although it was spectacular. We'd already seen a great many very high snow-covered mountains, driven over a few and around many more. He liked it, but kids don't sit and gaze at scenery the way adults do. So we gave difficult child 3 some of his more challenging bookwork (English) to do on the train. He had long stretches of sameness, the sound of the train acted like white noise to mask any background conversations, etc. so he was able to generally stay on task. And the occasional stops along the way gave him enough of a break to make the task enjoyable. Because of the heavy snows, few people were travelling so we had most of the carriage to ourselves. difficult child 3 just spread out on the little table in front of the seat - Alphasmart in front of him, bag with papers beside him, current work sheets beside the Alphasmart. And camera also beside him in case the scenery changed suddenly. Meanwhile although I was oohing and aahing at the scenery, I stayed close by so I could watch difficult child 3 and step in if he looked like he needed encouragement.
His task was a tricky one for him - he had to write an adventure story. Since we had just had our "snowed in" adventure, he drew on that for his story and wrote about two boys being stranded at home in the snow and only panicking when the satellite TV went out because the satellite dish filled up with snow (this happened to us also). He was writing this as the train rattled through the high mountains of the NZ alps. We got off the train and explored for 20 minutes when the train stopped at the highest point, an isolated village called Arthur's Pass where snow had closed the road and the paths were treacherous with ice. This is so strange to us, especially seeing things like a broken water pipe which had icicles building up in fantastic shapes, from the water still spraying out and freezing. It all added to what he was writing - and because he had work to do, it actually helped him stay calm amidst all the strangeness.
Back on the train I took photos of him working, to post to his teachers - it was such a classic sight: difficult child with his head down over his books, the breathtaking mountain scenery flashing past the window unregarded.

So yes, it can be hard work. But this aspect is, for me and for husband, an unexpectedly wonderful thing - the chance to see education, lessons and life's experiences as an opportunity to learn, but to see it through our child's eyes and thereby have the chance to learn it all over again ourselves. And this time, to really enjoy it.

Yes, we have to put our own wishes aside sometimes. Yes, a lot of what I would like to do for myself at the moment is going to have to wait another few years. But in the meantime, I'm doing a vital job, I'm providing my son with the best opportunity to learn that he can possibly get at the moment. This time will pass. When it has passed, I will be free to get back to what I want. I can also remind myself that while I am sitting cloistered in my house supporting difficult child 3 as he slowly plods through his work at a snail's pace (sometimes he can be frustratingly slow) that at least the work is being done - in a mainstream setting, he wouldn't be learning any of the topic because he IS so slow.

Knowing that I have more control now, that I am free to do more without having to field phone calls from schools that difficult child 3 needs rescuing (or they do) is HUGELY comforting. I am his mother - I know his emotional needs better than anyone else. I love him and want to help him more than any teacher possibly could.

The down side - you are with your child SO MUCH that you can get sick of the sight of each other. You do need to plan in time apart. For difficult child 3, this is at the end of his school day, when he chooses to go for a walk, alone. I'd like to go too (and sometimes I have done so) but I find difficult child 3 likes to wander off alone just to be by himself.
Sometimes he wants to go play with a friend. For a long time, I would go too and sit to talk with the mother while the boys played together in another room.

Another facet - husband often gets impatient if he gets home from work and finds chores not done. His first reaction is, "He's been home all day - why isn't it done?" However, he then remembers - difficult child 3, during the day, MUST focus on his schoolwork. I generally do not ask him to do any chores during school hours, unless it fits in (such as putting away the dishes while he is watching a documentary on the TV and there's an ad break).

"School work during school hours" cuts both ways.

And remember - although this is working for us, and I will happily support anyone who wants to give this a try for a child who is just not functioning well at school, I do not necessarily advocate home schooling for all children. It's not necessarily a specialised task, but it IS a major commitment to make this decision, because you MUST remember that you have just chosen to put the child's education as your highest priority, during the most productive part of your day. You really do need a very strong reason to justify this level of commitment.

But once you've chosen - do it wholeheartedly, and I hope you find the rewards in the special, unexpected moments as I have done.

Marg

 

[dreamer]

OK, I focused so much on all the positive things...goodness I got excited myself.

When we first started it was not quite how it is,now. And becuz my son had such a very low reading and writing ability, I was stumped. I had NO idea where to start or how to start, and some days I just improvised. My son and I rattled around while I floundered and the whole family did some brainstorming. We dabbled with various grade levels and curriculums for homeschooling stores, in the beginning. Thru endless IEP meetings and schools say so on my sons supposed grade level, school was so certain our son was just never going to be able to learn. One day in frustration, I sought out Helen Kellers book and movie and son and I watched that. Strange thing, it hit me hard, and it captured my sons attention. And that became our starting point. And for us, it reminded me so much of my son. HE decided he wanted to learn ASL. He found it intersting, how sign language and Anne Sullivan opened the world up for Helen Keller. I found it inspirational. As we stuggled, both of us, to begin learning sign language, I began to finally figure out other different ways to help my son learn. It was and is and has been a family "project" BUT in our family, most things any of us do are family projects. My sons 2 older sisters had been just as upset with how school was going for their brother as I was. SO I had them on board fully. And they willingly and glady pitched in to help.
For my difficult child, my oldest child, my bipolar child, she landed into homeschooling only becuz the school and state mostly sorta dumped her there. It was the last resort. She was also not as young as my son. SHe was 15-16. She landed there gradually, via open end suspension from school, that flowed into out of school dureing a drawn out due process hearing and a stint at homeboound that did not work out how homebound is meant to happen. She came to homeschooling after severe school related serious psychotic inducing PTSD. Even now, her learning must take place in ways that do not remind her at all of "school" the school building, teachers, etc. She came to homeschooling much more psychologically damaged, altho with fewer learning disabilities. And she was older and more resistant. Actually her first year was spent largely most simply healing. Her learning began to be sought out by her only after our son began to be homeschooled. She is not the self seeking learner her brother is, but I often wondr if it is partly due to her age and I am sure it is also partly due to her PTSD. We are still seeking a magic key to unlock her. She IS learning, just not at the same rate as our son. BUt she is blossoming in other ways, now. ANd growing. And becuz for her school experience was so engulfing and negative in her perspective, she had stopped growing and learning at all while still in public school system. Not just academics, but EVERYTHING.

And yes, it was strange and weird to get used to haveing my kids HOME all day every day. I also have my husband home all day every day due to his disabilities. When I was growing up, men went to work all day and kids went to school all day. Here I have my man and 2 of my 3 kids home all the time. My difficult child is now 19 and very soon tobe 20 and some days she watches the busses and kids walking past our house to and from school and says wistfully to me "mom, I thought all kids were supposed to love school" When easy child went to prom both jr and sr year, Buffy was teary and weepy and grieving not going to prom. easy child did offer to take her sister, but then difficult child decided she did not want to go to the Medievil Times place. (not her cup of tea at all) BUT we did have to discuss that "school" is more than just "prom"
SO, it did take us a little time to get accustomd to all of this, and it took some detective work to settle on our way of going about things. It took some trial and error. and then.....we had the good fortune of haveing such a naturally curious and resourceful child. If my son were not so curious and interested in knowing so many things.....it could be different. We might be useing a formal curriculum from somewhere, still.

 

[Pandora]

My daughter was in public school till this year. She had not been diagnosed with ADD till January of this year. The years of untreated ADD have left her with what I like to call gaps in her education. I do not believe our local middle school was up to the job of catching her up academically. There were also a lot of issues with her being teased and ostracized by her classmates. This year we pulled her out of public school and have her going to a private religious school. The teacher is working with her on her academics, and the teasing issue has virtually disappeared; it just wouldn't be tolerated. Had this school not accepted her I would likely have homeschooled her. If you are not satisfied with what your son is getting at his present school I'd encourage you to think about other options.

 

[goldenguru]

Hi tinamaria-

I'm jumping in a little late. I pulled my daughter out of high school in October of her freshman year of high school. She just could NOT function in the social context. She was being bullied and ostracized. It was the best thing I ever did.

In our community there is an actual homeschooling network of other families that home school. The kids did service projects, field trips, gym classes, etc. There was even a co-op of sorts where a chemist homeschooling mom taught chemistry to 6 or 8 high schoolers etc. There are terrific curriculums for home schoolers.

Don't feel like you have to 'teach'. I saw it more as facilitating learning.

My daughter decided to return to a mainstream high school in her senior year. She was very far ahead in terms of credits. She had no trouble keeping up even with the harder core classes like economics and government. It is a fallacy that home schooled kids don't receive such a good education. I say it is superior.

If a child is being exposed to all manner of meanness in the school setting - there is no way learning can occur. It is just too stressful. I would encourage you to check out homeschooling networks in your community and go visit a few homes to get a feel for what is available.

Good luck.